AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Welcome to VodkaPundit. It is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 11:00:34 AM ----- BODY: Welcome to VodkaPundit. It is the VodkaPundit's view that the best commentary comes after a lovely adult beverage or three. Just enough, in my grandfather's wise words to, "loosen the lips and sharpen the wits." Thus, you'll find most new postings after 5pm. The VodkaPundit is squirreled away in his Rocky Mountain hideaway, imbibing the news in safety and secrecy. Just so you know, he'll be attacking things from the Decadence Caucus of the Heinlein Wing of the small-L libertarian perspective. And a special thanks to Home Depot, without whom the new office dry bar would still be just a dream. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why Aren't We Bombing Iraq PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 11:51:34 AM ----- BODY: Why Aren't We Bombing Iraq Back To The Stone Age Already (Or As They Call It, "Last Thursday")? Around the same time we were starting to show effects against the Taliban last fall, the Administration floated trial balloons about making the Saddam Hussein regime our Next Target in the War on Terror. And I think everybody but a few muddle-headed do-gooders and some State Department Pukes (assignment to class: find an important difference between those two, and having the Marine Corps on call does not count) thought nuking Baghdad (not literally) was a pretty damn fine idea. So why haven't we been sending armoured and mechanized batallions to Kuwait already? Why aren't the other two-thirds of 10th Mountain Division being moved to Turkey? I mean, it's a pretty simple squeeze play: Mountain soldiers and Special forces (along with Turks and Kurds) moving in from the north, and big armoured columns scything through from the south. So where are the troop ships, the convoys of cargo planes? Troop movements this big can't be hidden -- and that's a good thing. It tells the Bad Guy, "Your days are numbered, start packing for Sudan -- we'll bomb there next." It puts the fear of God or Allah or Shiva or Whomever into them. And that's healthy for our foreign policy, puts some backbone into our "allies," and further tames the Arab "street." So I ask again -- why the hell aren't we building up over there? Simple. We're gonna let Iran do it. Oh, don't worry. We're not about to let those hostage-taking Ayatollahs invade Iraq or anything like that. But let's be clear: We know for a fact that the "Persian street" is ripe for rising up against their theocratic government. The population is overwhelmingly young, with little if any memory of the Shah, They want freedom. They want to wear decent women's fasions. They want to make out in the park. They want their MTV. And we want them to get what they want. A push here, a shove there, some small arms discretely made available through air drops and overland from our New Friends the Turkomen, and... voila! A democratic Iran. Is it really that easy? No, of course not. Neither was Afghanistan. But it is doable. And before the dictator's blood can be washed off the streets of Tehran, the people of Baghdad will ask themselves two questions: One, why can't we do that?; and two, will the American's help us, too? And we need to reply: Of course you can have that and of course we will. The time to start sending troops to Kuwait and Turkey is the same time we start giving a little hope to the good people of Iran. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: OK, our template editing has PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 01:22:52 PM ----- BODY: OK, our template editing has not gone to plan. So disastrous, in fact, that we'll be skipping this evening's vodka & tonic (VnT) and heading straight for the scotch. Update: Looking a little better now. Got rid of all those weird numbers. Learn from my mistake -- never tackle a new web project without the kind of cocktail James Bond prefered. That's "large and very strong and very well made." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This excerpted from an excerpt PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 03:24:19 PM ----- BODY: This excerpted from an excerpt from today's Opinion Journal Best of the Web: "Warlords from Somalia and terrorists linked to the al Qaeda network have been spotted moving from the failed African state to nearby nations," reports the Washington Times' Bill Gertz. "A group of Somalian Muslim guerrillas was spotted recently as they fled to Yemen, U.S. officials told The Washington Times," suggesting that they plan to use Yemen "as a staging area for guerrilla attacks if U.S. forces start military operations against al Qaeda terrorists in Somalia." In other words, just the mere thought that we might be coming is terror enough for the terrorists. InstaPundit is right again -- victory is the best propaganda. For a bigger-picture look at how we can use a bigger-muscle version of this strategy against Iran and Iraq, see below. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If Victor Davis Hanson isn't PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 04:25:00 PM ----- BODY: If Victor Davis Hanson isn't careful, he'll find himself with a government job -- as Italy's new Minister for Saying What Needs to be Said. In this great piece, he sounds like Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, only without the timidity. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Enron implosion is starting PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 04:40:52 PM ----- BODY: The Enron implosion is starting to look really bad for the Bush Administration, according to the latest from MSNBC, the Las Vegas Sun, and...hell, everybody. As more details come out, we'll see the Democrats are just as much to blame as the Republicans -- but the Dems will come out ahead on points. You read that here first, kids. The question remains, will this scandal be another Iran-Contra, or just another Whitewater? I'm betting one vodka martini on the latter, but with a lot less certainty than on the first prediction. This much is certain: It's gonna get messy. UPDATE: Team Bush just can't score a P.R. win. This story in the New York Times sums up what I saw in Bush's press conference earlier on Fox News -- namely, that the Bush Administration just plain doesn't look good. Bush proposed some new pension plan protection policies (all hail alliteration!), but as the NYT story says, "that move appeared aimed in part at containing the political damage from Enron's demise." Bush needs to learn what cost his father the presidency. When it comes to the economy, you must at least appear to be pro-active. Simply reacting to a scandal such as this makes his administration look neglectful at best and corrupt at worst. But I still say the scandal will hurt both sides(Reps more than Dems), and play out more like Whitewater than Iran-Contra. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This just in: According to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 05:53:48 PM ----- BODY: This just in: According to a new report on Forbes.com, the soon-to-be-released rap CD from Stephen Ambrose has at least two rhythm tracks lifted directly from Cornel West's new album, Songs In The Key of Afro-Centricity. Stay posted for details. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Times (of London) reports PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 10:59:16 PM ----- BODY: The Times (of London) reports that US companies need to write off one trillion in dotcom losses. Folks, that's a trillion dollars. No typo, trillion with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Piss-Poor Stock Market Tech Returns for the Foreseeable Future. Says The Times, "Although the write-offs are book-keeping exercises that do not involve any cash, they will prove to be embarrassing for many chief executives." It should also prove embarrassing to the And The Band Marched On supporters of the former Clinton Administration. This tech bubble started under Clinton's watch, and it was Clinton's man Joel Klein at the Justice Department who brought it all down with his silly, unproductive, immoral suit against Microsoft. I don't mean to harp against Clinton, but this is the spin the Republicans need to take if they are to survive this year's midterm elections. And lest you think VodkaPundit is a dyed-in-the-red-white-and-blue-wool right winger, wait until Bush messes up. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Here It Comes In an PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 11:09:18 PM ----- BODY: Here It Comes In an unsigned editorial in the Thursday edition, the New York Times writes, "So far, the White House is taking the right steps. We trust its determination will not flag in the months ahead, even if embarrassing questions come up about Enron's ties to the administration." The NYT does so for one reason only: Later, when they attack the Administration over some perceived snag in the investigation, they can claim, "Look, we were being reasonable, but the whole thing reeks to high heaven and the stink starts in the Oval Office." Once again, you read it here first. VodkaPundit will continue to make not-so-bold predictions, right up until the bar closes. Later, we'll take a look back at just how cloudy -- or clear -- my crystal ball turns out to be. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: More inveracity from Paul Krugman, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 11:25:58 PM ----- BODY: More inveracity from Paul Krugman, not that anyone right of Lenin is surprised. Today Comrade K writes about budget shortfalls in state capitals across our great land. "In the 1990's most states had Republican governors; and they applied the same strategy — using what-me-worry forecasts and bogus accounting to justify tax cuts for the affluent — that the Bush administration applied at a national level in 2001. In both cases the consequences were predictable. " When Krugman says "affluent," get a good grip on your wallet if you and your spouse combined make more than 50k a year. Rosy forecasts? Like the ones coming out of the previous administration that the business cycle had at long last been repealed by the magic of Clintonomics? Or the forecasts of prior Clinton budgets, with deficits as far as the eye can see? From VodkaPundit's perch, the statehouses did OK. Krugman explains that the states are suffering near-record shortfalls because, "The biggest proximate cause of the budget crunch is the end of the great 1990's boom; second place goes to surging medical costs. Expenses for homeland security add a final insult." Let's look at those one by one. The '90s boom did indeed end -- thanks in part to jacked up oil prices in 2000, which is thanks in toto to the prior Administration's total lack of an energy policy or a coherent foreign policy. Medical costs? He wants to blame our bloated worst-of-both-worlds semi-free/semi-welfare state medical economy on Republican governors? Paul, you might as well blame VodkaPundit for starting World War I. And Homeland Security expenses. OK, fair enough. But it seems the only people worrying about terrorism were Ralph Peters, Tom Friedman, and other assorted misfits of the right and left. Again, how are Republican governors to blame? He continues on in a similar vein -- although Krugman is man enough to admit that "spending by state and local governments was about the same share of G.D.P. at the end of the 1990's as it was at the beginning." Did he ever consider that the only thing keeping some states anything close to solvent is that they haven't raised taxes in a recession? He also mentions a "rainy day fund." But we all know what government lockboxes are like -- like leaving Ron Jeremy in charge of your little sister. Paul Krugman used to be an interesting, fair-minded, new-thinking economist. And now he just works for The New York Times. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Something better from the NYT. PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/10/2002 11:31:13 PM ----- BODY: Something better from the NYT. Nicholas D. Kristof makes some fine points today regarding North Korea. You might not agree -- and I don't -- that those kooky kids north of the DMZ are more dangerous than Saddam, and few might agree with his prescription, but he still makes some fine points about the Dear Leader's regime. Good reading. UPDATE: Cocktail-induced mental connection -- is it mere coincidence that DMZ and DMV sound so much alike? Think I'm kidding? Long lines, senseless forms, unpleasant service, and (at least in Colorado) the ability to take away your license for little or no cause. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Last Call -- final words PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/11/2002 12:17:50 AM ----- BODY: Last Call -- final words for the night Regarding that "sexy" promo for Paula Zahn's hot new show on CNN, Andrew Sullivan wrote, "a cute face and decent boobs are a huge advantage in capturing and keeping your audience." Andrew, from where I sit, Paula seems to have phenomenal boobs. And I'm pretty sure she has a face up there somewhere in the head region. Look, we all know she wasn't that great on Fox, and we all know she won't be that great on CNN, and we all know that some of us will continue to watch her anyway. I mean, there's a chance that as she re-crosses her legs in that short skirt that maybe she forgot her panties and... ...and now you all know why I'm going to call this (hopefully) daily feature "Last Call." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Tina Brown's Talk magazine is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/11/2002 10:17:22 AM ----- BODY: Tina Brown's Talk magazine is 55 million bucks in the hole. That's 19 millions dollars better than Salon.com, and with Talk, at least you got something to line the bird cage with. So which will survive? My guess is Salon will -- and you read it here first. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It looks like South Dakota PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/11/2002 10:22:56 AM ----- BODY: It looks like South Dakota might finally have figured out a way to rid itself of Tom Daschle, but only if he gets too big for his britches and runs for president. Daschle might be able to beat Bush -- if this recession lasts two more years, if the war takes a sudden turn for the worse, and/or if Bush just seems, well, like too much like his dad. But that's an awful lot of hoping to risk his position as Senate Majority Leader. And odds are, he'll keep that job come November. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It looks like Blogger is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/11/2002 12:15:33 PM ----- BODY: It looks like Blogger is finally back up and running. We'll see if it lasts. Meantime, my Best Man is having his 40th birthday party tomorrow night -- but the real party starts this afternoon and will end sometime Sunday morning. I just have to rig a black armband before I head up to Denver. More great news & comment on Monday. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Good Monday morning. VodkaPundit has PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 12:17:28 PM ----- BODY: Good Monday morning. VodkaPundit has a mostly cleared head now after the weekend's celebrations. Matt Drudge links to this story in the UK's Independent this morning. Apparently, the US faces a record four billion in WTO "penalties," I.E., higher import duties into the EU, over some of our tax code. If this ruling goes into affect, it could A) decrease Congress' appetite for doling out corporate welfare through the tax code, which would be a good thing; B) increase American suspicion of free trade, which would be a bad thing; or C) not really have much effect at all on anything. VodkaPundit chooses C -- and you read it here first. Free trade is good for business, good for the economy, good for everybody. And warping the tax code for big political donors -- or anyone else -- always always always leads to warped economic behavior. If four billion bucks is what it costs us to get straightened out on that score, then that's a small price to pay for yet another competitive advantage over the rest of the world. Especially over France. Ed. Note: VodkaPundit has been a Proud Member in Good Standing of the Bomb France First Crowd since 1986. Although sometimes when enjoying a nice Bourdeaux, he'd settle for simply defoliating Belgium. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Andrew Sullivan makes some rather PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 12:23:25 PM ----- BODY: Andrew Sullivan makes some rather clearheaded comments, as always, over the White House and the brewing-but-not-yet-quite-bubbling Enron scandal. Don't think he's swung my opinion (available below, last Thursday), but he does seem more hopeful than I. Then again, Andrew probably doesn't enjoy nearly as many vodka martinis. UPDATE: The more I look at the news today, the more it appears that everyone thinks the Dems are going to back off Enron for fear of looking worse than the Reps. Folks, that just ain't the way it works with business scandals. When Dems take money from Big Business, it's so they can better look after the little guy. That doesn't make sense, you say? It doesn't have to. It still usually works. When Reps take money from Big Business, it's because they're all Masons or some such secret cabal and out to take over the world. So VodkaPundit stands by his previous predictions (as opposed to "prior conviction") that this will hurt the Reps more than the Dems, but will play out pretty small. Whitewater at the biggest. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: My secret crush, Virginia Postrel, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 12:31:26 PM ----- BODY: My secret crush, Virginia Postrel, has some bitingly funny comments on Cyrus Vance, the New York Times, and obituaries -- if that last word isn't made redundant by the two names. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Quickly now, because it's old PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 12:34:00 PM ----- BODY: Quickly now, because it's old news: VodkaPundit forgot Friday to link to this brilliant, bitter Krauthammer piece. If you didn't read it Friday, read it today. And if you did, read it again. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Thomas Sowell, ya gotta love PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 01:02:50 PM ----- BODY: Thomas Sowell, ya gotta love him, has a great rant on the self-supposed moral superiority of the Blame America First/Root Cause of Hate crowd. Delovely and delcicious. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: More -- I'll put this PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 01:49:28 PM ----- BODY: More -- I'll put this delicately -- goddamn stupid idiocy against cloning on National Review Online. Wesley J Smith, speaking ex cathedra, I guess, has lots of not-so-new, not-so-well-thought-out, little "arguments." He starts: "Cloning apologists remind me of that philandering husband. Their opponents point out that a cloned human embryo is a human life, and the cloners reply with: 'Human life? What human life?'" Let's go back to the birds and bees, Wesley. Human life happens when a boy and a girl (who love each other very much and within the legal strictures of heterosexual marriage) get all hot'n'sweaty and do the nasty. Conception occurs, genes are joined, and 40 weeks later, a little baby is born. Or maybe Jesus does it all. I dunno -- I'm still not married. In any case, something that happens in a lab is certainly not human life as it has evolved (oops! I let that cat out of the bag!) over the last few million years. No, Wes, what happens in a lab is called an "experiment." Science, dig it, cool. More: "Hoping to make vast fortunes from patented "products" derived from the destruction of embryonic life, Big Biotech is counting on being able to create an unlimited supply of human clones." Unlimited human clones? Someone is going to make money peddling baby Hitlers to the mass market? Let's check just two facts here, Wesley, since your editor didn't see fit to do so. First, some of the most promising research going on in cloning is how do so without destroying any embryonic material. Hell, even those heartless, Stalin-cloning (or was it Hitler?) scientists have real ethical issues there. I don't, but I'm just a cruel drunk. Second, there is almost NO MARKET AT ALL for cloning whole humans. Really, I'm messed up enough -- do I really want an exact copy of me someday, should my fiance and I prove to be infertile? When a couple decide to make a baby, it's because they want BOTH OF THEM joined in a new person. It's the ultimate expression of very traditional love. Very old school, very conservative, Wes -- you should approve. So I ask -- who wants a carbon copy? And even if they did, what the hell business is it of Wesley J. Smith? Human cloning is going to provide things like gene treatments for major diseases, replacement parts for VodkaPundit's abused liver, and healthy normal babies for Bob and Alice for whom in vitro fertilization just wasn't working. We'll live longer, and happier, and maybe, just maybe, manage to have healthier children. I could go on and dissect the rest of the paragraphs in Wes's baby, but that seems a little like a late-term abortion. VodkaPundit gets mad sometimes. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Just finished my weekly browsing PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 02:23:12 PM ----- BODY: Just finished my weekly browsing of Salon.com's front page. Except for sometimes checking out their non-sex sex column to see if Glenn Reynolds is being too harsh (he isn't), VodkaPundit has found nothing to read there since Camile Paglia's column stopped appearing. What has happened to Camille? Was she fired? Did she quit? Sabbatical? Where is she writing now? Camille, we miss you and we're OK with you being not being interested in us because just we're a man -- so long as you keep writing us fresh columns. Come back. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: In the space of just PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 02:39:51 PM ----- BODY: In the space of just a few blogging hours today, I've admitted to crushes on both Camille Paglia and Virginia Postrel. Leaving aside the political and (for Camille) biological near-impossibility of such a threesome, I remain in good hopes that my fiance is far too sensible to ever read this blog. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Delaware Senator Joe Biden, previously PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 03:09:41 PM ----- BODY: Delaware Senator Joe Biden, previously known for stealing entire childhood episodes from British Labour politicians, makes a decent case for using US troops as peacekeepers in Afghanistan. Frankly, other than the Brits and maybe the Canadians, I don't trust anyone else with the job. But there's one little issue that keeps me from agreeing with the good senator. We're stretched too damn thin. This is a long war and when we get to dealing with Iraq it's going to be a much bigger war. The bad news is, we don't have the Army that deployed to Saudi in 1990-91. VII Corps was disbanded almost immediately after, V Corps is spread out all over southern and central Europe...hell, even our armored cav regiments have been stripped of most of their armor. The good news is, it won't take seven, eight, or nine US heavy divisions to topple Saddam. But the occupation WILL take a lot of foot soldiers. US foot soldiers. No one else can do that job. The Germans have a bad history there, the French would spend all their time simultaneously on their knees and trying to pickpocket, the Brits just don't have the manpower, don't even mention the Russians, and the Canadian military just makes people giggle. Even the Canadians. (Mark Steyn excepted -- he's mad as hell and not gonna take it any more.) So, we can't be sending our warmakers to Afghanistan to act as peacekeepers. Sorry, Joe. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Washington Post's Michael Kelly PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 04:05:37 PM ----- BODY: The Washington Post's Michael Kelly admits that "smuggled arms on a rogue ship bound for Gaza cast doubt on Arafat’s integrity." No shit, Mike? UPDATE: What is it with MSNBC, anyway? Except for when they webpublish George Will's bi-weekly Newsweek column, their op-ed page leans further left than Dan Rather dodging accusations of bias. Attention, Bill Gates -- it's 10pm; do you know where your money is going? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Last Call -- final words PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/14/2002 10:45:44 PM ----- BODY: Last Call -- final words for the night VodkaPundit would like to apologize for today's public innuendo regarding Virginia Postrel and Camille Paglia, as well as some rather unsavory-yet-delicious thoughts involving Lady Margeret Thatcher that he kept damn well to himself. It's just that my fiance left town for a week on business, and then compounded the, uh, loneliness by catching a nasty cold while in L.A. Sorry, honey. Get well soon. Meantime, if Camille, and/or Virginia, and/or Lady M happen to read this, just email me -- we can set something up. I'm down to the olive, so good night. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Larry King is in trouble PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 10:39:59 AM ----- BODY: Larry King is in trouble with his CNN colleagues for supposedly claiming his new contract offer is much bigger than it really is. VodkaPundit is going to try to care, but not very hard. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Over at the New York PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 10:52:28 AM ----- BODY: Over at the New York Times, Nicolas D. Kristof ruins a perfectly fine cup of strong Italian coffee with this lede: "One of the things that we Americans are finally waking up to since Sept. 11 is the degree to which we are disliked and resented around the world." Methinks Nicolas uses the word "we" a bit lightly. After all, murderous blood-thirsty savages like us bloggers don't care what the world thinks, we just want to nuke it all -- right? And when he speaks of himself, that "we" has always known how much the world hates the US -- almost as much as Kristof does. VodkaPundit believes the other side of the equation is far more important. Three of the things the Sept 11 follow-up taught the world is how much power the US has, how willing we are to use it, and how utterly useless our professional commentariat is. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Also at the NYT, Paul PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 10:56:20 AM ----- BODY: Also at the NYT, Paul Krugman is at it again. I'm not even going to bother with him today. Maybe not again ever. It's boring and depressing and not even VodkaPundit wants a drink this early. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Thomas Bray has a nice, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 11:09:48 AM ----- BODY: Thomas Bray has a nice, if short, piece asking, "Will Europe's new money last?" He and I and maybe even you already know the answer is "probably not," although Bray goes after what I call the soft, cultural reasons. The French just like the Euro because it got rid of the Deutschmark, the Germans like the ECB being in Frankfurt, the Italians like having a currency that's a little less comic opera than the lira, the Belgians think they'll really run the show, etc. VodkaPundit says the Euro won't for just one hard economic reason: Labor has to be exactly as mobile as a currency is widespread. Are unemployed Germans really going to move to Greece during a downturn in Germany, if Greece is where the jobs are? Hell no. It's not like a broke Texas oil worker migrating up to Oklahoma, is it? So the money supply and interest rates (the most common ways of fighting recession) will stay too high in Germany where the jobs aren't, and too low in Greece where the jobs are (in this fictional example). Germany will stay mired in recession while Greece goes into semi-ballistic inflation. Smart? Nope. Europe will figure it out -- hopefully before they Argentina. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Dan and Steve up north PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 11:20:18 AM ----- BODY: Dan and Steve up north at Happy Fun Pundit have a murderously funny take-down of Ted Rall's latest attempt at a cartoon. The only detail Dan forgot to include is that not only is Rall not funny, he also can't draw. VodkaPundit "discovered" Happy Fun Pundit last night, and now wishes to take back at least half of the nasty things he's said about Canada, Canadians, and Molson Ice. Apparently, Mark Steyn is not alone in the Land O' Moose. However, VodkaPundit reserves the right to keep making fun of the pseudo-French of Quebec, Bill Murray in The Razor's Edge, and the entire upper two-thirds of Minnesota, just to be safe. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Day Late and a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 11:28:11 AM ----- BODY: A Day Late and a Laugh Short Damn, I wish I'd remembered this yesterday, before Cyrus Vance had completely assumed room temperature. Upon being told that former president Calvin Coolidge was dead, Dorothy Parker asked, "How could they tell?" ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Whew! We only have one PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 11:34:42 AM ----- BODY: Whew! We only have one more day until the long-awaited return of The Onion. Meantime, serve yourself up a hot and steamy new bowl of Uthant. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Make sure to give Jay PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 11:42:49 AM ----- BODY: Make sure to give Jay Nordlinger's Impromptus a good reading today. You can skip the depressing child porn bit, but the opener on Helen Thomas, the closer on Cuba, and everything else in between is well worth your time. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Too bored to make a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 11:53:45 AM ----- BODY: Too bored to make a link. Jonathan Alter says some things about some stuff over at MSNBC. Nappy time. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: James Dunnigan, the smartest kid PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 12:22:03 PM ----- BODY: James Dunnigan, the smartest kid in the class on military and historical affairs, has this to say about how we won so big, so fast, in Stanland. Here's a hint: It was much more about brains than about bombs. That is, if you're willing to admit that without brains, there's no money. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Blogger was down, it's a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 03:31:37 PM ----- BODY: Blogger was down, it's a slow news day, kids, and VodkaPundit needs to pay a visit to the sick'n'snuffly VodkaFiance. Hell, even Glenn Reynolds has slowed down the pace today, and OpinionJournal Best Of the Web only got in one really lovely pun. So I'll see you at the bar tonight. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The mysterious owner of The PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 05:46:52 PM ----- BODY: The mysterious owner of The Rallying Point was good enough to give me a posting over his way, so I'd like to say thanks and return the favor. We don't know much about the good gentleman, except that he's damn funny and much better at coding HTML than yours truly. Thanks! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: John Walker, the so-called "American PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 06:03:59 PM ----- BODY: John Walker, the so-called "American Taliban," will be tried in federal court on charges of abetting terrorism. This will be a civilian trial, with full 5th Amendment rights to overblown publicity, a smart but morally corrupt and very wealthy attorney in a bad suit, and a really sweet book deal. I'd like to think that during World War II, if we found one of Our Boys wearing SS insignia, that someone would have had the kindness and sense enough to have shot him very quickly and as quietly as possible. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Last Call -- final word PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/15/2002 09:58:33 PM ----- BODY: Last Call -- final word for the night Instead of attempting something funny tonight, I'll simply point you to The Onion. They're back after Christmas vacation, still with the best satire on the web. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I didn't get in a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/16/2002 11:42:58 AM ----- BODY: I didn't get in a single good mean rant yesterday, and it looks like today will be even slower. So to keep yourself entertained, check out today's Non Sequitur. Wiley is a genius. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Over at AndrewSullivan.com, Andrew has PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/16/2002 11:57:54 AM ----- BODY: Over at AndrewSullivan.com, Andrew has a new Susan Sontag Award nominee. Uberleftwing Guardian columnist Charlotte Raven writes, "Back home in Loonsville, our misfits have two choices. Play baseball, date cheerleaders and dance in formation at parties or declare yourself a Nietzschean Übermensch, get fucked up on heroin, refuse to accept the constraints of monogamy and write songs about killing your wife." That's your typical anti-American nutjob, coming on especially strong for a Brit. However, she does make a good point about line dancing. Living in horse country, I've seen line dancers in action, which led to a new VodkaPundit Theory: Line dancing is the first step in establishing a Fascist dictatorship. Look, anytime you have a large group of people doing the exact same thing at the exact same time, it can't be good. People who line dance on Friday night will be goosestepping by Monday and lining up Jews for the ovens on Thursday. It just makes VodkaPundit ill. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's going to be another PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/17/2002 11:00:05 AM ----- BODY: It's going to be another slow posting day, kids. The good folks at Sprint are back, trying to figure out why my broadband signal keeps degrading. I hear Fixed Wireless is a really nice service. All I know is, after 13 months, mine still doesn't work. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Apologies for the lack of PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/18/2002 03:34:27 PM ----- BODY: Apologies for the lack of posts, but we're still experiencing technical difficulties. Meantime, VodkaPundit scores a big win. Allow myself to quote myself, if I may misquote Austin Powers. Way back last week, I wrote: "Tina Brown's Talk magazine is 55 million bucks in the hole. That's 19 millions dollars better than Salon.com, and with Talk, at least you got something to line the bird cage with. So which will survive? My guess is Salon will -- and you read it here first." And now Matt Drudge reports that Talk has finally been shut up. Er, shut down. Advantage: VodkaPundit. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Glenn Reynolds was good enough PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 10:10:17 AM ----- BODY: Glenn Reynolds was good enough to point us toward this Mirror editorial falsely accusing the US of torturing Afghan detainees at Gitmo. The details are so gory I almost wish they were true. According the the Geneva conventions, if an enemy officer is captured disguised in civies, you're supposed to shoot him. Remember that famous anti-war picture from Vietnam of the evil South Vietmanese officer giving the nine millimeter retirement plan to some poor schmuck? Well, that poor schmuck was a North Vietnamese officer trying to hide as a civillian -- so he got what was legally coming to him. Those Taliban are lucky we prefer to call them detainees. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Drudge links to a report PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 10:25:31 AM ----- BODY: Drudge links to a report in The Times (of London) that we bugged the hell out of the new Chinese version of Air Force One. VodkaPundit thinks that the Chinese found the bugs we wanted them to find. I'd claim you read it here first, but this is the last we'll hear about it -- if the CIA did it right, that is. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Almost Forgot: Happy MLK Day, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 10:28:14 AM ----- BODY: Almost Forgot: Happy MLK Day, kids. Remember, do not judge a man by the color of his skin, but by the content of his martini glass. If it's empty, then ask if he'd like another. And after enough martinis, we'll all feel warmth and brotherhood and hopefully forget to hate each other for idiotic reasons. I can't remember who, but years ago I heard a stand up comic say, "Racism is stupid because there are so many legitimate reasons to hate people. Like stupidity." Amen. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Today's Non Sequitur sums up PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 10:34:55 AM ----- BODY: Today's Non Sequitur sums up VodkaPundit's operating philosophy quickly and with a great chuckle. Read it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: By The Way... We'll be PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 10:41:34 AM ----- BODY: By The Way... We'll be posting from an unusual location for the next couple weeks, where we can't access the usual email link. But I do promise to catch up on all email after dark. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Bill Safire is pulling a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 10:53:29 AM ----- BODY: Bill Safire is pulling a Friedman. Thomas Friedman is another columnist over at the New York Times who is so dead-on with 90% of what he writes that the 10% crap is SO frustrating that it makes you want to pull out your hair. I can't remember who came up with that observation, but it is certainly apt. Anyway, in his column on human cloning today, Safire writes: "No to cloning tomorrow's people; yes to cloning cells that cure today's people. Because most of us agree, that will become law and policy." I wish, Bill. Bush's council is so stacked with anti-cloners that I'm afraid even petri-dish cloning of human cells will be outlawed. And as I wrote in an especially vicious rant last week (scroll down), that would be a crime. Wake up, Mr. President -- you're on the wrong side of this issue. And stop "gushing" over the President's panel, Mr. Safire; it could easily lean the wrong way. And then so could Congress. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Hey, kids -- something GOOD PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 11:02:27 AM ----- BODY: Hey, kids -- something GOOD on the New York Times op-ed page. Check out Dick Lugar's dissection of the Daschle-Harkin farm bill. Of course, just seeing "Daschle-Harkin" should tell you everything you need to know about this proposed legislation: Spendy AND preachy. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Read this. PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 11:15:16 AM ----- BODY: Read this. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Yasser Arafat says he's willing PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 01:50:52 PM ----- BODY: Yasser Arafat says he's willing to go out a martyr. C'mon, guys -- someone hand him a pistol already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This story in the Washington PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 01:56:00 PM ----- BODY: This story in the Washington Post says Russia wants to negotiate down our missile defense shield. I'm not a big fan of missile defense, although I'm sure some sort will be built. So sure, in fact, that I see only two restraints on the project: Money and technology. And nothing Russia does or says will add a third limit. You read it here first, kids. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Newsweek is offering early retirement PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 02:49:41 PM ----- BODY: Newsweek is offering early retirement to pare down salary and labor costs during the current downturn. I realize he doesn't meet the magazine's 55-year-old minimum age limit, but will someone please please please tell Jonathan Alter to look into this deal? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: In this AP story, we PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/21/2002 04:21:45 PM ----- BODY: In this AP story, we learn that Saddam Hussein is trying to figure out how to further mobilize the Iraqi people against possible US/Coalition attacks. First off, how do you further mobilize an already totally-militarized nation? Second, let's hope this means lower standards for the Republican Guards. Third, I do believe that, if successful, we'll simply get an even more target-rich environment. If that's what they're still calling it, anyway. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: An (un?)intentionally funny story in PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 10:35:37 AM ----- BODY: An (un?)intentionally funny story in The Times (of London) reports that Taliban and al Qaeda prisoners at Gitmo are being treated to Froot Loops and bagels. No wonder the granola crowd is crying abuse -- those poor souls are being denied their unalienable right to bran fiber. Question: After having Froot Loops, will any of them ever want to go back to Afghanistan or Saudi? Hell, we're even broadcasting prayers for them five times a day. When they see they can practice their religion AND get tasty sugar-based breakfast foods, I think we'll convert more than a few to the American Way of Life. After the war, VodkaPundit says you'll see expat Taliban living happily in the good ol' USA. And you read it here first, kids. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Israel is moving into Nablus PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 10:42:08 AM ----- BODY: Israel is moving into Nablus after yet another terror attack by a madman Palestinian. VodkaPundit believes this is the beginning of the end for Arafat. And the end could come even quicker than anyone reasonable thinks. It's a good thing VodkaPundit is rarely reasonable. Seriously, Arafat can't (won't) keep the peace. He doesn't know how and even if he did, he would have no interest. Even FARC down in Colombia has learned negotiation is the way to go, but Yasser is just too old school. Sure, yes, of course, Israel needs to stop tearing down Palestinian homes and stop putting up new settlements. But that pales in comparison to Arafat's war of terror. For the sake of the entire Middle East, I hope Arafat is taken out by his own people, rather than the Israelis. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Kathy Kinsley is VodkaPundit's new PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 10:49:10 AM ----- BODY: Kathy Kinsley is VodkaPundit's new Favorite Woman Other Maybe Than Kate Hepburn And Virginia Postrel Who He Isn't Actually Engaged To. How'd Kathy earn such a wonderfully simple title? By giving me a very nice notice and link on her site this morning. VodkaPundit will be returning the favor, right after this cup of coffee. Thanks, Kathy -- and may the Bellicose Women Brigade fight on! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Daily Glenn Reynolds Link. PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 10:57:00 AM ----- BODY: The Daily Glenn Reynolds Link. Our favorite InstaPundit grabbed a report this morning that Neil Bush (presidential brother) is trying to get Saudis to hire someone (ahem, cough cough) to help with their media image in this country. Glenn, remember that this is the same Bush who testified before Congress that he got a "sweetheart deal" during the S&L Mess way back when. He ain't the brightest bit o' wheat in the bushel. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Personal Note: It's a lovely PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 11:18:42 AM ----- BODY: Personal Note: It's a lovely spring-like day here in Colorado Springs. If this is global warming, I'm all in favor. Might take the catalytic converter off the Sebring and just let that baby idle for a month or three. Anyone know where to get some good CFCs? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: What's Wrong With Islam? Andrew PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 12:01:21 PM ----- BODY: What's Wrong With Islam? Andrew Sullivan led me to David Brooks' piece today on why Islam breeds so many idiots. Er, martyrs. No, wait -- idiots. I hadn't even finished the article (no jokes about attention span, please) when a thought (no jokes here, either) hit me (please, I've earned it). Islam is young -- 1,400 years versus 2,000 for Christianity and well over 5,000 for Judaism. Now, let's look at Christianity circa A.D. 1,400. Do I even have to paint much of a picture for you? Superstitious, persecutorial, all-controlling, unreformed -- and we hadn't even gotten to the delights of the Inquisition yet. So is all this bloodshed just a case of Islam being immature? Will age bring wisdom to this young, bloody-minded upstart? Time will tell. But in the meantime, we have to do two things: 1) Keep our powder dry, and; 2) Keep lots of powder. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Some very special writing from PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 12:19:40 PM ----- BODY: Some very special writing from Rick Perlstein on today's NYT op-ed page. We bloggers know that intellectual discourse -- with the sotty exception of this web site -- is alive and well and blogging away. The traditional media, writing for eighth-graders, laments the "loss" of all that high falutin' chatter. Perlstein sees the light. It's not in the papers, or most of the magazines, but it IS alive in coffee houses and weblogs and his Brooklyn neighborhood and lots of other places, too. I somewhat doubt I'd agree with much else of what Perlman, or his neighborhood buddies write, but that's hardly the point. The point is, we live in a Golden Age of discourse -- and the traditional media are mad because they've chosen to aim for the lowest common denominator. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Best of the Web today PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 12:55:49 PM ----- BODY: Best of the Web today shows us this story about how our poor detainees at Gitmo are having to take orders from female gaurds. Bellicose Women rock! And didn't Glenn Reynolds suggest something very similar to this way back in the early days of warblogging? Something about having our female soldiers kick some Islamist ass, anyway. This is just a start, kids, just a start. Culture will prove to be the biggest daisy-cutter in this war -- and from Beijing to Paris, every "street" wants a piece of American culture. UPDATE: Has VodkaPundit been especially serious today? Haven't had a proper cocktail since Saturday, so please excuse me. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I read about the loss PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 01:35:27 PM ----- BODY: I read about the loss of Peggy Lee first thing this morning, but wasn't ready to comment on it until just now. On second thought, I'm still not ready. But I will say this: Tonight I'll play my well-worn copy of her Greatest Hits, sip a lovely tumbler of Oban, and remember what it felt like the first time I heard that voice. We've lost Ella, Billie, Carmen... and now Peggy. There are none left. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: VodkaPundit scoops InstaPundit! Earlier today, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 03:42:43 PM ----- BODY: VodkaPundit scoops InstaPundit! Earlier today, I linked to Rich Perlman's NYT bit on the "loss" of intellectual discourse, and replied: "It's not in the papers, or most of the magazines, but it IS alive in coffee houses and weblogs." Now Glenn writes, "Ahem. Mr. Perlstein? You may want to visit Blogland." There is only one explaination for the scoop -- Glenn must be VERY busy today. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Peter Principle Proves Overly PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 03:56:02 PM ----- BODY: The Peter Principle Proves Overly Optimistic ABC news hottie Connie Chung has been hired away to marginally-less-annoying CNN. Connie has been promoted WAY over her level of incompetence. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Devil Incarnate... er, AOL PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 04:20:12 PM ----- BODY: The Devil Incarnate... er, AOL Time-Warner is suing Microsoft for sinking its very own Netscape Navigator web browser. Reality check, people -- AOL has the largest single base of web users (30+ million and growing) and forces each one to use MS Internet Explorer every time they log on to AOL. So excuse me, but couldn't AOL have given its own browser a big shot in the arm, simply by integrating it into AOL? Furthermore, AOL's contract with MS for Explorer ran out months ago -- yet they haven't replaced it with Navigator. Is this a nuisance suit? Is it public stupidity? Is Steve Case downing more vodka martinis than VodkaPundit? CONSPIRACY THEORY UPDATE: Could a far-sighted Herr Case have bought heavily-discounted Netscape all those years ago so that he might someday win a triple-damages anti-trust lawsuit against Microsoft? Worth pondering. CONSPIRACY UPDATE UPDATE: Think about this... not only was Netscape stock cheap when AOL picked it up (Netscape was already losing to MS) but AOL hasn't exactly put a lot of money into it. They barely even did their own programming for Navigator 6, since it was all done open source. And AOL certainly didn't spend any money integrating the new or old browsers into AOL software. So it's not like they'll lose much if this suit doesn't pan out. An acceptable risk? As Les Nesman once said, "Conspiracy? I wonder..." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: From the I Should Have PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 06:35:26 PM ----- BODY: From the I Should Have Caught This Yesterday Department: The drumbeat started with William Saleten in Slate a week or two ago, arguing that Bush is a good war leader because, well, he's dumb as a brick. A couple other writers have taken similar tacks since and before then. Now, I'm not here to boost the President's IQ any more than I am to boost the Raven's Superbowl chances, but there's a piece from the Sunday New York Times that I really wish I hadn't been too hungover to find in a more timely manner. In the Week In Review, David E. Sanger writes, "In retrospect, what made President Bush so effective in the weeks after Sept. 11 was exactly the characteristic that lent itself to parody in the months before — his proclivity to describe the world in black-and-white terms." Black and white -- in other words, simple. As in "simpleton." VodkaPundit will wager an entire evening of vodka martinis that the following becomes the post-war left wing mantra: "OK, Bush was the right guy for the war, but fighting the peace isn't simple, it's quite complex and so now we need a smart guy like a Leiberman or Gore." And the Left won't even wait until the end of the war -- just long enough after the current campaign that they can still seem patriotic. Remember, you read it here first, kids. Any takers on the bet? UPDATE: Extremely Smart Person Fred Boness writes in with, "When I read this in your blog I thought it described exactly Churchill losing to Atlee in the closing days of WWII." Fred is exactly right, and that thought was no where anything like near my brain. Now, I don't belong to either major party, but I'd rather keep W in 2004 than any Democrat likely to win the nomination. So that leaves the question: Is Bush more able to turn a war win into a political win than was Churchill? Meantime, a raised glass to Mr. Boness -- the VodkaPundit Salute! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Those wacky kids over at PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 07:19:48 PM ----- BODY: Those wacky kids over at Libertarian Samizdata were kind/silly (pick one) enough to grant a permalink to yours truly. Thanks, guys -- now get back to work! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Worrysome stuff from Nat Hentoff PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 07:37:02 PM ----- BODY: Worrysome stuff from Nat Hentoff that's well worth three minutes of your time. Why am I the only libertarian blogger linking this? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Last Call When CNN makes PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/22/2002 07:58:23 PM ----- BODY: Last Call When CNN makes the promo for whatever Connie Chung's new show turns out to be, I think it would be in bad taste to use that zipper noise again like they did with Paula Zahn. But how about a dub of Ross Perot saying something about "that giant sucking sound"? Just a thought. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Jesse Jackson will be in PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 10:12:54 AM ----- BODY: Jesse Jackson will be in Houston Friday, to lead Enron workers in protest over... something, I guess. Perhaps not enough black workers lost their life savings. No word on how a bankrupt Enron will come up with enough cash to make Jackson go away. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Daniel Silliman, who I presume PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 10:23:54 AM ----- BODY: Daniel Silliman, who I presume is an Objectivist, has started a new blog called The Atlas Society. At first glance, I'd say Daniel could use a stiff shot of 80 proof medicinal ethanol, but his site could be worth keeping an eye on. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Matt Drudge is usually good PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 10:29:19 AM ----- BODY: Matt Drudge is usually good for an unintentional laugh or three. Today, he links to a gorgeous AP story. In it, former Israeli PM Ehud Barak claims Yasser Arafat "maybe" really be a terrorist. In a further development, he also accuses fellow former PM Bibi Netenyahu of "sometimes breathing air." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: John Walker "Paul" Lindh returned PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 10:40:14 AM ----- BODY: John Walker "Paul" Lindh returned to the US today aboard a military plane. There are no confirmed reports whether he will accept an offered visiting professor position at Berkeley next fall. OK, OK -- I promise to cut down on the easy one-liners and get back to what passes for analysis in this gin joint. But not until after the extra-large Lightnote Blend kicks in. And if that doesn't work, we're gonna go straight to freebasing Folger's Crystals. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Thanks to the good people PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 10:45:27 AM ----- BODY: Thanks to the good people over at Libertarian Samizdata for linking this this Jerusalem Post story about new battles between Hizbullah and the IDF on Israel's northern border. As VodkaPundit opined just this week, the latest series of rows between Hamas/Hizbullah/etc and Israel could be the beginning of the end for Arafat. And if these battles continue to grow as reported in stories like these, then someone is gonna owe me a drink. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Back to Samizdata again for PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 10:55:35 AM ----- BODY: Back to Samizdata again for a moment. VodkaPundit is pleased to report that not only is their Croatian correspondant Natalija Radic recovering nicely from her nasty bout with the flu, but her pictures are back up on the site. VodkaPundit is a leg man, a very happily engaged leg man at that. But Natalija... well, scoot on over and you'll see. Seriously, get well Natalija. And like your comrades at LS, keep up the great work. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: As usual,Tom Friedman makes some PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 11:09:27 AM ----- BODY: As usual,Tom Friedman makes some cogent points about Arab denial and hatred of the west in the NYT this morning. Friedman worries that even after our unqualified military success, educated, worldly Arabs still deny Osama -- or any Muslim -- could have pulled off the 9/11 attacks. VodkaPundit needs to ask -- does it really matter if they believe us, so long as they fear us? Will future Talibans in any country give the kind of support al Qaeda got in Stanland, knowing that we can make them dead or on the lam in three months flat? It would be nice if the Arab street started dealing with, well, reality. It would certainly make the world safer -- including for Arabs. But so long as they fear us, that's a pretty good second choice. And so long as the Arab world, to paraphrase Ralph Peters, fails to cope with modernity, we'll have to settle for that second choice. The coffee must be kicking in. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Today's Glenn Reynolds Link Department. PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 11:15:19 AM ----- BODY: Today's Glenn Reynolds Link Department. Glenn has a great piece today on Tech Central Station -- a worthy site, even without Reynolds work. Anyway, he looks at Leon Kass' bioethics panel, and doesn't exactly give it a thumbs up. VodkaPundit has gone on at least two vicious rants in this space against Federal bars on cloning and stem cell research. Maybe because VodkaPundit Sr might still be alive today if it weren't for those fucking unqualified babysitters at the FDA. Anyway, go read Glenn's column. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: More snide stupidity from Maureen PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 12:02:26 PM ----- BODY: More snide stupidity from Maureen Dowd as expected. Dowd attempts to make fun of the Bush administration for looking/feeling all victorious for the, uh, victory in Afghanistan. She writes, "I hesitate to interrupt the victory laps, the chesty posing, the passing out of medals. But something in me really wants to know: Is the war over? Did we win it or not?" Apparently, Ms Dowd doesn't understand that it's OK to celebrate a victorious battle before the war is over. Did the Russians not celebrate destroying the entire German 6th Army at Stalingrad, more than two years before the end of WWII? Did we not celebrate Gettysburg? Did the Japanese not clap after Pearl Harbor? Maureen, you're too stupid to pour piss out of a boot -- even if the directions how were written on the heel. The Administration has earned this moment. And thankfully, I think they're all aware enough to understand that this glow is just a moment -- and that tougher battles in this long war loom ahead. Hopefully, our success will be as thorough as Grant's over the South or Zhukov's over Das Reich, and not fleeting like the Japanese Combined Fleet at Pearl Harbor. But in the meantime, our armed forces and, yes, President Bush & Co deserve a self-pat on the back and an atta boy. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: From the AP, the world's PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 12:21:08 PM ----- BODY: From the AP, the world's oldest woman turned 115 today. However, we're still unsure what to get her, since an Amazon.com birthday Wish List search yielded no results for Helen Thomas. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Hot Out of Modesto: The PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 01:08:26 PM ----- BODY: Hot Out of Modesto: The Modesto Bee reports that DNC chairman Tony Coelho has turned on Gary Condit. This should come as no surprise, since most anything with a pulse turns on Condit. Seriously, though... I think I am serious. No really -- Coelho says it's a damned shame that Condit "decided to run again," but apparently had nothing to say about the possibly murderous reasons why that would not be such a good thing. Damn, I love political courage! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: My second-favorite blog, Best of PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 01:14:43 PM ----- BODY: My second-favorite blog, Best of the Web, has this snippet: "'Terrorist "refugees" from Osama Bin Laden's al-Qaeda group are being given shelter in Syria and Syrian-occupied Lebanon,' Israel's Aretz Sheva TV News reports, citing Maj.-Gen. Aharon Ze'evi, head of Israel's defense intelligence agency." Assad may be as close to the ash-heap of history as VodkaPundit thinks Arafat is. Time to let the Israelis off the leash? And no, I'm NOT asking Colin Powell. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: USS Clueless proves once again PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 01:39:31 PM ----- BODY: USS Clueless proves once again that the blogs are smarter and better informed than most of the pros. Click the link then scroll down to "Stardate 20020122.1103" to see what I mean. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: My friends over on the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 01:49:16 PM ----- BODY: My friends over on the limp-wristed side of libertarianism need to read this. Meantime, two cheers for a muscular, libertarian foreign policy! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: News first rumored over at PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 02:01:15 PM ----- BODY: News first rumored over at InstaPundit has proved sadly true. Those of us who beleive in a limited state lost one of our true heros today with the death of Harvard's Robert Nozick. I first discovered him my freshman year at the University of Missouri-Columbia, digging into his book Anarchy, State and Utopia, with that zeal for ideas possessed by every young convert to libertarianism. Yesterday the world of music lost Peggy Lee. Today the world of ideas lost one of its most musical writers. Robert Nozick will be missed. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The New York Daily News PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 02:55:35 PM ----- BODY: The New York Daily News claims that a famous TV-movie producer will be making a Rudi G bioflick. No word yet on casting the ex-mayor, although he could always play the role himself. However, casting for the Twin Towers will reportedly be filled out by Pamela Anderson. I swear to Whomever I'll try to get away from the Leno-type stuff tomorrow. Just feeling silly and giddy today. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Funniest Thing Said All Week PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 03:10:18 PM ----- BODY: Funniest Thing Said All Week Department Will Vehrs' print edition of PunditWatch starts off with this: "Of those columnists who do not specialize in foreign policy, Punditwatch notes that only Charles Krauthammer has not commented on the [Enron] scandal. That may only be because declaring war and invading Enron is not feasible." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Thanks to Sitemeter, I can PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/23/2002 03:26:55 PM ----- BODY: Thanks to Sitemeter, I can report that someone has been cruising VodkaPundit via ca.gov -- that's the California state government network, kids. So remind me later to have two cocktails, then savagely rip into my former residence. There's just something wrong about a state that requires you to fill out environmental impact statements in triplicate before taking a leak. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Strong Wake-Up Coffee Department We PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 10:18:09 AM ----- BODY: Strong Wake-Up Coffee Department We woke up to this lede in a World Tribune story: "Western diplomatic sources said Al Qaida insurgents have infiltrated the West Bank and Gaza Strip in an effort to determine whether the movement should make the Palestinian areas into their new home. The sources said Al Qaida appears to prefer the Gaza Strip over more distant locations such as Somalia." VodkaPundit started saying Monday that Arafat's end was going to come sooner rather than later -- and perhaps sooner than most reasonable people would think. If this report is true, then the Palestinian Authority has become the new Taliban, i.e. the new national host of al Qaida. If that's the case, then they should be treated in exactly the same way. Don't worry about Yasser pulling a Mullah Omar routine and escaping. We won't be trying to stop his escape with 1,000 mile carrier air sorties and local tribal warriors. Oh, no. We'll have the entire Israeli Defense Force on our side. Well, minus whatever they need to keep a very watchful eye on the Syrian front. Just enough to make sure Little Assad Junior remembers why he doesn't want to play host to al Qaida. Mr. Arafat, don't even bother to pack -- you ain't going nowhere. This isn't Jordan, this isn't Beirut, and it certainly isn't Tunis. It's WWIII, and you're on the wrong side. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: John Walker "Paul" Lindh, that PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 10:27:39 AM ----- BODY: John Walker "Paul" Lindh, that wacky center square of Doc Martin Mujahadin, appeared in federal court today and claimed to understand the charges against him. Lindh impressed reporters by speaking coherently and not shooting lightning out of his eyeballs. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If no one else has PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 10:40:08 AM ----- BODY: If no one else has yet, I'd like to claim credit for coining the phrase "Doc Martin Mujahadin" to describe John Walker "Paul" Lindh. A vodka martini to any reader who can disprove my claim with an earlier reference. Also, as many as six kudos. Also, I do believe VodkaPundit is the first to have made a running Paul Lind (you youngsters won't get it) joke out of the traitor. And you doubted I really drink. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This story in the Orlando PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 10:43:50 AM ----- BODY: This story in the Orlando Sun-Sentinel claims Janet Reno, in her bid for Florida governor, has little support even in die-hard Democrat Broward County. And even less support outside the tall, furry, and square-jawed segment of the transvestite caucus. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Today's Random Geopolitical Thought: Pick PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 10:56:10 AM ----- BODY: Today's Random Geopolitical Thought: Pick up a copy of Robert Kaplan's The Coming Anarachy. Not only is it a scary-yet-comforting (or is that comforting-yet-scary?) look into the near future, but it's a damn well-written travelogue into some of the places our armed forces might soon be wandering. The reason I mention it, however, is this: We're now hearing stories of how China is getting involved in Afghanistan. Not too worrysome by itself, but you should take a look at the whole China picture. They lay claim still to Tawain, to the Spratley Islands, and probably the nice half of Siberia. In addition, they want to play the Great Game in Central Asia and build a military with a truly global reach. But I'm not losing any sleep. Hell, I barely give China a thought. Yeah, they can cause us some trouble short-term, and maybe even kill a whole lot of their Taiwanese brethren. These are things we need to prepare for and discourage. But long term, China is not a problem. Why not? Well, Kaplan tells us that the future of real military power isn't about the nice Tom Clancy gadgets, but about culture. The ability not just to think up and build the shiny new toys, but to deploy them creatively, to combine them freely with global information in order to use them effectively, etc. The future of the military is about speed, decisiveness, and creativity -- not in Soviet-era five year building plans for the latest T-80 variant. There's only one big-league country that can do all that. And it ain't China. OK, we'll go back to the news now. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: She drinks single-malt Scotch, can PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 11:19:08 AM ----- BODY: She drinks single-malt Scotch, can quote Patton at length, and knows the real value of Charmin. For that, Dropscan's lovely Shiloh Blucher gets a well-earned spot in our Permalinks over there on the left. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Fed Honcho Alan Greenspan predicts PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 11:37:02 AM ----- BODY: Fed Honcho Alan Greenspan predicts the recession will soon end. Says, "in the long run, we'll all be rich." OK, so I made up that last part. Screw Keynes, anyway. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I seriously dig this Telegraph PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 11:41:50 AM ----- BODY: I seriously dig this Telegraph UK story. Says Israeli tanks all but have Arafat in a "checkmate." Then lines about "inching closer" to his Ramallah HQ. It's almost time for VodkaPundit to pat himself on the back again. Next guilty pleasure: Picking apart the NYT op-ed page. Stay tuned. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You go, Andrew! Andrew Sullivan PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 12:04:22 PM ----- BODY: You go, Andrew! Andrew Sullivan continues to rip new ones all over the place in regards to Enron. But my favorite jabs are in the general direction of Bill Kristol. Those idiot "National Greatness" Republicans over at The Weekly Standard are about two goose-steps away from being just another Pat Buchanan. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Congruent Forces: Last Friday, Krauthammer PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 12:34:12 PM ----- BODY: Congruent Forces: Last Friday, Krauthammer wrote that, during wars that matter, Americans are "immune to casualties." It's what Kennedy meant when he talked about paying any price and bearing and burden to protect freedom. Now word comes from the UK that Britons overwhelmingly support US treatment of detainees at Gitmo, no matter what lies their left-liberal press tries to spoon-feed them. These two snippets help explain why VodkaPundit unashamedly calls England "the Mother Country." Most of my forefathers got their asses kicked by Brits at one time or another. Hell, some of us got kicked out of England itself -- literally 86ed from the entire country. And yet I hold no grudge against the UK, even though I'm famous for doing so for even the slightest slight. Why? I could pay the usual lip service in thanks to England for inventing modern individual liberty, but that's not it. Not all of it, anyway. I think, instead, the most important thing we mongrel Americans have kept from our pasty-white cousins is character. The same Jack Bull stubbornness that produced the Magna Carta, that created, endured, then got rid of Oliver Cromwell, that made for such hearty pioneers who first dared tame North America, that stood up to Napoleon when no one else would, that lost an entire generation of young men rather than see the Continent under the Kaiser's fist, that survived the Blitz, and that lost an Empire while keeping a stiff upper lip. These are the reasons I love the Britons. Except for one more. In the last eighty years, the Brits have watched their upstart younger cousins first grow as strong, then far stronger, than themselves. The French sneered at us. The Germans did worse. And everyone else resented us at best. But not the Brits. Through every crisis from the Berlin Airlift through the Present Mess, they have stood with us shoulder to shoulder -- even when their elites told them not to. And it is that strength of character we inherited from them which will allow us to prevail in the new global war. Thank you, Britain. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I think everyone is linking PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 12:54:51 PM ----- BODY: I think everyone is linking to Bill Safire's column today, and with damn good reason. If you haven't read it yet, then do so. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Brilliant writing by... someone over PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/24/2002 01:35:17 PM ----- BODY: Brilliant writing by... someone over at Strategy Page (it's an unsigned bit). If you want to find out how military intelligence interrogations really work, then read this. But by all means do not read it if you are a member of the US or UK press. Oops -- they've managed to studiously ignore this kind of thing for sixty years. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Sorry for the slow post PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/25/2002 10:19:37 AM ----- BODY: Sorry for the slow post pace yesterday, but I wrote (what I think were) a couple of real quality pieces and wanted people to see those easily, rather than scrolling through the usual long collection of notes, asides, and bad gags. I promise to get back to being funny and useless today. While I try to wake up with a seriously powerful cup of Starbuck's Yukon Blend and catch up with the headlines, why don't you scroll down to "Congruent Forces" and then past that to "Today's Random Geopolitical Thought." I promise neither one is too heavy for before lunch. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Sarge Stryker is back from PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/25/2002 11:01:16 AM ----- BODY: Sarge Stryker is back from wherever he was, and with a vengeance. If he keeps up at this rate, he'll make Glenn Reynolds look like Cal Coolidge. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: More smarts from Victor Davis PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/25/2002 11:51:07 AM ----- BODY: More smarts from Victor Davis Hanson in today's National Review Online. Check this out: "Rarely do our scholars, pundits, and social commentators apologize for completely getting it wrong about their earlier admonitions during the last four months — misjudging the Arab street, the Afghan winter, the Northern Alliance, fighting during Ramadan, U.S. air power, etc." It only gets better from there, leading to a stirring conclusion: "Should there be a thousand traitorous Johnny Walkers in detention, the minutiae of their cases should not warrant more concern than would the life of a single Marine." Click this link and read the whole thing. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Washington Times reports we're PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/25/2002 01:02:43 PM ----- BODY: The Washington Times reports we're slapping sanctions on China because -- one mo' time -- they're exporting components for WMDs. (That's weapons of mass destruction, kids. Nukes, Bio, Chem = NBC or WMD.) Anyway, don't bother to read this yawner. Instead, truck over to Amazon and pick up a copy of Gordon Chang's The Coming Collapse of China. This book has been my bedside reading all week, and it's part of what led to yesterday's minidissertation on a similar subject. Chang's writing isn't the most supple, but he paints a convincing picture. Namely, that China's refusal to truly reform their banks, coupled with what's going to be their first real competition -- thanks to the WTO -- means a short, unhappy future for the Chinese Communist Party. VodkaPundit says China won't go the warlord route. Not quite, anyway. But when the center in Beijing collapses -- and it will -- no new center will quickly arise to replace it. We'll see competing governments, ala Tapei vs Beijing, only writ much, much larger. Catch up on your Robert D. Kaplan and Ralph Peters over at Parameters for a more brutal, much better written glimpse into the future. Sorry for not having the links, but I won't have access to those until this evening. UPDATE: Here's that Ralph Peters link over at Parameters. In case you're not familiar, Parameters is a quarterly publication of the US Army War College. Don't think Rambo, think Thucydides. Very smart stuff. You can also find Peters' superb fiction on Amazon. Same goes for Kaplan's non-fiction. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The I Give Up Making PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/25/2002 01:18:19 PM ----- BODY: The I Give Up Making Fun of Jesse Because Other People Do It So Much Better Department: For the sake of all that is unholy, click on over to Happy Fun Pundit for the best take down of Jesse Jackson since his mistress sued his ass last year. Best line? "All your profit are belong to us!" You ancient gamers got a kick out of that one, anyway. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's time for VodkaPundit to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/25/2002 08:23:00 PM ----- BODY: It's time for VodkaPundit to get down to the serious weekend drinking. Also, the VodkaFiance is demanding fettuccine Alfredo -- and no one makes it better than yours truly. Enjoy the weekend, kids. See you bright and not-so-early Monday. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I usually refuse to post PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/27/2002 01:59:37 PM ----- BODY: I usually refuse to post on weekends, but this site deserves to be linked immediately. A raised glass to Next Right! And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go play with the cat and watch the Rams. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: One Last Sunday Post Department PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/27/2002 03:22:56 PM ----- BODY: One Last Sunday Post Department David Carr at Libertarian Samizdata has a brilliant reply to my "Congruent Forces" piece from Thursday. My favorite bit: "These are the values breathed into America by the great English and Scottish enlightenment and it is why Americans like Stephen Green rightly call us The Mother Country, for the 'American Revolution' was not so much a revolution as a Civil War between the rebels trying to champion those ideas and their imperial rulers whose persistant continental wars had so wounded them." Carr argues in the same vein that Britons are being systematically denied their heritage of liberty by Europhiles and New Labour. For some real lyricism far sweeter than anything I wrote, check out his concluding paragraph. Just read the whole thing. The Rams are up 10-3. I'm going back to the game now. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Oldest Joke Department TV "psychic" PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 10:06:49 AM ----- BODY: Oldest Joke Department TV "psychic" Miss Cleo has been ordered to stop calling unhappy customers, pressuring them into paying disputed bills. OK, everyone say it with me: You'd think she'd have seen this coming. The Borscht Belt will never die. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Maybe I Was Wrong After PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 10:12:47 AM ----- BODY: Maybe I Was Wrong After All Yowza. The Telegraph UK just fogged up my monitor with a hot little report on Enron. Says, "office affairs were rampant, divorce among senior executives an epidemic, and stories of couples steaming up glass-walled offices after late-night meetings were the talk of Houston." I've been saying all along that this, ahem, affair would play out worse for the Republicans -- but now it's sounding more like Clinton redux. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Worse Than I Thought PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 10:16:24 AM ----- BODY: It's Worse Than I Thought My latest Google hit came off the search for "Connie," "Chung," and "hottie." You people are as bad as me. I love you all. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Never Put Off Until Tomorrow PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 10:33:13 AM ----- BODY: Never Put Off Until Tomorrow What Can Be Put Off Until The Day After Tomorrow I keep forgetting to permalink the mighty USS Clueless. The good captain Steve, who has a truly fine first name, helms an excellent ship. Bookmark him. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It took longer than I'd PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 10:45:24 AM ----- BODY: It took longer than I'd hoped, but James Taranto of Best of the Web has finally posted his readers suggestions for new silly lawsuits. Oh, and some Simpsons humor, too. Check it out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Over on Strategy Page, Steven PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 11:03:49 AM ----- BODY: Over on Strategy Page, Steven Cole files this report on the Russian Navy. Oh boy, the Russians laid down the keel of the first of ten tiny little ships? This isn't the yawner you think it is. In fact, it's as vital to your future almost as much as it is to Russia's. For much of the last sixty years, Russia has been trying to play the superpower game. But they were sadly underequipped. You know the reason: An economy just too damn small to support power projection. Hell, even during the heady days of the '70s, when Soviet power was apparently at its apex, they couldn't properly project real power any further than Magdeburg, East Germany. Sure, their diplomats were scoring points all over Africa. They even rented out the Cuban Army to fight in Angola (in an odd historical twist, one of our big oil companies, Unocal, I think, was helping to finance the Marxists in that war. And the South Africans were good guys. Go figure. Anyway...). Real power projection requires a blue water navy. That means big ships, especially aircraft carriers. Carriers allow you to bomb anyone, anywhere, and on fairly short notice. While our Air Force was still struggling to set up one base in Kraplekistan, hte Navy was already pounding targets in Kabul. The Soviets tried to build a carrier, but the best they could do was a ski-jump looking thing that launched obsolete-at-the-time YAK-38s. Sad, really. It made the Charles de Gaulle look fearsome. The only things that kept the Soviets in the superpower game were a shitload of SS-18s and -25s, and Eighth Guards Tank Army sitting opposite the Fulda Gap. 8th GTA is now disbanded and the nuclear-tipped missiles are either rusting away or were negotiated away. So what's the big deal about the Russian Navy ordering ten little corvettes for coastal patrol duty? Easy -- ten tiny ships aren't one big one. The Russians have finally recognized that, at least for the middle term, they're out of the game. That implies that they also see that they can either play the game our way, or remain backwards, broke, and broken. And it looks like for the first time in a long time, the Russians are doing something right. I hope so -- they've suffered enough. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Screw You, Too, NYT An PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 11:14:44 AM ----- BODY: Screw You, Too, NYT An unsigned NYT editorial lambasts Bush for doing little for the environment. First, maybe they ought to blame Clinton for all that dust in Manhattan the last four months. Second... ...the environment? People, there's a war on. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Can't We Put Aside Stupid PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 11:45:10 AM ----- BODY: Can't We Put Aside Stupid Agendas And Just Think Department Bill Safire has his usual well-reported and well-reasoned take on the whole POW/unlawful combatant flap over at the State Department. The solution is simple: al Qaeda officers are unlawful combatants and may legally be shot out of spite. But no matter how much we'd be in our rights to do so, we should not shoot them -- they're too valuable as intelligence sources. al Qaeda foot soldiers, on the other hand (pun intended) are pretty much like enlisted guys everywhere -- powerless, uninformed, just following orders. Treat them as POWs and look nice to the idiots over in Europe. Officer = unlawful combatant, little guy = POW. Got that? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: "Ecuador Plane Missing with 92 PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 11:50:29 AM ----- BODY: "Ecuador Plane Missing with 92 People on Board," Enron executives questioned. OK, so I made up the second part. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Fight the Fascists at Home, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 12:01:34 PM ----- BODY: Fight the Fascists at Home, Too Just when you thought AG John Ashcroft couldn't get more annoying or useless, he's ordered "nude" statues at the Justice Department covered. For months, I've said the only reason worth watching an Ashcroft press conference is the off chance of catching sight of a lone aluminum breast. And literally, that's all there is to see. But Pompous John of the Bible Belt is tired of being associated with a really well-formed, presumably very firm breast. So he ordered drapes for it. Do I have to remind him, too, that there's a damned war on? UPDATE: Shall we start a pool over how long it will take before my first Google hit using the keywords, "Ashcroft," "firm," and "breast?" ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I know it is Glenn PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 12:39:59 PM ----- BODY: I know it is Glenn Reynolds' sacred duty to scoop all other bloggers all the time, but did InstaPundit have to beat VodkaPundit on this story? MSNBC reports that alcohol may ward off Alzeimers. If that's the case, why can't I ever remember where I left my drink? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: VodkaPundit has long admired the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 03:13:00 PM ----- BODY: VodkaPundit has long admired the Bush family's devotion to their friends. But the time has come for CIA head George Tenet to go. Really, September 11 was reason enough to sack Tenet, but check out this new revelation from the Washington Post, courtesy of Best of the Web: "This has bin Laden all over it," Tenet said to Boren. "I've got to go." He had another reaction in the first few minutes, one that raised the possibility that the FBI and the CIA had not done all that they could to prevent the terrorist attacks from taking place. "I wonder," Tenet was overheard to say, "if it has anything to do with this guy taking pilot training." He was referring to Zacarias Moussaoui, who had been detained in August after attracting suspicion when he sought training at a Minnesota flight school. Keep in mind, this was minutes after the WTC attack. In other words, the very top guy at the CIA knew personally of the Moussaoui case, but did nothing about it. Not a goddamn thing. If we can hold accountable the former Afghan government for hosting al Qaeda, then we can -- must -- hold accountable those in our government who missed their chance to stop the attack. Heads must roll, Mr. President. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Random Thought The "civilized" world PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 03:29:09 PM ----- BODY: Random Thought The "civilized" world -- you know, those useless Belgians and whatnots -- is upset about our prisoners at Gitmo not because of how we're treating them. They're mad because they know that if those were our people, we'd have successfully rescued them by now in some daring around-the-world raid. And because no country in Europe has half that ability. So in all seriousness, allow VodkaPundit to say "Neener." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Will Warren, the poet laureate PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 03:36:59 PM ----- BODY: Will Warren, the poet laureate of the blogscene, has done it again. Take that, Jonah Goldberg! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: OK, Jonah Goldberg is off PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 03:45:55 PM ----- BODY: OK, Jonah Goldberg is off the hook today for his brilliant G-File post this afternoon. Sometimes, that man just nails it. UPDATE: You might be wondering what hook Jonah got off of today. Well. We libertarians, even the small-l variety, distrust the G-File Man because he simply (and on purpose) refuses to understand, or even properly describe, our beliefs. And we get especially wary when he uses the word "libertarian" in his stories -- it automatically increases the sensitivity of our Cringometers. Anyway, today Jonah wrote a great bit and managed to use the L-word without me feeling any sudden need to throw my mouse at the screen. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: In a post last week, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 04:13:09 PM ----- BODY: In a post last week, VodkaPundit made some rather un-PC remarks about the, uh, amplitude of brilliant LS contributor Natalija Radic's chestal region. In fact, I did so at the disparagement of her legs. New photographic evidence refutes my prior statement, and an apology is in order. Natalija, I'm sorry. I was wrong -- you have amazing legs. And for the record, my just-as-sweetly-shaped fiance now says she hates you. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: One of my favorite subjects PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 09:07:20 PM ----- BODY: One of my favorite subjects of scorn, those bastards at the FDA, are still being bastards according to drug companies in this Wall Street Journal Story. In no surprise to anyone who watches the industry, the FDA bastards have slowed down the drug "approval" process. So it takes longer -- and costs more money -- to get life-saving, life-prolonging, life-improving drugs to market. All in the name of protecting the helpless consumer from the all-evil, predatory, malicious drug industry. Now, let's look at this rationally for once. Executives at drug companies owe their livelihoods to saving your life. If the drugs don't work, they don't get sold. If the drugs are deadly, the drug companies get sued into the Stone age. FDA bastards owe their livelihoods to avoiding bad headlines. One case of one drug hurting one person can ruin a bureaucrat's entire career, so it pays for him to delay making a decision. But the poor slob who died because a better drug wasn't yet approved doesn't make the headlines at all -- it's not news when a drug that's not on the market doesn't do a job it hasn't been approved for yet. You've never seen in the paper, "Air Traffic Controller Forgets to Tell Airplane It's Safe to Land, Plane Lands Safely." Says Fred Hanssan of Pharmacia in the WSJ story, "We are now beginning to see some new innovations that are approved earlier in Europe than in the U.S. This drug lag is not good." That's right, folks -- the Brusselscrats are jumping ahead of us in medicine. It's a good thing we don't have an FCA to approve new computer chips -- we'd be blogging on 386s. New 386s. FULL DISCLOSURE: VodkaPundit lost his father to a blood clot. At the time, the FDA bastards were keeping a superior blood-thinning agent off the market. The drug in question had been proven 99% safe, but those bastards at the FDA still chose to sit on their hands and wait for more data. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: How The Left Was Evil PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/28/2002 09:17:03 PM ----- BODY: How The Left Was Evil Tom Tomorrow, writing on the Enron Mess, concludes with: "Villainy, fraud, sex, death and a stonewalling White House. You think this thing is just going to blow over? Excuse me while I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes." [Italics mine] Let's get this straight. Tom gets a good giggle -- no, a tear-inducing belly laugh -- out of what he thinks is a murder. Think I'm exaggerating? Read this snippet from the same post: "We've got at least one mysterious death--the apparent suicide of a former Enron executive who, from all reports, had nothing to hide, but was expected to be a major whistleblower in the case. " Yeah, Tom doesn't have the stones to come right out and say it, but he clearly implies murder, coroner's report to the contrary. And he thinks murder is pretty damn funny when it furthers his objective of embarrassing the President. Remember the video of Osama laughing at the deaths of 2,800 Americans when those deaths furthered his political objectives? Is his mindset really that different from Mr. Tomorrow's? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: All Your George Are Belongening PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 10:19:17 AM ----- BODY: All Your George Are Belongening To Us You've got to read The Chronicles of George. Whether you are or are not a techweasel, this is funny, funny stuff. I damn near wet myself. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The lovely and talented Kathy PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 10:33:31 AM ----- BODY: The lovely and talented Kathy Kinsey of On The Third Hand is getting into the blogverse business. And quite nicely, too. But then again, I've always been partial to women who sing about me. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Has She Ever Downed PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 11:05:07 AM ----- BODY: But Has She Ever Downed That Stuff With Vodka? Florida Governor Jeb Bush's daughter Noelle was busted today for prescription fraud. Let's see... she's got political connections, a great tan, is a babe, and can get me endless Vicodin. What am I doing in Colorado again? One of these days, my fiance is going to kick my ass. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Has She Ever Downed PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 11:05:07 AM ----- BODY: But Has She Ever Downed That Stuff With Vodka? Florida Governor Jeb Bush's daughter Noelle was busted today for prescription fraud. Let's see... she's got political connections, a great tan, is a babe, and can get me endless Vicodin. What am I doing in Colorado again? One of these days, my fiance is going to kick my ass. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why I Love Arizona, Other PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 11:13:55 AM ----- BODY: Why I Love Arizona, Other Than The Phrase "But It's a Dry Heat" City Officials in Lake Havagoodtime... er, Havasu, Arizona want to take custody of a two ton statue of Lady Margaret Thatcher. The Brits built the thing, but it can't go up in the House of Commons until the Iron Lady has been dead five years. And if she has her way, that will be four years and 364 days after Hell freezes over. Roadtrip to Arizona with me, anyone? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why I Love Arizona, Other PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 11:13:55 AM ----- BODY: Why I Love Arizona, Other Than The Phrase "But It's a Dry Heat" City Officials in Lake Havagoodtime... er, Havasu, Arizona want to take custody of a two ton statue of Lady Margaret Thatcher. The Brits built the thing, but it can't go up in the House of Commons until the Iron Lady has been dead five years. And if she has her way, that will be four years and 364 days after Hell freezes over. Roadtrip to Arizona with me, anyone? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I'm re-posting here something I PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 11:22:55 AM ----- BODY: I'm re-posting here something I wrote late last night, just to make sure plenty of people read it. What I found made my blood boil, and it should yours, too. How The Left Was Evil Tom Tomorrow, writing on the Enron Mess, concludes with: "Villainy, fraud, sex, death and a stonewalling White House. You think this thing is just going to blow over? Excuse me while I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes." [Italics mine] Let's get this straight. Tom gets a good giggle -- no, a tear-inducing belly laugh -- out of what he thinks is a murder. Think I'm exaggerating? Read this snippet from the same post: "We've got at least one mysterious death--the apparent suicide of a former Enron executive who, from all reports, had nothing to hide, but was expected to be a major whistleblower in the case. " Yeah, Tom doesn't have the stones to come right out and say it, but he clearly implies murder, coroner's report to the contrary. And he thinks murder is pretty damn funny when it furthers his objective of embarrassing the President. Remember the video of Osama laughing at the deaths of 2,800 Americans when those deaths furthered his political objectives? Is his mindset really that different from Mr. Tomorrow's? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I'm re-posting here something I PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 11:22:55 AM ----- BODY: I'm re-posting here something I wrote late last night, just to make sure plenty of people read it. What I found made my blood boil, and it should yours, too. How The Left Was Evil Tom Tomorrow, writing on the Enron Mess, concludes with: "Villainy, fraud, sex, death and a stonewalling White House. You think this thing is just going to blow over? Excuse me while I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes." [Italics mine] Let's get this straight. Tom gets a good giggle -- no, a tear-inducing belly laugh -- out of what he thinks is a murder. Think I'm exaggerating? Read this snippet from the same post: "We've got at least one mysterious death--the apparent suicide of a former Enron executive who, from all reports, had nothing to hide, but was expected to be a major whistleblower in the case. " Yeah, Tom doesn't have the stones to come right out and say it, but he clearly implies murder, coroner's report to the contrary. And he thinks murder is pretty damn funny when it furthers his objective of embarrassing the President. Remember the video of Osama laughing at the deaths of 2,800 Americans when those deaths furthered his political objectives? Is his mindset really that different from Mr. Tomorrow's? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: As he does most every PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 11:36:53 AM ----- BODY: As he does most every week, excellent Washington reporting by Howard Fineman in Newsweek. What you get from Fineman that you won't from the New York Times is an honest look at the strengths and weaknesses of Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle. Fineman is what Washington correspondents should be, but rarely are. Also from DC, interesting Presidential polling data from Fox News/Opinion Dyamics. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: As he does most every PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 11:36:53 AM ----- BODY: As he does most every week, excellent Washington reporting by Howard Fineman in Newsweek. What you get from Fineman that you won't from the New York Times is an honest look at the strengths and weaknesses of Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle. Fineman is what Washington correspondents should be, but rarely are. Also from DC, interesting Presidential polling data from Fox News/Opinion Dyamics. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Momentum is building against Janet PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 11:49:51 AM ----- BODY: Momentum is building against Janet Reno's bid for the Democrat nomination for Florida governor. Reality is considered a major factor. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Evidence There Might Be a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 11:58:21 AM ----- BODY: Evidence There Might Be a God After All Department If Satan, sometimes known in His earthly disguise as "Walt Disney Co.," doesn't win a giant lawsuit with a little family, then His Unholy Eminence stands to lose 25% of His gross annual revenues. All of this over Winnie the Pooh. You go, Pooh-bear! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Random After Lunch Thought If PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 01:20:28 PM ----- BODY: Random After Lunch Thought If I want to get my picture up on Samizdata, do I have to show as much leg as Natalija? I mean, I just don't have the knees for that short a skirt. And it's gonna take at least three or four Mach 3 blades to hack through the foliage. But wait... maybe if I use one of those hidden-camera shots of the VodkaFiance... ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If you haven't already, click PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 01:39:22 PM ----- BODY: If you haven't already, click on over to Best of the Web. I'd missed Paul Krugman's latest idiocy this morning, mostly because I'd had some strong coffee very early, and so had gotten over my early-morning masochism. Anyway, scroll down today's Best to read this: "Former Enron adviser Paul Krugman has come completely unhinged: "I predict that in the years ahead Enron, not Sept. 11, will come to be seen as the greater turning point in U.S. society." This is the worst prediction we've heard since Sept. 12, when some guy said the previous day's atrocities would be off the front pages by Thanksgiving." Paul... if there's one thing I know, it's that you do not enjoy a lovely Vodka & Valium cocktail before you sit down to write. OK? Oh, and sorry, Mickey. But, really, everything else you do is just swell. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I Promise to Make Some PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 01:57:18 PM ----- BODY: I Promise to Make Some Very Tasteless, Rather Funny Jokes After This Department Also on the NYT op-ed page, Nicholas D. Kristof has it all backwards on the Gitmo flap. His header says, "The Bush administration owes it to the world — and to our own national interest — to rise to the level of Somali gunfighters and apply the Geneva Convention to the men at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba." Nice idea, Nick, just not nice for the universe we actually live in. Somali warlords were (obviously) not signatories to the Geneva Conventions. Hell, Somalia isn't even a real nation-state. It's just a spot on the map where other countries aren't. However, it was most certainly in the warlord's best interest to act as though they were Geneva signatories when dealing with a captured US serviceman. Why? Because odds are we'd capture some of warlords or their officers, and they'd certainly appreciate some reciprocity in treatment. Do as you would be done by, and all that. What we have in Gitmo is quite the opposite. Here, the detainees are not signatories, nor are they going to suddenly get nice and act as though they are. So it is in our interest to demonstrate to them why it would be to their benefit to play by civilized rules. And the way to teach them that is to NOT give them Geneva Accord status. Maybe then they'll wise up. But then, if they were interested in playing by the rules of civilization, they wouldn't have started this war by flying civillian cruise missiles into office towers. Fuck'em. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: No Jokes Just Yet, Other PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 02:09:38 PM ----- BODY: No Jokes Just Yet, Other Than The NYT Op-Ed Page Yes, kids -- today the NYT Op-Ed hits a perfect Idiocy Trifecta. First Krugman, then Kristof, and now Shibley Telhami. In a bit called "The Need for Prudence in the Persian Gulf," Telhami writes: "...a reduction of American military forces in Saudi Arabia is politically inevitable. A drastic change like a complete withdrawal of forces is unlikely. But a force reduction is prudent as both nations assess their relations." The people in the Gulf needing to display some prudence are the three-timing, terrorist-funding, Quron-defiling House of Saud. How about we reduce their military presence and run the damn oil wells ourselves? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Still No Jokes. Need More PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 03:11:04 PM ----- BODY: Still No Jokes. Need More Coffee But until then, head on over to Sarge Stryker's for a serious no-shit-I-was-there sea story. Good reading, even if you aren't up on all the naval aviator slang. Check it out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Nick Gillespie, best known as PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 03:17:02 PM ----- BODY: Nick Gillespie, best known as The Guy Who Has Virginia Postrel's Old Gig, has a fun, funny, and informative interview with Paul Cantor over on ReasonOnline. In case you're out of the loop, Cantor is the author of Gilligan Unbound: Pop Culture in the Age of Globalization. As Dave Barry would say, I swear I'm not making this up. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This header (sans story) from PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 04:06:46 PM ----- BODY: This header (sans story) from Drudge: "Ashcroft has benign skin lesions removed from ear... " Doctors say strange "gray matter" from Ashcroft's skull is a mystery, but removal did the AG "no apparent harm." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Also from Drudge, Fox News PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/29/2002 04:11:29 PM ----- BODY: Also from Drudge, Fox News Channel dethrones CNN in 24-hour cycle ratings. Hell, even that annoying Fox & Friends morning show ate CNN's breakfast. That zipper sound you hear this time is AOL Time Warner honcho Steve Case dropping trou and bending over. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Kids, I thank you for PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 10:25:17 AM ----- BODY: Kids, I thank you for the big increase in traffic over the last couple weeks as I get my bearings and learn what I'm doing here. But just a quick couple items. First, this is a civilized blog. I'm rarely up before 9:30, and a decent respect for... well, just a bad pre-coffee attitude dictates I don't post before 10 or 10:30am. And that's Mountain Time. So mornings are a great time for you to catch up on yesterday's posts, but new pickings will be lean at best before noontime.. Second, I'm still not quite sure what this blog is. Partly political humor, part warblog, part news and blog links, part geopolitics, part bellowing rant. So tell me -- which part or parts do you like best? Do I lay off the jokes and do more analysis? Or the other way around? Are the rants too too too mean? Not enough links? Just a little direction here from you would be great -- I live to please my readers. Actually, I live to keep the VodkaFiance happy -- but I've got to do something while she's at work. Send your, uh, suggestive emails to stephenagreen-at-earthlink.net. You'll have to cut'n'paste and change the "-at-" to @, but you know why -- posting a real email address will lead to lots of spam. And we don't want that. OK, I'm gonna get back to the grind so you can have a steaming pile of fresh postings shortly. Meantime, tell me what you'd like to see. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And So It Begins Fortress PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 10:44:28 AM ----- BODY: And So It Begins Fortress Israel is one step closer to being... something. Maybe a big mistake. The Independent UK reports that PM Sharon has approved a plan to seal off Jerusalem in its entirety to outsiders, IE, Palestinians. Anyone who knows anything can tell you that if you defend everything everywhere at once, you defend nothing. But what other choice do they have? Even if they kill Arafat and destroy the PA, the Israelis are still vulnerable. Everywhere. So until the Palestinians are ready for peace -- and that's at least a generation from now -- the Israelis only have two real options, both unpalatable. The first is the total expulsion of Palestinians from the West Bank. That's the uberrightwing option -- the restoration of "Judea and Sumaria" to Israel proper. But the global outrage would be intolerable. Hell, even we couldn't back a move like that, not even after 9/11. Israel would become a pariah state locked so far out of world commerce as to make 1989 South Africa look coddled. And the increasingly high tech Israeli economy just can't afford that. The second option is called "Retreat and build a wall." Abandon the undefendable settlements, keep the strategic bits of the West Bank, and literally build a wall around the remainder. Far-fetched? Barely. It looks like they're ready to do that for Jerusalem -- which means they're one disco-bombing away from walling off the rest. And then Palestine can say goodbye to any hopes for peace (if they harbor any hopes of that), and also any hopes for anything other than grinding povery. PS I'd be writing about the State of the Union speech today, but: A) everyone else is, and; B) that's yesterday's news, damnit! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: OK, OK -- here's something PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 11:01:56 AM ----- BODY: OK, OK -- here's something about the State of the Union Address. The war will continue and the tax cuts won't be rescinded. So VodkaPundit declares it "a good speech." I'm sure I'll have some serious remarks on the SOTUA later, but meantime, check out ReasonOnline's (generic link) round-up of SOTUA punditry here (direct link). In a short space, they give you most everything. Andrew Sullivan linked me to the SOTUA Drinking Game. Click, print, and save it for next year. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Head over to Sarge Stryker's PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 11:16:59 AM ----- BODY: Head over to Sarge Stryker's for more stuff like this bit o' peanut gallery commentary from last night: After a brief camera shot of Tom Ridge: “Who’s that?” “That’s Tom Ridge.” “What’s he do?” “Nothing as far as I can tell.” ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Holy Takedown, Batman! Will Vehrs PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 12:22:38 PM ----- BODY: Holy Takedown, Batman! Will Vehrs outdoes Sullivan in this vicious dissection of Paul "See No Evil Until After the Check Has Cleared" Krugman on today's PunditWatch. What is most vicious is Verhs just calmly, plainly makes the case without a trace of rancor. Wow. This is what blogging should be. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Finally, an Enron Joke Paul PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 12:45:12 PM ----- BODY: Finally, an Enron Joke Paul Krugman, aka Two Face, can be best described as two Germans. While taking money from Enron, he was Sergeant Shultz: "I know nussink! I see nussink!" And now that the NYT has forced him to stop whoring, Krugman has become Colonel Klink: "Hogan! I know you're up to somesink!" UPDATE: Saying "finally, an Enron joke," is a lot like saying, "At long last -- Ebola!" ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This, courtesy of Best of PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 01:22:43 PM ----- BODY: This, courtesy of Best of the Web: "The world will not accept U.S. hegemony," said Iranian foreign minister Kamal Kharrazi. Kharrazi then added, "And we're not going to accept gravity or this bad weather, either." Other reactions to the President's speech, also thanks to Best: Salim al-Qubaisi, a member of Iraq's "parliament," tells Reuters: "Little Bush's accusation against Iraq is baseless. . . . Such threats do not scare us." "In fact, we dare you to cross this line. No, this line. Oops, we meant THIS line." And from a "straight" North Korean newspaper story: "The U.S. loudmouthed 'threat' from the DPRK [Democratic People's Republic of Korea] is sophism intended to justify its military presence in South Korea and persistently pursue the policy of aggression against the DPRK." We can only hope! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Godfather Fans Will Understand, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 01:37:53 PM ----- BODY: You Godfather Fans Will Understand, Part I I won't bother linking to the story, since so many other bloggers already have. Oh, and I lost the link. But let's just say that Neil has become the Bush family's Fredo. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Godfather Fans Will Understand, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 01:46:36 PM ----- BODY: You Godfather Fans Will Understand, Part II If Fredo, er.. Neil Bush doesn't clean up his act, maybe W should have Dick Cheney take Neil fishing at some undisclosed location. Well, not while Barbara is still alive. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Godfather Fans Will Understand, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 01:49:20 PM ----- BODY: You Godfather Fans Will Understand, Part III All of this really happening wouldn't bother me, just so long as, when they make the movie version, the role of the Bush Twins isn't played by Sophia Coppola. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: One More Permalink KesherTalk is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 03:02:59 PM ----- BODY: One More Permalink KesherTalk is well worth my time, and should be worth yours, too. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Just Found Another Kesher showed PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 03:06:58 PM ----- BODY: Just Found Another Kesher showed me the way to Balloon Juice. More daily reading material, kids. Permalink left and down a ways. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: There Must Be Some Kind PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 03:13:31 PM ----- BODY: There Must Be Some Kind of Mistake Here Department We just got a hit from Berkeley. That's freakin' Berkeley, kids. Or as we call it in Colorado, Boulder del Mar. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We Like You, Jonah, We PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 03:17:45 PM ----- BODY: We Like You, Jonah, We Just Don't Trust You More on why we don't trust Mr. Goldberg, from the man himself: I will take free money from just about anybody. I'll take money from NARAL, PETA, the Libertarian party, the Communist party (I hear they share offices). Jonah, if you can't tell the difference between very limited Constitutional government -- that's small-L libertarian -- and totalitarian thugocracy -- that's communism -- then we're going to have to send you to Remedial Punditry 101. Some people's kids just can't be trusted. UPDATE: But here's why we will always like Jonah -- he writes sentences like this: "Paul Krugman has been an arrogantly hysterical crapweasel." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Maybe He Started Drinking Ealry PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 03:50:53 PM ----- BODY: Maybe He Started Drinking Ealry Department Kind thanks to Ain't No Bad Dude for a swell mention. A good guy, even if he don't like nobody. And funnier than me, that's for sure. New Permalink in the usual place alongside the usual suspects. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Can We Give Them Back PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 04:09:41 PM ----- BODY: Can We Give Them Back Egypt, Too? Read this Barbara Lerner piece from today's National Review Online. It's great support for the idea first promulgated (I think) by Glenn Reynolds to return all of Arabia back to the Turks. Well-reasoned, and well-written with a you-are-there immediacy. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: OK, kids, I'll beat this PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 06:44:30 PM ----- BODY: OK, kids, I'll beat this horse just one more time today, and then you're off the hook. First, I'd like to reiterate my thanks for the traffic explosion last week and especially in the last few days. I'm seeing lots of repeat customers, which tells me I might just be doing something right. And the emails have been fantastic. But... VodkaPundit is only three weeks old, and I'm still feeling my way around. What is it you'd like to see more of? Less of? What am I not doing that I should? And to answer one reader's suggestion -- no, I will not post any naked pictures of the VodkaFiance. Not without first seeing some serious cash. C'mon, you know you wanna, I'll even make it easy. For a short time only, a real email link. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Conspiracy Theory Department The Associated PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 07:16:42 PM ----- BODY: Conspiracy Theory Department The Associated Press reports that the kidnappers of reporter Daniel Pearl are now threatening to kill him tomorrow if their demands aren't met. Could this be some sort of left wing plot to gain back some sympathy for the press? Nope -- Pearl works for the Wall Street Journal. I know I shouldn't joke about Mr. Pearl's plight. But the whole situation is so awful that if I don't joke, then I'm going to cry. A good American, a member in good standing of the Fourth Estate, doing his noble job -- this man is taken captive by barbarians who think nothing of his life, or any individual life. While we, we who think so much of life that we make conditions nice, even for captured terrorists who plotted to kill our wives and children, we can do little or nothing to help Daniel Pearl. Pearl's job is to bring truth to his readers. The barbarian's job is to plunge the world into darkness. If we give in to the barbarian's demands, then a thousand Americans will be held at gunpoint tomorrow. So we sit and we wait and we hope to develop enough intelligence to rescue Pearl before his captors decide he serves their plans better as a corpse. I do not beleive in God. I do not pray. But my thoughts tonight are somewhere in Pakistan with Daniel Pearl. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Few Words on Language PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 07:58:28 PM ----- BODY: A Few Words on Language The words we use are important. Vocabulary adds context for the listener. That's why I was so struck when President Bush used the phrase "the civilized world" last night. Those three simple words imply so much about a worldview that I thought was largely forgotten. I won't bother trying to explain it -- you either already know and agree or disagree, or you're too out of it for me to bother playing teacher. That's why in my last post, I used the word "barbarians" to describe the captors of Daniel Pearl. And I'm going to use that word from now on to describe terrorists and terrorism. You see, those barbarians don't deserve the stature granted them by being thought of as "-ists" who believe in an "-ism." They are barbarians, something out of a dark past century, armed with modern conveniences and weapons. But don't let the veneer of cell phones, web addresses, or electronic detonators fool you; they are no more civilized than a wild proto-man of pre-history who has just learned to bash his neighbor with a stick. They want to destroy civilization, they want to turn back the clock. Don't let them even slow the clock down, don't grant them a title they don't deserve. I've been far too serious tonight. I promise to get back to being flippant and useless tomorrow. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Last Call -- Final Post PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/30/2002 11:39:16 PM ----- BODY: Last Call -- Final Post for the Night At 11,700 years, an "unassuming bush may be world's oldest living thing." Helen Thomas lodges formal protest, claims "at least eight days seniority." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: First Word -- the Coffee PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 10:12:14 AM ----- BODY: First Word -- the Coffee Hasn't Kicked In Yet We'll get to the emails from yesterday and this morning in a bit. Probably not til this afternoon. In the meantime, this: Is the VodkaPundit psychic? You be the judge. Just yesterday I called Neil "the Bush family's Fredo," then went on to cast W in the Michael Corleone role. And now US News & World report has this header -- "Bush should hire the mob." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And It's a Long Way PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 10:22:17 AM ----- BODY: And It's a Long Way Down from There, Too I lost the origial link, but Janet Reno collapsed last night, but is doing fine now, according to the latest story. Normally I would make a physical-collapse-as-campaign-chances metaphor here, but I used up my weekly quota with the three-part Godfather joke yesterday ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Does She Get Fries PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 10:25:33 AM ----- BODY: But Does She Get Fries with that Shake? Also from the Janet Reno story in the Washington Post, "[Dr.] Whitsell could not say whether the fainting spell was related to the former attorney general's Parkinson's disease, but dizziness, poor balance and trembling are some of the symptoms of the disease." Whitsell went on to add, "Other symptoms include burning cultists alive and stealing motherless children at gunpoint so that they might go live in a totalitarian dictatorship." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I'd Hate to See His PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 10:37:18 AM ----- BODY: I'd Hate to See His Underwear from Tuesday Night In a move puzzling even to Iranians, Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei said he is "honored" to be targeted as a terrorist by the "Great Satan." Said one man-on-the-Tehran-street, "It's like Khamenei has some sort of death wish. Or maybe he's just got a really nice cave, like that Oswald or Osman guy or whatever his name was." "There are some satans in the world, but America indeed is the great Satan," Khamenei said, flames spewing out his ears and trying to hide his cloven hooves in oversized Gucci loafers. So kids, who wants to bet VodkaPundit one Absolut Citron Martini that we're busy programing cruise missiles at government targets in Tehren right now? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: That's Mr. Baby-Killer to You! PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 10:47:21 AM ----- BODY: That's Mr. Baby-Killer to You! Austin Bay, a brilliant man with whom I don't often disagree, gets it close but not quite about the Gitmo detainees. Austin, this is a fight to the death, not about the moral high ground. We got that on 9/11. We'd be within our treaty rights to shoot any al Qaeda officer on sight. That they're getting much better than that is a tribue already to our largesse. Granting them POW status is an honor they do not deserve. Scroll down to see my post on language from last night. It's civilization vs. barbarians, and barbarians cannot be POWs. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Like Being A Little PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 11:19:15 AM ----- BODY: It's Like Being A Little Bit Pregnent Bill Safire's NYT column today is even better than usual -- and that's saying something. As he explains the Bush's call to go after terror-sponsors North Korea, Iran, and Iraq, something hit me: the importance of finishing wars. And I'm not talking just about the Current Mess. 1953. Korea. Stalemate. Now North Korea is building nuclear weapons and the long-range missiles to deliver them. If we wait too long to act, then replacing the evil North Korean government could cost us Pearl Harbor. Or Los Angeles. 1979. Iran. Desert One fails. The new Iranian theocracy learns the US can be triffled with. We never teach them any better. Result? Iran is working on WMD and missiles, too. Teaching them otherwise now could cost us Haifa or Tel Aviv. 1991. Iraq. We let Saddam stay in power. And now Saddam supports terror worldwide, including al Qaeda. Might have had a part in both WTC attacks. Only reason we think he doesn't have nukes is ten years of trade sanctions -- sanctions which have ruined our moral authority in the Middle East. In all three cases, we put off "finishing" the war because it seemed too expensive. In Korea we worried about starting WWIII. In Iran, we feared Soviet intervention, too. In Iraq, we feared taking Bagdhad would lead to a lengthy occupation and Marshall Plan. Well, now we know -- acting later is always more expensive than acting now. Compound interest collects on unfinished wars, too. Thankfully, I think the current President understands that. More thankfully, I think the American people understand it now, too. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Which Little Knobby Thing Makes PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 11:49:43 AM ----- BODY: Which Little Knobby Thing Makes the Wheels Come Out? In an NYT op-ed but today, Alice Amsden asks, "Why Are Globalizers So Provincial?" She complains that the US appoints the head of the World Bank, and that the modern, Western countries control the IMF and the WTO. Let me tell Ms. Amsden something -- no one wants to fly in a plane piloted by the passengers. We control these things because we're the ones who can and do make trade work. Put Communist party hacks in charge of a global bank? A tribal leader from a land where the laws of cause and effect are seen as prosaic leading the IMF? The Butcher of Bagdhad working for a level playing field? This college drop-out expects something a bit smarter from an MIT prof like Amsden. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Should Hear What He PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 12:03:54 PM ----- BODY: You Should Hear What He Says About People He Doesn't Like Yesterday, Jonah Goldberg at NRO wrote a line that's become my new chant. So, just because it feels so good, I want you to say it clearly, but not too loudly, right there at your desk at work, the internet cafe, or wherever you are. Ready? Here we go: "Paul Krugman has been an arrogantly hysterical crapweasel." Who cares if people are staring at you. Didn't that feel good? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If I Were Gay, I'd PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 12:30:39 PM ----- BODY: If I Were Gay, I'd Kiss Him Right on the Mouth Hell, I still might. Read this from Andrew Sullivan today: "I have long found Paul Krugman an insufferably pompous, shrill, Bush-bashing pseudo-populist." Doesn't quite have the flow of Goldberg's "crapweasel," but it certainly proves that despite their best efforts, English universities still produce some goddamn fine writers. Thanks, Andrew! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Also, The Dog Ate His PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 12:45:33 PM ----- BODY: Also, The Dog Ate His Homework Forgive the large -- even for me -- number of typos today. All this week and next, I'm posting during daylight hours from a special location. A location armed with an early Pentium-era computer with no Word, no Excel, no SpellCheck, no nothin'. Oh, and a tiny little keyboard that reminds me of the one from the IBM PCjr. And a 13-inch monitor. And did I mention only a slowband AOL connection to the web? The fact that I'm still posting 1,000-2,000 words a day is proof enough I love this gig and care deeply about my readers. So forgive the typos already! I fix'em as soon as I find'em. UPDATE: Did I mention Explorer has crashed on me three times already today, each time requiring a reboot? Did I also mention that connecting to AOL with this P.O.S. takes, on average, four attempts and three minutes? Did I mention I'm not getting freakin' PAID for any of this? And now I have to somehow get myself back in the right mood to say lovely things about Peggy Noonan. FURTHER UPDATE: How old do I feel, mentioning the IBM PCjr? If someone else remembers that Thing, please let me know. Otherwise, I'm going to go to a mirror with a magnifying glass and start pulling gray hairs. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: How does one get de-(un-?)listed PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 01:09:51 PM ----- BODY: How does one get de-(un-?)listed from Google? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: They Look Good, But They PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 01:41:37 PM ----- BODY: They Look Good, But They Never Feel Right Some surprises from the al Qaeda documents recovered by our soldiers in Afghanistan. I've excerpted the most important bits for you and collected them here. "Documents...spotlight the U.S. Capitol, Seattle's Space Needle and a portion of Los Angeles," suggesting them as targets. This is further proof that the barbarians just don't understand America. Let the Greens in Seattle run the show there for a while, and there won't be any buildings over two stories left. And all built of adobe. Also found were references to al Qaeda's "Crack Suicide Squad." I... I have nothing to add here that the Monty Python troupe didn't do twenty years ago. I am filled with shame. No, wait -- giggles. Most interesting to Army Intelligence officers were minutes taken from actual al Qaeda meetings. Translations differ, but the consensus goes as follows: Osama: I swear to Allah, Britney Spears had a boob job. Omar: No, you're thinking of that Christina girl. I hear she can be a real bitch. Osama: You fool -- look right here! And take off that fake eyepatch, you'll never be butch. Anyway, I'd know her face from six miles up. Think I impressed her with that whole airplane thing? Will she answer my letters now? More details to follow. Developing. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Doesn't Sullivan Have an Award PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 02:00:45 PM ----- BODY: Doesn't Sullivan Have an Award for This Sort of Thing? Interesting but not convincing stuff from Derbyshire today. He argues that Israel will eventually be swallowed up by the Arabs for the same reason he thinks Northern Ireland will be incorporated into Ireland Proper -- "democracy is no match for terrorism." Oh really, John? I, too, am a pessimist on Israel's long-term chances -- but only because not even SDI can defend again a suitcase nuke. And the barbarians only have to get lucky once to flatten Tel Aviv. But saying we're no match for terrorism, just two nights after Bush's SOTUA, just four months into this campaign, just weeks into the government we installed in Afghanistan... well. I wonder if after Pearl harbor in 1941 and Kasserine Pass not much later, Derbyshire would have argued that "democracy is no match for fascism." Or after Task Force Smith that "democracy is no match for Communism." Blair caved into the IRA. Israel damned near caved into the PLO in 1999, and was saved only by Arafat's ill-timed intransigence. But as a Brit -- whose George III caved into certain rabble after Yorktown -- Derbyshire underestimates his American cousins yet again. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Who Let the Dogs... Oh, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 02:26:50 PM ----- BODY: Who Let the Dogs... Oh, Hell, Not Even I Can Say It. A pack of wild dogs mauled a little boy to death in Norway yesterday. "Should this happen several more times," said a Norwegian government official who preferred to remain anonymous, "then we will be forced to raise our voice when we say 'bad doggies,' and maybe even send a note to Brussels." The official concluded with, "I'd rather you didn't use my name, since taking such a strong stance is frowned on by the PM." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: They Didn't Pick Out a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 02:34:09 PM ----- BODY: They Didn't Pick Out a Name After the Ultrasound? I don't remember who to thank for sending me the link to this Jeff Jacoby column, but you really ought to read it. Read it very closely if you live in Arabia, and even more closely if there's a "Saud" in your name. Hashemite Arabia? Kemalite Arabia? Far East Texas Arabia? Pick one -- any would be an improvement over "Saudi." FULL DISCLOSURE: It saddens me to say such things about the Saudi government. My father-in-law-to-be has a long-standing business relationship with the Saudi government, and formerly a military one. Through him, I've heard many good things about a certain Saudi prince, and many very frustrating things about dealing with others. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Usually, They Just Think I'm PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 02:40:31 PM ----- BODY: Usually, They Just Think I'm a Perv Hello to whichever lovely lady at Bryn Mawr is reading my blog today. Sadly, VodkaPundit had to give up hitting on college girls even before proposing to the VodkaFiance. Yet life after 30 is still pretty damn good. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And They Want the Burger PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 03:10:34 PM ----- BODY: And They Want the Burger King to Abdicate in Favor of a Semi-Autonomous Collective You simply must read Dreher's column today on the "protestors" in New York, if only for this line: "If Genoa, Seattle, and Melbourne are any guide, urban terrorists gathering in New York this week are going to burn khakis, upend four-dollar frappucinos, and assassinate Mayor McCheese." Back to Monty Python for a moment, if we may. These anti-globalization barbarians remind me of John Cleese in the Argument Sketch. Remember it? No matter what Eric Idle says, Cleese just replies, "No it isn't." Well, except when Idle says "No it isn't," and Cleese says "Yes it is." Same with the anti-everything barbarians currently camping out in NYC. Show them anything truly progressive (as in PROGRESS) or beneficial or promoting freedom or commerce -- and they automatically gainsay it without a thought. More on this later. I feel I'm developing a new theme. So now I'm actually going to have to put on my thinking cap. Which, like the Grinch's heart, is two sizes too small. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Stop That, Or I'll Tell PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 03:15:58 PM ----- BODY: Stop That, Or I'll Tell Teacher Great find by Sean McCray over at Next Right. Read it -- could be a sneaky, underhanded, outside-the-law, and absolutely wonderful method of education reform. Not only that, but it's happening in my old home town. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: At Least He Doesn't Forget PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 03:27:57 PM ----- BODY: At Least He Doesn't Forget to Put the Toilet Seat Down My apologies to Rand Simberg, the guy we all need to thank for creating Transterrestrial Musings. I meant to permalink his way ever ago, but it somehow got lost in the shuffle. He does great work and you really ought to make his place a daily visit. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But He Still Doesn't Do PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 03:57:10 PM ----- BODY: But He Still Doesn't Do Windows Glenn Reynolds has been out all afternoon, Andrew Sullivan's site is down or hacked or something bad. I refuse to read NRO's "The Corner" (or link to it) until Jonah admits he's running a blog. What I'm trying to say here is I'd better pick up the pace to take up the slack. Oh, and I'd also better link to Little Green Footballs like I promised myself I'd do the same day I promised to link Transterrestrial. Meantime, it's a slow afternoon for news. So what's a blogger to do other than update his links? UPDATE: VodkaPundit, in all his three weeks of amateur web glory, just placed himself in the same league as Sullivan and Reynolds. Arrogant little prick, isn't he? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Down Underhanded The Aussies, like PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 04:24:02 PM ----- BODY: Down Underhanded The Aussies, like the Brits, have a ruling class far worse than they deserve. In a new act of cowardice, the Australian Parliament has banned the Dalai Lama from speaking inside their chamber. I'm no Richard Gere dreamy-land idiot. I know Tibet is most likely doomed. But -- to cave into Chinese Communist Party demands to delegitimize a religious and spiritual leader is cowardice at its worst. (OK, second worst. Worst would be if on 9/12, Bush had said, "Sorry, what did we do to make you hate us?") Aussies, tell your Parliament to go to hell. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I Swear to God I PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 06:07:34 PM ----- BODY: I Swear to God I Watch It Because of Karen's Chest Don't expect much posting tonight, kids. Or half of all the other Thursday nights. I'm a self-confessed junky of the Jack & Karen Show, and wouldn't dream of missing a fresh episode. Certainly not during February sweeps. I hear this time, Grace might actually catch herself a man. And who knows, Will might, too. If I could, I'd dictate witty commentary during commercials for my VodkaFlunky to post for me, but this is strictly a low-budget operation. Well, other than the bar tab. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And He Didn't Even Look PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 06:13:12 PM ----- BODY: And He Didn't Even Look Up Her Picture This Time A fantastic angry posting from the lovely and talented Natalija Radic on Samizdata tonight. She tears into the throats of the Eurosocialists who run the show over on the other side of the pond. Natalija, if I might suggest something to you? Try taking on the barbarian "protesters" in New York next time you post. They really need to hear from someone who lives in a country victim to their wishes. I don't expect it to do any actual good, but I do expect you to write something pretty damn fun to read. Also, something tells me it'll have that Brick to the Face effect you can have when you're angry. Go for it! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We'll Get Back to Being PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 06:23:41 PM ----- BODY: We'll Get Back to Being Vicious After These Important Messages. One more thing before I sink into TV Mode for a bit. My call for advice and direction yesterday resulted in a flood of emails. I'd like to thank each of you, and I think I managed to reply to all personally. If I didn't, that's my bad and so I'm thanking you here. The consensus seems to be to keep doing what I'm doing, only more of it. Kids, all I can do is try. I'm not sure I can pound out any more words each day than I already do, but... hell, it's not like I've got a wedding and honeymoon and all that to help plan. Oh, wait... And no, Phil, I will still not be publishing any naked pictures of the VodkaFiance. Get your own. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Does This Mean I Have PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 01/31/2002 06:39:38 PM ----- BODY: Does This Mean I Have to Organize My Dry Bar by Dewey Decimal? An email exchange with a good friend resulted in the question, "You're a Scotch drinker, so why 'VodkaPundit'?" Simple. Just like pairing food with booze, different kinds of writing call for different drinks. Punditry goes with vodka, natch. Writing fiction calls for a good single-malt Scotch, preferably Oban or Dalwhinnie If you're working on a limerick, you'll want a beer. Or three. And definately Guiness. Research paper? You're a student and can't afford to drink. Legal briefs are best served with a gin martini, unless you're a Bahamian bank lawyer, in which case a gin and tonic with a squeeze. Trying to finish that epic poem? Mead, baby, mead! Writers of football team names on their chests should stick with Bud. And finally, there's High Verse. Demerol, cocaine, and jug wine all at once. (Dorothy Parker only) We'll be taking further suggestions to add to this list right up until last call. Seriously. After that, I'm now considering changing my slogan to "The Somellier of Punditry." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But a Whoppee Cushion Is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 10:22:25 AM ----- BODY: But a Whoppee Cushion Is Probably Going Too Far Alert Reader Russell Leslie from Australia sends the following about my rant against the Aussie Parliament yesterday: The story is different than you seem to think. Parliament House has a lot of meeting areas, some of which are quite big. Some of the meeting areas can be hired for private functions. Canberra has some very huge venues, a lot small venues but not many medium venues. The Dalai Lama's visit will be popular so the National Press Club decided that their own venue was too small and wanted to use one of the bigger function rooms at Parliament House. A plain-old commercial transaction - not like addressing Congress or anything - more like hiring a meeting room at the Capitol Building. That is where "international protocol" comes into this. The Dalai Lama is, at least notionally, a Head of State. Protocol for meeting a Head of State, travelling as Head of State has many pitfalls and rules. If he(she) is not afforded certain courtesies we are disparaging his(her) claims as Head of State - if we extend him(her) ANY of the courtesies we have to extend them all or we are insulting the State of which he(she) is head. The Dalai Lama is visiting Australia as a private individual. Australia would prefer not do anything to make the status of the visit ambiguous. Having him address a crowd, which will include many of our members of Cabinet, in Parliament House is one of those things that could make the status of the visit ambiguous. The problem would be as much the risk of disparaging the concept of Tibet as it would be a risk of offending China. Russell, you make valid and compelling points -- right up until the last one. Risk offending China? Oh my! Good sir, the noses of tyrants are made for tweaking. And their toes are designed for stepping on. I grant you the rest, but on this I must stand firm. Otherwise, we'd still have the Queen on our money. (Sorry, was that unfair?) ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Insomniacs Will Rest Easier PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 10:36:56 AM ----- BODY: You Insomniacs Will Rest Easier Found this one on Drudge -- Amtrack is threatening to discontinue service. In a related story, Michael Jackson threatens to stop producing new albums. You can get an endless series of jokes here: Congressman [Any Name] threatens to stop making speeches. Al Gore threatens to use fewer big words. Iraq threatens to invade Texas. Britney Spears threatens to dress all trampy and stuff. VodkaFiance threatens VodkaPundit with lots of hot & steamy Friday night sex. (OK, so that one happened. You ought to see my other emails.) John Tesh threatens to fade silently away. Got more? Send'em in. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Does It Surprise You He's PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 10:43:53 AM ----- BODY: Does It Surprise You He's Marrying a Military Brat? Read Krauthammer. Don't wait, just click. Now. You can always come back when you're done. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Did He Ever Do PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 10:53:24 AM ----- BODY: But Did He Ever Do Any Work for the Saudis? Paul Krugman (I won't insult you by linking) claims there may be "two, three, many," more Enrons in the near future. Comrade K goes on to say that he doesn't know which companies, he's just sure there will be some. I've got an idea for how to spot future Enrons: Look for huge companies who once hired Krugman to flak for them. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Just Reminiscing Terry Anderson has PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 11:02:18 AM ----- BODY: Just Reminiscing Terry Anderson has a thoughtful piece in the NYT on Daniel Pearl and his kidnappers. In case you don't remember, Anderson was one of those souls held forever and ever by barbarians in Lebanon back in the '80s and early '90s. Three careers and ten years ago, I got to talk briefly with Anderson when he came to speak at Humboldt State University which, if I remember correctly, is his alma mater. I doubt he remembers one then-ponytailed would-be radio journalist, but I remember the quiet power of his soft-spoken words. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Do You Drink Cooking PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 11:17:00 AM ----- BODY: But Do You Drink Cooking Sherry When Writing About Julia Childs? Sheryl K writes in with this suggestion for the writing/drink pairing list from last night (scroll down to see the whole thing): "Mystery writing and sherry go great together." I think we may have out next Agatha Christie. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Victor Davis Hanson might just PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 11:25:46 AM ----- BODY: Victor Davis Hanson might just be the best writer at NRO, and certainly the best on the web for military affairs -- even if his last book was unconvincing. Check out this line: "The main tenet of multiculturalism — that there is no absolute standard for measuring the respective worth of any given culture — has been shattered by 9/11." Yes, Virginia, there is a good and an evil. And part of evil is being unwilling to see the difference. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Daniel Pearl may have been PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 11:57:04 AM ----- BODY: Daniel Pearl may have been killed in the last hour by his barbarian captors. If true, he is a casualty in this war and should be remembered as such. However, I hope this news proves to be untrue. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: At Least There Are No PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 12:10:35 PM ----- BODY: At Least There Are No Jokes About Warren Christopher Wearing a Halston Dress Former Secretary of State Madeline "This ATM Machine Line is Another Munich!" Albright today criticized President Bush's foreign policy. She was at her most critital on Bush's lumping together of Iran, Iraq, and North Korea as terror-supporting states. "That's like saying bacon and eggs go together, or lumping together the Superbowl with football. Which, by the way, the Patriots will win in a blow-out. 106-3, probably." Albright when on to explain that "the situation in Iran is much more complicated." So much so, that she strained to come up with yet another Munich analogy. "If we encourage the people of Iran to rise up against their government, that would be like... um... giving Prague to Hitler. Somehow." The former SecState, wearing a slinky little Chanel number, urged Bush to turn Gitmo into a real-life "Real World," and release videotape of the detainees there because, "the international community thinks we have lost our minds." However, Albright was unclear whether she was referring to the country as a whole or to herself. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Don't Ask What He'll Post PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 12:27:19 PM ----- BODY: Don't Ask What He'll Post Pictures of If He Keeps Getting Hits from Bryn Mawr If I keep getting hits from the Department of Justice, I'm going to post a picture of a giant aluminum boob. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Just When I Think I'm PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 12:34:33 PM ----- BODY: Just When I Think I'm Clever Will Warren trumps me again with "Oops! It's the Euro." However, I'm still waiting for Will (or Dan or Steve at Happy Fun Pundit) to make a song out of "At Long Last Ebola." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And Just When I Think PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 12:40:25 PM ----- BODY: And Just When I Think I Can Turn a Phrase Sarge Stryker comes up with this gem: "Spring was sputtering in like a 15 year old learning how to drive a stick-shift." Correction, Sarge -- I was 14 when Uncle Bill tried to teach me how to drive that ancient I.H. Scout II. Read the whole post. Sarge S has already become the web's best source for military tall tales. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: North Korean Army Marches South, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 01:27:54 PM ----- BODY: North Korean Army Marches South, Seeking 7-11 that Takes Checks or at Least Some Wild Berries The North Korean government condemned what it called the "moral leprosy" of US President George W. Bush and said the communist state was powerfully equipped for any conflict. The North Korean arsenal includes over 2,500 Soviet- and Chinese-built tanks, and nearly enough fuel to fill up the Jeep. Speaking from atop a pile of corpses of low-level aides who had recently died of starvation, a Pyongyang foreign ministry spokesman said: "We are sharply watching the disturbing moves of the United States that has pushed the situation to the brink of war." A war, he went on to say, "that we are bound to lose in an embarassingly spectacular fasion." Glancing up from his prepared note, the spokesman asked, "running dog-capitalist pig-tool reporter, are you going to finish that sandwich?" ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Goldberg Sticks It Halfway In, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 01:39:57 PM ----- BODY: Goldberg Sticks It Halfway In, Claims Orgy. Almost admitting that he runs a blog with NRO's "The Corner," Jonah Goldberg writes the following: There are no editors, no rules, and no master plan. Yes, as many, many, many readers have pointed out, it's very much like a blog along the lines of AndrewSullivan.com or Instapundit.com. The difference, however, is significant. Those guys run one-man operations. If you can't see the distinction, look at it this way. Sex with one person is very different than sex with more than one. Has he never heard of the multi-poster, multi-damn-national Libertarian Samizdata? Of course he hasn't. Jonah saw the word "Libertarian" and closed the browser window, not wanting to read "Marxist tripe." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: At Least Shannon Doherty Admits PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 01:53:19 PM ----- BODY: At Least Shannon Doherty Admits She's a Bitch Alleged actress and shoplifter Wynona Ryder has been charged with four felonies today in a Beverly Hills Court. Ryder's lawyer protested, saying "being stuck in 1989 is no crime." But pressed on another charge, her attorney claimed "no comment" to his client still finding former "Heathers" co-star Christian Slater "boyishly cute." Ryder has already pleaded no contest to charges of staring in "Autumn in New York." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Not a Real Drink, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 02:03:25 PM ----- BODY: It's Not a Real Drink, He Still Has to Drive Home It's taken most of the day, but I'm finally getting all caught up with Douglas Turnbull's excellent "The Beauty of Gray" blog. Like the Good Captain Steve of the USS Clueless, Douglas has a way of making me feel dull-witted and uninformed. That's a compliment, kids, not a complaint. A well-earned raised martini glass and a permalink for "The Beauty of Gray." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If You Thought Krauthammer Was PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 02:19:25 PM ----- BODY: If You Thought Krauthammer Was on His Game Today Simply one of the two finest patriotic tributes I have read over at USS Clueless. Wow. Best part is, I don't even think that's what he was aiming for. Double wow. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And They Agreed On Something PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 03:24:17 PM ----- BODY: And They Agreed On Something Other Than Hitchens Being Snooty Andrew Sullivan is up from his nap and back to posting. I'm sorry I had to miss his appearence with Christopher Hitchens this morning on C-SPAN. Anyone tape it? Please? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: How Can Pat Buchanan Think PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 03:58:23 PM ----- BODY: How Can Pat Buchanan Think Being White Is So Great When He's So Stupid? I just sent the following letter to Glenn Reynolds. He did a write-up of Jonah Goldberg's rerun today that reminded me of a story from the Iowa Caucases (of all places) six years ago. Prof, Your bit on that story reminded me of an old Bob Dornan press meeting back in '96. If you'll remember, B-1 Bob ran for the Republican nomination not to win (so he claimed) but so that there would be at least one candidate picking on Clinton at any given moment. Occasionally, the press treated him like they did John McCain in 2000, and for the same reason. Dornan was candid, funny, and would answer (or say) most anything. Well, he had a group of them eating out of his hand on C-SPAN when a question came up about... oh, abortion or someting. Doesn't matter. Dornan started talking about his grandchildren -- all 942 of them, I think. A lot. "Good Irish-Catholic kids, all of them, and they look it" he said. He then went on to say, "Now, in a thousand years or so, our kids will all be the same nice bronze color." And he meant it as a good thing. Compare that with Pat Buchanan's latest tripe about our "racial future." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Don't They Always Seem Smart PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 05:50:18 PM ----- BODY: Don't They Always Seem Smart When They Agree With You? Yesterday I wrote: In all three cases, we put off "finishing" the war because it seemed too expensive. In Korea we worried about starting WWIII. In Iran, we feared Soviet intervention, too. In Iraq, we feared taking Bagdhad would lead to a lengthy occupation and Marshall Plan. Well, now we know -- acting later is always more expensive than acting now. Compound interest collects on unfinished wars, too. And now this just in from Smart Reader Brenda Largent: Here's a free lesson from a programmer: Fixing a programming error after software release: Approximately 10x the cost and time of fixing it before release. ALWAYS finish the job. It's waaaaay expensive to go back and do it all again. This is true of every endeavor in life. Remember the old carpentry saying 'Measure twice, cut once.' Amen, Brenda. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Most of it Already PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 06:16:54 PM ----- BODY: But Most of it Already is Rubble As I'm sure you've read by now, al Qaeda is considering moving their base of operations to Lebanan. Leave aside the poor Lebanese, who have been through far more hell the last 27 years than any people deserve, with the possible exception of French Canadians. The important question is, what the hell is supposed criminal genius Osama bin Laden THINKING? We've just demonstrated that we can kick his ass in landlocked, inaccessable, no-real-roads Afghanistan. A place far from any of our forward bases, a place where even carrier aircraft had to stretch to reach. So you would think his next stop would be somewhere even more remote. Say, the Brazilian rainforest, or Papua New Guinea, or in orbit around Zoltram VII. Instead, he wants to park himself in Lebanon. A quick look at the map tells us: A) Lebanon is within launching distance of most every military asset we have, and; B) It's right the hell next door to Israel, a country which -- without out help! -- owned the suburbs of Beirut as recently as 1982. Osama bin Laden is no criminal mastermind. He's a barbarian who got lucky. UPDATE! MORE JOKES! Did Osama get a sweet deal on office space in downtown Beirut? Perhaps Arafat (or Assad Jr, or Khadaffi) suggested the move, so he'd no longer be the biggest bastard on the Mediterranean? What, Libya was full? I could go on, but fishbarrelling gets old. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: For Lunch We Had Cheez-Its PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 06:30:51 PM ----- BODY: For Lunch We Had Cheez-Its Sometimes I wonder how I got someone as wonderful and beautiful as the VodkaFiance to agree to marry me. Then, going over our emails today, I got the answer: It's the cooking, stupid. Tomorrow night we're sharing cooking duties. She's got the appetizer, veggies, and dessert. I'm in charge of salad, entree, and starch. Here's my half of the menu: Salad -- Steve's World's Best Caesar Starch -- Rosemary mashed potatoes Entree -- Steak Diane Also, I've picked a lovely '97 Freemark Abbey Cabernet Sauvignon to go with the meal. Yes, you are allowed to hate us both. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And Yet He Never Calls PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 06:43:55 PM ----- BODY: And Yet He Never Calls Me the Next Day Sarge Stryker has a good look at the Pentagon procurement process. In this case, "process" is synonymous with "mess" or perhaps "criminal insanity." But you knew that already. Anyway, here's the link, even though I seem to link Stryker once or twice every afternoon. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And No Tartar Build-Up There, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 07:02:25 PM ----- BODY: And No Tartar Build-Up There, Either One of my favorite recent discoveries, Little Green Footballs, quotes at length a Weekly Standard story where we learn, among other things, that some Gitmo detainees have put toothpaste up their bottoms. At least their backsides are minty fresh, I suppose. As Dave Barry says, I swear I'm not making this up. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He's Still No Carson You PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 07:11:06 PM ----- BODY: He's Still No Carson You gotta love Letterman. VodkaPundit started watching him at the tender age of 13, when he got his first late night gig over at NBC. You can find his Top Ten list from last night here, but you might not know about the Top Ten Extra. If you go to the web site, you can see extra items left off the list. Here I present last night's extra from Top Ten Reasons I Love America: Free refills It's got the greatest Navy in the world! Thanks to our nation's radio stations, while the rest of the world has "October," we have "Rocktober" Every year an American team wins the Super Bowl Hardly anyone speaks Swedish, which is good because I don't understand Swedish The St. Louis Arch makes a convenient carrying handle for the whole continent Other countries may have cheese -- we have Cheese Whiz American know-how lets me shampoo and condition at the same time OK, Letterman -- now go take CBS for all they're worth in your contract negotiations. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Yeah, But How Much Do PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 07:14:25 PM ----- BODY: Yeah, But How Much Do The Sticks Sell For? An item from Strategy Page just caught my eye: "Israel has exercised its contract option to buy another 52 F-16I tactical fighters." In a related development, Yassar Arafat's Palestinian Authority has contracted with Ur Defense Conglomerate for three extra truckloads of Mark IV Throwable Rocks. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Or Else the VodkaFiance Will PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 08:49:48 PM ----- BODY: Or Else the VodkaFiance Will Kill Him Kids, it's getting towards dinner hour here, and I've got some veal to picatta. So if you don't mind, I'm going to go have a weekend now. I might find some time to post during the weekend, but mostly I'll be weekending. Sunday night, however, I'll be working on adding an archive to this joint, along with a requested "Greatest Hits" section. Look for the new features Monday at the earliest, and, at the very latest, July 2004. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I Thought Paul Was the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 09:24:07 PM ----- BODY: I Thought Paul Was the Cute One and Ringo Was the Funny One Forgive me for posting late, but the VodkaFiance hasn't arrived yet so I have some time to kill. You absolutely have to click over to Happy Fun Pundit and scroll down to Dan's Democratic Response Q&A. I laughed so hard that milk came out of my nose, and I haven't had milk in days. Also, the Q&A post confirms my suspicion that of Dan & Steve there, Dan is the funnier one. Not that I'm trying to sow any discord over at their site so long as they keep not linking me. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And If He's Right? I'm PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/01/2002 09:58:38 PM ----- BODY: And If He's Right? I'm really going now, but I leave you with this: the Rams will beat the spread, currently 14.5 points. If I'm wrong, we'll talk Monday. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Is It Deep Enough PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/03/2002 10:58:56 AM ----- BODY: But Is It Deep Enough for a Bomb Shelter? Having poked a sleeping giant with a pointy stick, VodkaPundit got exactly what he deserved. In a beautiful take-down by none other than Steve over at Happy Fun Pundit, yours truly gets ripped a new one big enough for the entire al Qaeda and their multiple wives to hide out in. Great Sunday morning fun. Oh, and go Rams! See you Monday. PS The fries were great. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Because Eating Servo Would Be PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 10:13:44 AM ----- BODY: Because Eating Servo Would Be Weird Been eating crow all night and morning over the Superbowl. Plus I'm out a hundred bucks. Let's face it -- lots of money changed hands last night. From the many to the few. Still, there was that one last excellent quarter of football -- more than enough to make up for the first three. Don't worry, I'm getting to the news now. Some real commentary in a jiff. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Did They Buy Commercial Time PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 10:27:25 AM ----- BODY: Did They Buy Commercial Time on Baywatch? Reporting from Afghanistan, this UPI story claims that al Qaeda once tried to kill Clinton. Further investigation reveals that after botching the first try, al Qaeda decided against any further assassination attempts because, captured documents say, "Clinton alive in the White House is our best ally." Instead, al Qaeda focused money into groups urging the repeal of the 22nd Amendment. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Bee-Gees at #1; Green Gets PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 10:35:30 AM ----- BODY: Bee-Gees at #1; Green Gets First Star Wars Figure; Amon Blogs! Dale Amon, Samizdata's Belfast correspondent, has a lovely essay on the -- surprisingly long! -- history of blogging. My first exposure to the Internet was through the University of Missouri-Columbia's mainframe back in 1987. I remember the thrill of chatroom talks with people from Finland. But people blogging since the '70s? I had no idea. This thing is finally snowballing, kids. Hang on. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Difference Is, Falwell Only PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 10:46:59 AM ----- BODY: The Difference Is, Falwell Only Claims to Talk to God. Safire writes such good essays, it's easy sometimes to forget how good a reporter he can be. Especially with sources like Ariel Sharon. Read it. Sharon describes his conditions for further dealings with the Palestinians. And notice that's not "dealings with Arafat." Still the old general, Sharon meant it when he called Arafat irrelevant. He's now dealing with others. But can Arafat's underlings deliver what Arafat himself couldn't or wouldn't? Look at it this way. Like any good dictator, Arafat has left no clear line of succession for after he's gone. Which means his underlings must jockey for position. And one of the best ways to gain position is to be the guy who can deliver to the Israelis. And because the Israelis control the roads, airspace, ports, etc, the Palestinians can't do anything without them. That's the secret Arafat can't or won't understand. But the PA member who both understands that and can deliver what both sides need -- that's the man who will replace Arafat. And Sharon will make sure it's "someone we can do business with." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: How Can They Fix a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 11:00:25 AM ----- BODY: How Can They Fix a Game in a Straightlaced Town Like New Orleans? Headline from Sarge Stryker: "Patriots Win Super Bowl; Physicists Re-examine Nature of Universe" We can do lots of those, Sarge. Pats Win, Lucifer Waxing Skis God Declares Ram "Pagan Symbol," Smites Team Warner Throws Interceptions, Game Anyone want to add some more? You've got my email. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Ken Lay Is Still Going PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 11:17:48 AM ----- BODY: Ken Lay Is Still Going to Hell It just occurs to me that "contempt of Congress" is a redundant phrase for any thinking person. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Keep Leaving Out Belize PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 11:25:42 AM ----- BODY: You Keep Leaving Out Belize The Anglosphere is a wonderful idea, and probably a necessary bit of self-defense after 9/11. We've got a dynamic culture (even when you include the Canadians), the world's foremost military, the highest of high tech, and the free flow of information to make them all work together. What we don't have is manpower. What do we have, 400 million, tops? Manpower is the least important factor with today's technology, but it is still a factor. So where do we get the masses? India, people, India. And I'm not talking about bringing back the Raj. But look -- India is a mostly-functioning democracy, they're moving steadily westward in thought and political orientation, and English is already their language of business and politics. And wouldn't they just love to join an exclusive group where they'd carry more weight than the Brits? Just a thought. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Doesn't Matter If He's Only PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 11:36:30 AM ----- BODY: Doesn't Matter If He's Only Been Here Since Lunch Will Warren is at it again. This time, Will takes his poison quill out on those idiots at FAIR. They're the anti-immigration idiots who think we'd all be fat and happy (and white) if we'd just seal off the borders. Right. Which brings me to an old rant of mine. I know "Indian" is a misnomer, but "Native American" really irks me. I was born here, I'm a native. Native Americans aren't even "native" -- Bering Land Bridge, anyone? And now there's evidence that some aboriginal tribes have European and Polynesean and everything else roots. You know, just like the rest of us. The question is only how long ago was it your ancestors came over, not even where. We've been a melting pot for millennia. In fact, if anti-immigration idiots want to be really true to their ideas, they should all move back to the Oldavai Gorge. And take the Green Party, Earth First!ers, and preservationists with them. But the beauty of America is, we can all be native. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Spoil the Dividers No links, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 12:11:02 PM ----- BODY: Spoil the Dividers No links, since those are all on my home machine, but I collected a few weekend stories and opinions claiming we should first topple Saddam, then take on the theothugocracy in Iran. I still argue we need to do things the other way around. Let's take a look at Iran. Iran's population is at the simmer level of another revolution. You've read the stories of the pro-freedom (pro-American, even!) soccer riots. You know about all the secret satilite dishes so they can watch our TV. Their population is young, so young most don't remember the Shah now. Oh, and beleive it or not, Iranians do have experience with democracy. Not in any form we'd recognize, but they make much better prospects as members of the free world than the Iraqis or even the Kuwaitis. All we have to do is turn up the heat a little to bring that simmer to a boil. Just one good push and the Iranian government will be tossed out into the street -- and the tossing will be done by the "Persian Street." Which would give us one less very serious worry in the campaign against Iraq. Now let's look at the Iraq side. Iraq is the most primitive of barbarian thugocracies. Without Saddam's terror to hold the place together, you've got Kurds in the north who want independence (a headache for our Turk allies -- a headache we need to help spare them), Sunnis in the middle who are used to murderously running the show, and Shiites down south who would love to join their theocratic Iranian brothers. Better the tyrant more like yourself. But wouldn't it be better for Iraq's Shiites to be looking to a democratic Iran, if the country can't be kept intact? Wouldn't it be easier for us to have Iranians we can lean on first, now that we can't trust the Saudis? And southern Iraq going to Iran with our blessings would make it easier for us to give oil-rich Mosul to the Turks. (With Kurdish autonomy as a condition, of course.) And the Sunni center of Iraq will get Marshall Planned. Iran, then Iraq. It might not happen that way, but I think it makes the most sense. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I Want My Two Dollars! PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 12:20:15 PM ----- BODY: I Want My Two Dollars! Don't know how I missed Alex de Costillo for so long. His blog Fevered Rants has a Superbowl-as-metaphor-for-America piece that is neither fevered nor a rant. It's just some damn good writing that will leave you feeling damn good. A raised glass and a Permalink for Fevered Rants. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: There Was a Game on, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 12:27:42 PM ----- BODY: There Was a Game on, Damnit The promised archives and greatest hits sections are delayed, as you can see. Next week, I promise. Just gotta get out of my current daytime commitment (Thursday is the last day), and get the new computer up and running (delivery is tomorrow). Then this place will be good enough to charge a cover. Just kidding. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Arab Hospitality? Steven den Beste PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 01:15:29 PM ----- BODY: Arab Hospitality? Steven den Beste has, as usual, one of the best critiques about any subject today. This time, the good Captain analyzes Arafat's weekend NYT op-ed piece. Steven, you just left out one detail on the right of return, although perhaps it isn't germaine to your argument. But it makes a good excuse for me to talk a little shop. After Israel won its War of Independence in 1948, about 600,000 Palestinians became refugees in Egypt (via Gaza), Jordan (via the West Bank), and Syria (via the Golan Heights). This is well-known and well-reported, and, well, a pain in the ass. Less well known is that throughout the Moslem world, from Morocco to Iran, about 600,000 Jews were kicked out of their ancient homes. Many went to Israel. The Israeli refugees were welcomed by their new home. They were granted citizenship in Israel. They got jobs and built homes and had kids who are indistinguishable from "native" Israelis. "We are all Jews, are we not?" The grandchildren of the Palestinian refugees are still living in camps. Egypt and Syria and (to a lesser extent) Jordan, all preferred to keep the Palestinians in camps, where they could continue to provide a reason to hate Israel. "Look what Israel has done to our Arab brothers." Israel didn't do that -- every war produces refugees; it takes the "host" country to keep them that way. Hell, millions of Germans were kicked out of Poland and Czechoslovakia after WWII. But you don't see their granchildren living in tents. Millions of Poles were run out of Ukraine and Belarus at the same time. But you hear no horror stories of the Polish prison camps in the Pripet marshes. If Arabs ever expect peace in the Middle East, they must first make peace with their Palestinian brothers. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If That's What It Takes, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 01:39:39 PM ----- BODY: If That's What It Takes, Then Unablogger Will Never Make the Cut Kind words today from Suman Palit at Kolkata Libertarian for my India/Anglosphere piece. I'd gone over to Kolkata a couple of times, but never spent any real time reading his stuff. I'll be doing some catching up tonight -- and you should, too. A raised glass and a Permalink for Suman! I just have one nagging question: What did he do to get Posh Blogged at Samizdata? Am I finally going to have to stop long-distance hitting on Natalija Radic? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: No Wonder You Never See PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 02:10:05 PM ----- BODY: No Wonder You Never See Them Together It's official -- VodkaPundit is Tyler Durdan. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Good Tyrants Make Good Neighbors PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 03:02:16 PM ----- BODY: Good Tyrants Make Good Neighbors The government of China is making noises against Bush's inclusion of North Korea in the "Axis of Evil." China isn't afraid of US troops approaching the Yalu river again. China wouldn't mind seeing the government in Pyongyang toppled -- the Dear Leader is proving awfully dear to the Chinese treasury. And if the US did the toppling, the Chinese know we'd provide enough aid to keep millions of starving North Koreans from pouring across their border. What the Chinese dread is a democratic and prosperous Korea ruled in its entirety from Seoul. That would take away yet another excuse for the continued existence of their homegrown thugocracy, wouldn't it? So let's all be sweet to the nice tyrants in Beijing. Or -- alternate Plan B here -- not. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Pakistan Was Only Temporary More PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 03:41:54 PM ----- BODY: Pakistan Was Only Temporary More evidence that India would make a fine addition to the Anglosphere -- New Dehli is getting more and more cozy with Jerusalem. This is some fine work from Yossi Klein Halevi at The New Republic. Now throw in the de facto militray alliance between Israel and Turkey, and you have our three most important frontline allies in the War. Stay tuned. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Hey, It's Not Like They're PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 04:14:24 PM ----- BODY: Hey, It's Not Like They're Using Gas Chambers This is big, but not exactly a surprise. Iran, living up to its Axis of Evil rep, reportedly has elite Revolutionary Guards units in Lebanon. The stpry goes on to explain that they've brought rockets with them -- Russian-designed Katyushas which could (and eventually will) rain down on the northern Israeli city of Haifa. Europe, are you listening? Do you care? Do you not understand how much of your own history helped create modern Moslem anti-Semitism? And they wonder why we act alone. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: At Least He's No Pat PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 06:27:33 PM ----- BODY: At Least He's No Pat Buchanan Out of some sort of masochism, I'm watching Bill O'Reilly on Fox. It occurs to me, Republicans shouldn't be too pleased with him -- he's no conservative. O'Reilly is a populist. How long can he keep his populist stripes with the money he's earning now? Who knows. One of these days, his Bill Bennett-is-a-pussy-on-drug-policy stance is going to come back and bite his ass. (If you'll remember, it was Bill Bennett on Larry King years ago, who called for the death penalty for drug dealers. Not enough for Bill O.) Right now he's rerunning a combative interview with the late Tem Demme, director of the movie "Blow." When we finally give up on the pointless drug war, I'll be watching O'Reilly that night. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: How Far Down Would They PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 06:30:22 PM ----- BODY: How Far Down Would They Start a Tummy Tuck? Also from watching Fox, I can tell you that Greta van Susteren did indeed get her eyes done. From about the boobs up. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: For Once, Understatement Working on PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 07:14:38 PM ----- BODY: For Once, Understatement Working on creating the archives. HTML is not my friend. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Just Don't Ask for Full PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 07:30:17 PM ----- BODY: Just Don't Ask for Full Disclosure from 1989 Forgot to link this earlier. Rob Walker's Superbowl Ad Report Card is up on Slate. If you thought Rams fans were disappointed, wait until you read Walker. The worst of the bunch? You already know -- those dreadful anti-drug ads. FULL DISCLOSURE: VodkaPundit's drug of choice is vodka. Or Scotch. And Napa Valley cabernet sauvignon. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Are You Sure You Don't PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 07:32:15 PM ----- BODY: Are You Sure You Don't Mean Mengele? Enron CEO Ken Lay is missing. Insert your own Hitler-in-Argentina joke here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Mirror, Mirror Oops, guess I PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 07:38:48 PM ----- BODY: Mirror, Mirror Oops, guess I should have finished reading the thing before linking to Rob Walker's Superbowl Ad Report Card. I got to the Budweiser critique, and found this: And then there was the Clydesdales ad. Part of a general Bud onslaught (see below), this spot has the iconic Clydesdales tromping through bucolic landscapes and, eventually, across the Brooklyn Bridge. From a field, the horses observe the Statue of Liberty, and, indeed, they bow down before it. This is almost certain to be the most-mocked ad of the game. And yet, I found it oddly moving. Probably this reflects very, very badly on me. B. Getting moved by patriotic images during wartime -- and he thinks this will reflect badly on him? To whom, Rob, to whom? I usually enjoy Walker's Ad Report Cards. Probably this reflects very, very badly on me. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Test... PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 11:14:32 PM ----- BODY: Test... ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Second test... PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 11:24:19 PM ----- BODY: Second test... ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We're having issues getting the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 11:31:13 PM ----- BODY: We're having issues getting the links and the archives to work at the same time. Bear with me. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: There's still family business to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/04/2002 11:50:02 PM ----- BODY: There's still family business to deal with and a new computer to install. Expect the links back Wednesday. Sorry, kids -- but I promise there will still be fun, amusing, and challenging posts. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: OK, every time I add PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/05/2002 09:01:59 AM ----- BODY: OK, every time I add any link to this page, my archives are screwed. Any suggestions? Other than re-programming the computer with a mallet, I mean. Tried that already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Hell, all I have to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/05/2002 09:26:28 AM ----- BODY: Hell, all I have to do is change the slightest bit of this damn Blogger code and my archives throw a tizzy. What's up with that? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Grrrr. PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/05/2002 09:29:24 AM ----- BODY: Grrrr. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I am saying very, very PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/05/2002 09:35:01 AM ----- BODY: I am saying very, very bad words this morning. And lots of them. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Can anyone give me one PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/05/2002 09:40:38 AM ----- BODY: Can anyone give me one good reason not to just get my own domain and do all this with FrontPage? Blogger is convinced that if I change so much as one character in the entire template, then I shouldn't be allowed the use of archives. That's no exaggeration. Microsoft, here I come... ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Writes the NYT editorial page PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/05/2002 11:00:41 AM ----- BODY: Writes the NYT editorial page today: The Bush budget is a road map toward a different kind of American society, in which the government no longer taxes the rich to aid the poor, and in fact does very little but protect the nation from foreign enemies. They say that like it's a bad thing. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I might not have figured PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/05/2002 08:12:56 PM ----- BODY: I might not have figured out my code problem, but the new computer is up and running -- if not yet set to my odd ways. Tomorrow we'll be back to normal. With or without the links! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Happy birthday, Ron. PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 10:05:59 AM ----- BODY: Happy birthday, Ron. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Happy birthday, Ron. PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 10:05:59 AM ----- BODY: Happy birthday, Ron. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: First Curling, Now This Taking PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 10:11:33 AM ----- BODY: First Curling, Now This Taking a public relations cue from the same agency the House of Saud must use, the International Olympic Committee has banned outright displays of patriotism by Americans and the new flag of the interim Afghan government. (Although something tells me the IOC would be just fine with more Black Panther fists) Drudge has the scoop over on his site. No word yet, however, if the IOC is going to fulfill a promise to limit "all that nasty competitiveness between athletes that's ruining the Olympic spirit." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Latest Oil Rig Doesn't PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 10:22:33 AM ----- BODY: The Latest Oil Rig Doesn't Make You Modern Wise words of advice to the Arab League from "George W. Bush," via Thomas Friedman. Best line: "There is one thing I can guarantee, though. If you don't make this offer, nothing will change, the Israeli silent majority will continue following Sharon into a dead end, and the Arab League will fall further and further behind the rest of the world. " And so true. Only two things of importance come out of the Arab world in the 21st Century, and those are oil and terrorist violence. If they want to join the real world, they have to stop exporting the second and stop relying entirely on exports of the first. To do so, they must make peace first (as I argued two days ago) with the Palestinians, then with the Israelis. Why is it Moslems can accomplish anything in any country -- except where Arabs rule? It is time for Arab governments to abandon their self-imposed exile from modernity. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: As Accurate as His Superbowl PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 11:04:12 AM ----- BODY: As Accurate as His Superbowl Prediction? What is it about the chattering class that they think they can get Bush to back down from the Axis of Evil? In his NYT op-ed piece, Michael O'Hanlon is the latest to take a try at it. First, O'Hanlon tries to give Bush an honorable way to back out of his commitment to fight the evildoers. He writes, "He implied that the United States might take strong action against all parts of this global collection of unpalatable actors." Implied? Implied? Bush said everything but the old kick ass/chew bubblegum line. But in the non-absolute world of leftwing punditry, I suppose even the strongest statements are just mere implications. Then this gem: "This is particularly true of North Korea and its tyrannical ruler, Kim Jong Il. North Korea remains heavily armed and threatening, and largely as a result of its excessive military spending, its citizens are extremely poor." Take away North Korea's defense budget and add it to, oh, building decent farms and food distribution system, and guess what you have? You still have a desperately poor and hungry country. Military spending didn't bankrupt North Korea, communist "economics" did that. The next bit is truly priceless. "We can work with Kim Jong Il — provided that we are smart about how we do it." Uh-huh. Michael, unless by "smart" you mean "smart bombs," then no, we can't. The Dear Leader is out for one thing -- to keep his own ass alive and in power. (The two are the same thing. For proof, see Mussilini, Hitler, et al.) The slightest relaxation and he's gone. And he knows it. Oh, we might be able to pull the same number we did with Gorbachev -- let him negotiate himself and his country out of business -- but Kim is too shrewd for that. VodkaPundit Bar Bet: The Chinese will help us "deal" with Kim Jong Il. If only to keep South Korea's influence to a minimum. Any takers? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Sanity Prevails The IOC has PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 11:10:23 AM ----- BODY: Sanity Prevails The IOC has reversed itself and will allow "athletes and heros" to carry the flag during the opening ceremonies. One dry martini and two very damp eyes for the IOC. Do yourself a favor and watch. The hoisting of that flag will, I think, mark the end of the beginning for us. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why We Need to Tackle PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 11:20:24 AM ----- BODY: Why We Need to Tackle Iran Before Iraq, Part II Do yourself a favor and read S. Rob Sobhani's piece in today's OpinionJournal. In it, he praises Bush's SOTUA distinction between the freedom-desiring people of Iran and their theothugcratic government. He also argues convincingly against those who would normalize relations with the mullahs in order to gain "influence." For starters, the mullahs wouldn't have it. "Were the American flag to be hoisted at an embassy in Tehran tomorrow, young Iranians would line up for miles to obtain U.S. visas." There you have it -- one good push and Iran joins the civilized world. Their people want and deserve it. And we owe it to them to help. Then think of the ally we'd have against Saddam. Best part? The Saudis would truly tremble. You can read Part I here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Best to Not Mention Evolution PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 11:25:31 AM ----- BODY: Best to Not Mention Evolution Bloomberg reports that the Saudi government has finally admitted that 15 of the 19 September 11 barbarian killers were, indeed, Saudi citizens. However, a spokesman for the Kingdom said the House of Saud was still not ready to take a firm position on the Law of Gravity and maintains that the Rams won the Superbowl in a 53-21 blowout. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This Is Not Another Order PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 11:45:41 AM ----- BODY: This Is Not Another Order from the Voices in his Head Set your VCR/Tivo/whatever for Sunday, March 10, 9pm Eastern/8pm Central to your CBS affiliate. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Next Week, Geraldo Lyposunctions His PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 12:06:29 PM ----- BODY: Next Week, Geraldo Lyposunctions His Skull Where is Sarge Stryker today? And I thought I was having blog problems. Well, I'm thinking of getting Sekimori to re-do this site for me. The plan is to give it the same look as before, only with working links and an archive. Plus a few nips and tucks here and there. Far less work than Greta van Susteren's boobs-on-up "eye job." Hey, maybe when she says eye job, she means she had work done FOR our eyes, not just ON hers. Can you believe it took this long for someone to come up with a Geraldo/lyposuction joke? If you can cite an earlier one, please let me know. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We're Not Holding Our Breath PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 12:17:22 PM ----- BODY: We're Not Holding Our Breath for the "Myanmar Libertarian" The US is hardly a libertarian Utopia, but we're still the freest, most dynamic, richest country in our weight class. So this makes Kolkata's multi-part series "Towards a Free(er) Market" such compelling reading. We have the rare privilege of watching up close as a formerly socialist, autarkic economy peacefully attempts to make the transition to a market-based, rule-of-law economy. Head over there and check it out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Worth Your Time A National PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 12:49:21 PM ----- BODY: Worth Your Time A National Review Online Q&A with Peggy Noonan about her former boss, Ronald Reagan. She talks as well as she writes. UPDATE: I just had to steal this quote from the interview: "...Some dog was brought into the Oval Office for some reason, I don't recall. The dog's running around and Reagan's doing his work. Mike Deaver comes in and says, 'Mr. President, if you don't get that dog out of here he's going to pee on your desk.' And Reagan said, 'Why not, everybody else does.'" ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: How Many for the Whole PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 01:08:37 PM ----- BODY: How Many for the Whole Lot of Them? Will Warren does it again, demonstrating in gorgeous verse why I'd happily trade a hundred lilly-white FAIR supporters for a single Mexican or Indian or Vietnamese or Congo immigrant. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Oui Were Only Following Orders PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 01:23:19 PM ----- BODY: Oui Were Only Following Orders Glenn Reynolds has been doing his always excellent job, this time collecting stories of French anti-Semitism. I always thought Vichy was a little too enthusiastic in their collaboration with the Germans. And now they don't have the "Nazis made us do it" card to play. Anyway, the good Prof points the way to this Weekly Standard article you should take a look at. Question for Sarge Stryker: How many B-1B's would it take to liberate France from Paris? Or Europe from Brussels? The headline for this story is my worst pun in ages. I apologize. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Damn Wine-Swilling Negotiation Whores "And PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 02:15:50 PM ----- BODY: Damn Wine-Swilling Negotiation Whores "And I mean it," is what Ayn Rand said is the postscript to her writing. Someone ought to tell the press here at home and governments abroad that Bush damn well meant what he said in his State of the Union Address. There are no bargaining chips, there are no fancy deals to be struck. There are simply new civilized rules of behavior for nation-states and even "non-governmental organizations" (don't you just love UN orthodoxy?) and those who don't play by the rules will be paid a deadly visit. And he means it. Carrot: You get to join the world community and maybe get very, very rich. Stick: Daisey cutter aimed by Special Forces guys with laser pointers. To read the same point, only made much more eloquently, see Ariel Cohen and Michael Kelly. In the meantime, I'm writing my congressman to see if he'll sponsor a Joint Resolution asking France to "Shut the Hell Up Already." And maybe to do something about the potholes on Platte near Wabash. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: George Bush Hanged Some Kid's PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 02:26:24 PM ----- BODY: George Bush Hanged Some Kid's Dog Somebody (Glenn Reynolds? I don't remember) linked to this The New Republic story, claiming TNR had become one of the more dynamic magazines out there these days. To which I forcefully reply, "Huh?" The first half was some interesting reporting on Tom Harkin, John Breaux, and others, telling Gore -- in modulated polibabble -- not to run again in '04. Pretty good stuff, I have to admit. But then... ...but then we get to the second half, which is a typical left-liberal laundry list of complaints against the Administration. You know the list: Tax cuts go to the people who pay taxes! Social Security reform will lead to old people getting raped by Enron! Dick Cheney wants to defoliate Alaska! Yadda yadda yadda. At least Earth First! pamphlets have pictures of cute fuzzy little animals. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why, That Would Be As PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 02:38:39 PM ----- BODY: Why, That Would Be As Silly As If Reno Kept Her Job After Waco Watching CIA director George Tenet testify before the Senate this morning, I have to admit I'd forgotten how impressive the man can be. Forthright, commanding, sensible. But his agency still screwed the pooch 9/11, and the buck is supposed to stop at his desk. He really should have resigned as soon as the dust settled, no pun intended. When the troops see the boss isn't accountable, how is any top-down reform supposed to be implemented? It might be arguable that Tenet should keep his job, but it cannot be rationally argued that no changes are needed at the CIA. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But What Does Kolkata Have PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 02:47:42 PM ----- BODY: But What Does Kolkata Have to Say on This? Speaking of the CIA, that agency reports today that the chance of war between India and Pakistan is higher than at any time since 1971. And if you'll remember, 1971 saw the war that midwifed the birth of Bangledesh (formerly "East Pakistan"). We've never had a direct confrontation between two nuclear-armed powers. What scares me isn't so much escalation as it is Pakistan's command-and-control issues with their nukes, combined with the fact that much of their government (ISA in particular) is aligned with the Axis of Evil. Loose nukes? Nukes for sale? New Dehli's soldiers can't march fast enough to overrun all of Pakistan, and I'm not sure we'd want them to, anyway. Best we can hope is that Colin Powell does a good job of keeping those two apart, or that common sense breaks out. India, having come so far these last few years, has the most to lose. It would only take one good war to set their economy back to about 1980 -- and their politics even further. Add nukes to the equation, and... let's not go there. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Do You Believe in Miracles? PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 03:09:38 PM ----- BODY: Do You Believe in Miracles? InstaPundit isn't a fan of the Olympics, and he makes some pretty damning-because-they're-accurate criticisms of the Games. Of course the Games aren't really amateur. Of course half or more of the events are idiotic pseudo-sports. Of course they don't promote world peace -- or even fight tooth decay. Of course the IOC is a hypocritical bunch of Swiss Alp-junketing pocket-liners. But you get to see the best of the best from the entire world competing in some real sports. That alone is worth some serious TV time every couple of years. And sometimes, just sometimes, you get to see a real miracle. You hockey fans old enough to remember 1980 know what I'm talking about. Besides, this year those opening ceremonies will leave you weeping. Don't let the good Professor rain on what should prove to be a fine parade. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: VodkaPundit Salute Anyone who takes PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 04:26:50 PM ----- BODY: VodkaPundit Salute Anyone who takes on Pat Buchanan with such reasoned force is my kind of guy. A raised glass and a Permalink (when we get the links working again, that is) to Kevin Holtsberry of Ideas, Etc. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Last Call If you have PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 11:15:16 PM ----- BODY: Last Call If you have a common piece of firewall software -- let's call it "Morton" -- without so much as cookie blocking or browser privacy activated, then you can't load up MSNBC.com's Opinion Page. But I've found I don't really need it that badly; I've got the Bloggospere. Also, I got to write a nicely nasty little letter to their editor before leaving them forever. A nice end to a nice day. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Last Call, Part II In PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/06/2002 11:17:37 PM ----- BODY: Last Call, Part II In case you missed it on Letterman. Top Ten Taliban Complaints About Camp X-Ray 10. "Three meals a day and none of them are goat" 9. "'Death to America' T-shirts only come in cotton/poly blend" 8. "Can't get used to this whole warm bed, cooked food, running water thing" 7. "Lying American propaganda makes it seem like Taliban is losing" 6. "Television only gets one channel and it's CBS" 5. "Achmed totally stole my skit idea for camp talent show" 4. "Have you seen the bathrooms? I've lived in caves with better facilities" 3. "Haven't gotten one X-ray" 2. "Just because you're a bearded nut in Cuba everyone assumes you know Fidel" 1. "Dude in next cell keeps bragging he used to be head of Enron" ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But You Don't Need To PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 10:35:10 AM ----- BODY: But You Don't Need To Move Your Lips If you missed it yesterday, here's a link to the latest G-File. While you're reading that, I'll finish my coffee, then have another large Lightnote blend in a desperate attempt to become awake enough to be pithy and amusing. So read Goldberg slowly. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And Canada Is the "Mostly PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 10:58:46 AM ----- BODY: And Canada Is the "Mostly OK Dominion" Michael Novak has a great column in OpinionJournal today. I just wish he'd published it on Reagan's birthday yesterday, because of this passage: Some years afterwards, in fact, U.S. arms negotiators, reminiscing over the bad old days with their now-no-longer Soviet counterparts at a happy dinner, were interrupted by a fist slamming down upon the table. "You know what caused the downfall of the Soviet Union? You know what did it?" demanded a senior general, a little flush with vodka. Some racked their brains with thoughts of missile defense, perpetual shortages of everything from soap to vodka, the U.S. military buildup. The general banged his fist again. "That damn speech about the evil empire! That's what did it!" The general was standing now, and to the questioning eyes of one American he added: "It was an evil empire. It was." The power of morality expressed in words as a simple idea. Never forget. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Dancing Pundit Men Bill PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 11:04:56 AM ----- BODY: The Dancing Pundit Men Bill Safire finally publishes a correction to his Holmes piece from way back when last month, admitting that Silver Blaze wasn't the name of the dog that didn't bark. Oh, and Bill -- it was the Blue Carbuncle. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Only If the Turks PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 11:13:35 AM ----- BODY: But Only If the Turks Don't Want It Rich Lowry becomes the latest to join Glenn Reynolds' Dump the Saudis Chorus. Lowry manages to find an angle I hadn't seen yet. The Saudis don't want us to topple Saddam for two reasons: One, they no longer fear him, and; Two, they do fear a post-Saddam, democratic Iraq. Think about that a moment. A Marshall-Planned Iraq, as democratic -- and US-friendly -- as Germany or Japan. Now there's a threat to the Repressors of Riyadh. Read the whole thing. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Blogger Might Be Slow, But PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 11:38:17 AM ----- BODY: Blogger Might Be Slow, But at Least It's Unreliable Am I the only one unable to connect to my site the last half hour? We'll be moving off Blogger in the next few weeks. I hate to put out the money for a real domain and server and bandwidth -- but Blogger seems to joy in crapping out on me. Stay tuned for details. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Have No Idea How PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 12:16:49 PM ----- BODY: You Have No Idea How Many Names He Wanted to Drop Just Now Back to OpinionJournal for a moment, where Kimberly Strassel wrote a particularly damning essay about the wide, wide gulf between the International Olympic Committee's lofty ambitions and its taudry reality. I still love the Games, and always will. But if we can sweep away a barbarian horde in Afghanistan while hardly breaking a sweat, surely we can clean the IOC's house in Switzerland. Colorado Springs, where I live, is an Olympics-heavy town. The old Broadmoor World Arena was once home to almost all our skaters, who still come here for final training in the rarified air at 6,000 feet. The US Olympic Training Center is just a few miles from my house. We hold tournies and competitions and events all year 'round. Hell, the VodkaFiance works for the head of the United States Figure Skating Association, also HQ'd here. I was raised a flatlander in St Louis -- but my Olympic-minded cousin (now an international skating judge) moved here to train 22 years ago, and I fell in love with this place visiting him. And towns don't come much more clean than this one, even at the OTC. If we can do it here, we can make them do it there. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Nothing Wrong with Europe Except PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 12:46:18 PM ----- BODY: Nothing Wrong with Europe Except for All Those Damn Europeans From Sarge Stryker's blog: The VodkaPundit asks: "Question for Sarge Stryker: How many B-1B's would it take to liberate France from Paris? Or Europe from Brussels?" Dude, I don't think it's worth the gas. Besides, there's the possibility, however remote, that an American might die doing this feat. They're not worth the life of one American. Perhaps the French Foreign Legion, with its stellar combat record, can do the job... In all seriousness, a weak Europe might be to our (and the world's) benefit, at least in the short term. The long run problem with a weak Europe, of course, is you eventually get a Mussolini or a Hitler or a Stalin who comes along, promising to make them all strong again. And then we have to put our boots on and clean our rifles. Europe's civil wars just this century have cost untold millions of lives. We traveled as freight in cargo ships to move here from Europe. We go back to sightsee in luxurious cruise ships. And sometimes we have to hit their beaches from Higgins boats to clean up their messes. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why Won't he Go Back PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 01:43:47 PM ----- BODY: Why Won't he Go Back to Bitching About the News? Forgive the posting dearth today. Not much has grabbed my interest or tickled my funnybone -- plus I'm still working on the ancient computer I was bitching about last week. The one that's crashed four times already today because I sometimes use more than one window. Also, I've been loading up Samizdata for -- seven minutes at last count, and still not done. Tomorrow, it's back to normal. Days spent at home, cruising the news, posting to the blog on the new 2.2GhzP4 (neener), and yelling at the broker. Hell, it'll back back to normal in about four hours. Whew! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's a Lousy Place to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 02:15:05 PM ----- BODY: It's a Lousy Place to Visit, But You Wouldn't Want to Live There As someone who spent two years living on Geary near Polk in SanFran (the heart of the Tenderloin), DailyPundit's rant on how tough (yes, tough) SF is was like a blast of smoggy air. I mean that as a compliment to DailyPundit and a slam on SF. Read it here. UPDATE: So far, I've been trying to post this snippet for 20 minutes, thanks to Blogger or this machine -- I don't know which. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: San Francisco -- A Commuter's PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 02:59:39 PM ----- BODY: San Francisco -- A Commuter's Tale Exit apartment building on Geary, give cigarette to the nice bum who claims to be "trying to get my sax out of hock." Walk one block down Larkin to Post. Along the way, scurry to avoid the semi-attractive woman. She'd be fully attractive were she not weaving, smiling, and naked save for one combat boot, what might have once been sweatpants, and a loose, open denim jacket. The one breast I see is perfectly-shaped beneath the filth. Wait two minutes or less for Geary bus downtown, handing out two more cigarettes to bums and turning down one proposition from a male hooker. Get on bus, try not to touch anything or anyone -- difficult to do while standing and bus is coming to a stop. "Grime" is the word stuck in my head. Get off bus at Market Street, in the heart of the Financial District. Skyscrapers tower overhead, but at ground level, the stench of human urine is almost overwhelming. Get ready to hand out more cigarettes during the two-block walk to Shacklee Terrace. Inside the door -- clean air, clean floors, clean people. Won't have to endure Hell again for eight more hours. All the above happens in less than fifteen minutes. All of it happens before 7:00 AM. The commute home will be worse. By late afternoon, the bums will all be awake, they will all be drunk or drugged out, they will be more aggressive and maybe no longer placated by my offer of smokes instead of cash. And in San Francisco, they have more rights than I do. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: "If Everyone Just Made Less PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 03:48:21 PM ----- BODY: "If Everyone Just Made Less Money, We'd All Be Richer." Eric Alterman, normally too stupid to put out a fire if it was on his nose, really outdoes himself today. "According to just-released government figures, the number of Americans with million-dollar incomes more than doubled during the second half of the ’90s." Alterman lists this as a complaint. More people doing better is a bad thing, says Eric. So I'm just guessing here, but it must really warm his cockles whenever some poor slob takes a pay cut to keep his job. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: How Many Pundits Does it PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 03:58:34 PM ----- BODY: How Many Pundits Does it Take to Get the Same Point Wrong in the Same Way? Micheal Moran, also at MSNBC (why do I bother?), is the latest to try to hang Bush's State of the Union Address with coalition rope. Next to a very goofy picture of the President are the words: "With a strident tone and unrealistic expectations, Team Bush is squandering the good will of its allies." What is unrealistic about civilization protecting itself from barbarians, wherever they may be found? What is strident about calling people who threaten to nuke Israel "evil?" What use is the good will of allies when they neither have any good will for us nor act like allies? Answer those three questions before writing another word, Michael. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And Byrd Claims O'Neill Used PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/07/2002 04:26:40 PM ----- BODY: And Byrd Claims O'Neill Used to Wet the Bed Here's something I'm sorry I missed today -- an emotional exchange between SecTreas Paul O'Neill and Sen. Robert Byrd. Apparently, O'Neill not-so-subtly reminded the world of Byrd's past as a Klansman. Link here courtesy of Drudge. Check it out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: T.G.I.F. and All That The PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 11:18:59 AM ----- BODY: T.G.I.F. and All That The weekend is starting a bit early -- and we're working on the new look. So fewer posts today, but things will be back to freakishly normal on Monday. Meantime, go read Krauthammer. His subject is why Arafat must go -- either just go away or go the nine millimeter retirement plan (also sometimes called "coup flu"). Best line about The Bearded One? "This is Lucy and the football. How many moments of truth does a liar get?" According to Krauthammer, the answer is: No more. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Half a Dozen Stingers for PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 11:35:47 AM ----- BODY: Half a Dozen Stingers for One Little Pony Keg of 3.2? Outrageous! We now have more soldiers patrolling Utah than we do Afghanistan. An odd bit of trivia, with one worrying detail. Where are the men going to get their beer? I'm far less worried about a terrorist strike in Salt Lake City than I am about restless troops with no beer. It's one thing to go without in the Arabian desert. There was a real war on, in a real foreign country, and you were out in the middle of damn nowhere. Flash forward to 2002. You're in a (supposedly) American city with no real work to do and the biggest party in the world going on right in front of you. Man, this could get ugly. Kidding, of course. Our men and women will do just fine. My only hope is they actually get to enjoy some of the Games. They've earned it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If He Stopped Making Sense, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 12:19:52 PM ----- BODY: If He Stopped Making Sense, Would He Become David Byrne? Andrew Sullivan reports that U2’s Bono is now making sense. Forget the Apocalypse jokes for a minute, this is truly serious. For a loudmouth idiot who hasn’t put out a decent album since “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” this is big news. But I’m more likely to take Bono’s opinions on Third World debt relief seriously than I am to ever buy a copy of “The Joshua Tree.” ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: That's An Awfully Big Attack PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 12:22:54 PM ----- BODY: That's An Awfully Big Attack Helicopter Just to Make an Arrest Something you should read over on the NYT op-ed page that WON’T raise your blood pressure. Nicolas D. Kristof, who I’m really starting to respect, does some fine reporting on the barbarians we’re helping fight in the southern Philippines. Kristof says that the Abu Sayyaf rebel group isn’t a rebel group at all. Merely a bunch of thugs who kidnap for money -- common criminals, really, he claims. Which means Kristof is helping make my point – that whether they claim to be terrorists or rebels, they’re all barbarians and need to be handled as such. Marxist, Islamist, Separatist… forget it. Barbarians is the word. Good reading. Check it out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Ken Lay Also Chews With PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 12:25:25 PM ----- BODY: Ken Lay Also Chews With His Mouth Open Most everything that needs to be said about the collapse of Enron (other than the occasional reminder that Paul Krugman used to whore for the company) is said today by the Wall Street Journal’s Daniel Henninger. As a libertarian, I don’t believe in the government enforcing social norms. But as a civilized human, I know that individuals have to do so – or everything goes the Enron route. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: His Fiance is Working All PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 12:29:27 PM ----- BODY: His Fiance is Working All Weekend, So Give Him a Break Here This, quoted in its entirety from Lucianne.com: All Chair, No Whip: Greta von Susteren rounded out her first week of seeing the world through new eyes with a confrontation with Dick Morris that shows her Clinton-loving ways aren't going to fly at Fox. At least not with their regular contributors. On last night's show, Dick went so far as to tell her, as she frantically tried to spin the Clinton line on terrorism efforts, that she was - gasp! - "still a CNN person." It was amazing to watch her former face return. That's a great big bed over there at Fox. Everybody get comfy and no pinching. (Final transcript will be posted when complete.) I'll keep my eye out for the whole transcript for you. Could be some fun weekend reading. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Problem Is, Not Even the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 12:36:13 PM ----- BODY: Problem Is, Not Even the Turks Want Syria Back Glenn Reynolds got the ball rolling with his call for a Hashemite or Kemalist Arabia. Then most of the sensible part of the Blogosphere joined in. Yesterday, Tim Lowry over at National Review Online piped up, and now, Tom Gross at NRO does the same thing. Where does it go from here? Who knows -- but it will get bigger. Read this line: "The Saudi regime — not merely its exiled son, Osama bin Laden — bears a major share of the responsibility for international terrorism." Notice he reports "the Saudi regime." Not just some misguided Arabian youth, but the government itself. If GWB becomes convinced of that (if he isn't already) then we know what he'll do about it. While Gross doesn't go so far as Reynolds or other bloggers, he comes close. House of Saud, your days are numbered. UPDATE: No matter how many ideas NRO borrows from Blogland, Jonah Goldberg will probably still never admit that The Corner (no link!) is a blog. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And We'll Give Volvo Back PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 01:17:55 PM ----- BODY: And We'll Give Volvo Back to the Swedes DailyPundit's William Quick reminds us of a point I first saw approximately ever ago, then forgot about. Namely, Japan's financial problems are far from over -- because when a bubble pops, it crashes lower than when it launched. Lester Thurow (I think it was him) made the same point back in the mid-90's, but it's easy not to think about Japan. Anyway, Quick does a great job with this, including fancy charts of the Dow during the Great Depression and the Nikkei since it collapsed. Conclusion: Japan is gonna keep digging before it can start climbing again. Well, that's assuming their graying population, shrinking workforce, declining birthrate, and uncontrolled deflation ever allow them to climb again. Now if only the Germans would do something equally stupid, we could get Chrysler back. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He Forgot to Ask for PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 01:24:26 PM ----- BODY: He Forgot to Ask for a Discount Before Placing This Ad Sekimori tells me she's working now on my new template. No major changes, but some big improvements. Check out her work here and her blog here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Also Known As "Dry Dreams" PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 01:57:20 PM ----- BODY: Also Known As "Dry Dreams" A valuable history lesson from Victor Davis Hanson. I thought I'd made a couple of his points already, but a search through my posts comes up blank. Must've been one of those dream-posts -- and, yeah, I've had a couple. Scary. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Putting the "Wee!" Back in PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 02:11:51 PM ----- BODY: Putting the "Wee!" Back in Weekend My favorite newish blog, Douglas Turnbull's Beauty of Gray, has a facinating post on what it takes to play in the big leagues, army style. Not only does a decent tank cost a few million bucks, but the R&D alone breaks most national banks, says Douglas. However, he left out two important points. First, you also need the industrial know-how and machine tools. Only a small handful of nations can work with depleted uranium to make shells for an A-10 or sabot rounds. Very few indeed can even conceive of Chobham armor, much less manufacture it. The list goes on. Secondly, and this is the important bit, tank and attack choppers and air-superiority fighters just don't matter as much as they used to. We live in an age of asymmetrical warfare. Most Arab nations can't cope with modernity enough to do much more than buy second-rate Soviet or Chinese weapons, coupled with training and doctrine that are third rate at best. But what does that matter when you can take a Boeing 767 and turn it into a human-guided cruise missile? How can even the most recent variant of M1 Abrahms defend against a computer network attack? How many F-16 squadrons does it take to defend an Israeli housewife and her daughter from a barbarian with a pistol? Saddam Hussein didn't invade Kuwaiit again last year -- but he did provide intelligence and training to our attackers. I'm not saying the situation is hopeless -- far from it. This is a war we will win. What I am saying is that we live in a new world, one in which holding the Fulda Gap means little compared to holding pre-emptive intelligence. We can always liberate enemy-held territory. But how do we liberate enemy mind from hatered or re-take the innocence buried in the wreckage of the World Trade Center? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Extra Space is for PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 02:22:29 PM ----- BODY: The Extra Space is for the Patriot Missile Battery If NYC Mayor Bloomberg thinks he has his hands full with the city's always fractious factions, just wait until the real fight begins over what to do with the site of the WTC. Everybody with an opinion -- about six out of every five people -- thinks he knows exactly what should be done with the site, and no two opinions agree. In fact, most of the "big" ideas are so completely opposed that no compromise seems possible. So I'm going to defer to former Mayor Ed Koch, who says the Twin Towers should be rebuilt exactly as they were. Except for one little detail, Mr. Mayor: They should be exactly one story fuckin' taller. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: James Taranto Apes VodkaPundit! This PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 02:50:09 PM ----- BODY: James Taranto Apes VodkaPundit! This just in from today's Best of the Web: Osama bin Jafar Faqih, the Saudi trade minister, is siding with Iran's mad mullahs against America. "Not only do the threats of Bush against Iran not damage relations between Iran and Saudi Arabia, but they strengthen ties between the two countries," Agence France-Presse quotes Faqih as saying. It's not surprising that Saudi Arabia would side with the Iranian tyrants; a free Iran across the Persian Gulf would make the repressive Saudi regime look that much worse by comparison. Now, let's compare that to one of my recent posts: Iran's population is at the simmer level of another revolution. You've read the stories of the pro-freedom (pro-American, even!) soccer riots. You know about all the secret satilite dishes so they can watch our TV. Their population is young, so young most don't remember the Shah now. Oh, and beleive it or not, Iranians do have experience with democracy.... ...wouldn't it be better for Iraq's Shiites to be looking to a democratic Iran, if the country can't be kept intact? Wouldn't it be easier for us to have Iranians we can lean on first, now that we can't trust the Saudis?" If you search through the archives, you can find several references to my "First Iran, Then Iraq" proposal, going all the way back to my second post. Advantage: VodkaPundit! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Wait Until You See the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 08:42:57 PM ----- BODY: Wait Until You See the Snowboarding Sloths Watching the Opening Ceremonies of the 2002 Winter Olympiad in Salt Lake City, I think Bob Costas speaks for all the peoples of the world when he says, "There's nothing I enjoy more than a bunch of skatin' coyotes." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Do You Believe In Miracles? PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/08/2002 10:06:56 PM ----- BODY: Do You Believe In Miracles? How perfect was that? In a typically American act of defiance towards anyone who doubts our resolve, our 1980 gold-medal-winning, Soviet-juggernaut-defeating, hockey team lit the cauldron in Salt Lake City. Words fail me. Oh, and a Raised Glass Salute to the first person who can tell me what team we beat in 1980 to win the gold in hockey. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Stacy Tabb of Sekimori is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/10/2002 11:50:30 AM ----- BODY: Stacy Tabb of Sekimori is busy working on the new design, but we're still having an issue or two. Love what she's done, and hope you can wait until we're completely back in business Monday. Enjoy what's left of the weekend, kids. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Gander is Soused OK, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/10/2002 09:42:42 PM ----- BODY: The Gander is Soused OK, Stacy and I finished troubleshooting the template and all is now well. Don't even ask what the solution was -- it's too incredible even for fiction. Meantime, I hope to have all the links back to where they should be sometime Monday. The plan was to finish all that tonight, but we overindulged a wee bit on the Cab Sauv over at the in-laws-to-be's house, so I'm just not feeling up to it right now. However, I can promise you that tomorrow's hangover should lead to some deliciously cranky commentary. Salud! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Dogs and Cats Not Living PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 10:52:46 AM ----- BODY: Dogs and Cats Not Living Anywhere Near Each Other There's a long -- but worthwhile -- piece in OpinionJournal today on Red and Blue America by Blake Hurst. Spend some time with it today. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Only Web-Site With that PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 10:56:22 AM ----- BODY: The Only Web-Site With that Clean, Fresh Scent New features! Not only did Stacy Tabb get the archives working, she also added a fun little comment feature. At least now you'll have an easier way of venting back at me. Also, I'm busy putting together a Greatest Hits page, as well as rebuilding all the links. Hang in there. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Y'all Come Back Now, Y'hear? PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 10:58:51 AM ----- BODY: Y'all Come Back Now, Y'hear? Go read today's Non-Sequitur. No arguments, just do it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Someone Feed Him Some Politics PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 11:11:05 AM ----- BODY: Someone Feed Him Some Politics Already In a display of... something, NBC continues to draw record viewers for the Olympics in Salt Lake City. Drudge has the numbers in a storyless header at the top of his page. As a big fan of the Games, I find this distressing. NBC's coverage is saccharine, over-blown, and -- to borrow from Holden Caufield -- it's phony. Maybe we should be happy that in the uncertain time of war, Americans can come together from across a continent, even if just in front of their televisions. And yet -- if only ABC still broadcast the Olympics. Say what you will about him as a person, but Roone Alderidge knew how to make sports work on TV, without all the rags-to-rags-but-look-what-a-competitor! background stories that NBC feels it needs to spoon-feed us. Look, we know already that athletes have to wake up very early and work very hard for a very, very long time to make it to the Games. We know that cancer or MD or whatever disease is in the athlete-of-the-moment's family is just awful. Really, there's no need to give us much more than the briefest of bios -- qnd then show us some damn sports! And two more things -- somebody send Tom Brokaw a speech therapist and, please, someone punch Katie Couric right in the mouth. Forget the sizzle, damnit. Serve us the damn steak already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Short, Bright Tea-Time of PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 11:51:30 AM ----- BODY: The Short, Bright Tea-Time of Iran "Hundreds of thousands" of Iranians rallied against the US this weekend in Tehran. The mob was reportedly all stirred up about President Bush's inclusion of Iran in the Axes of Evil. It just ain't so. First, inciting a mob is one of the easiest things for a dictatorship to do. People know they're being watched, and act accordingly. Also, protesting is kinda fun. Ask anyone born from 1946 to around 1955. You get to dress down and carry sign and chant slogans. And there's some great comradery. Also, you get to prove your street creds to young women, who might be willing to show some horizontal appreciation for your dedication to the cause. Second, compare these semi-state-planned riots to the spontaneous ones in Iran last year. You remember -- the pro-American, pro-Freedom, pro-let's-get-rid-of-the-Mullahs. A real riot doesn't start with a time broadcast on the official TV station. Here's the telling line from the AP report: "State television reported that millions of people took part in similar rallies staged in all major cities." [Italics mine] "Staged" is right, people. The guys with the army and dank prisons announce there's going to be a riot downtown at three. You'd rather sit in front of the tube and watch pirated American movies, but your neighbor is a pretty pious sort, and you're worried he might mention to one of those scary government guys your lack of enthusiasm. So you go and wave your arms and shout and have some fun. Want to start a real riot in Iran? Announce that months of secret preparations are complete, and we'll be supporting the armed democratic opposition working out of Pakistan and Turkey. The theocrats will have their backs against the wall by lunchtime. Say, is Ceaucescu a verb yet? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Content Suitable for Political Junkies PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 12:04:58 PM ----- BODY: Content Suitable for Political Junkies Only We never got to see the real Reagan, and he's gone now. Unfortunately, we saw all too much of the real Clinton. President GW Bush is stage-managed as well as Reagan, but with his... interesting past, he's probably, well, a lot more interesting in real life than Clinton. Which is why I'm eager to see this film by NBC producer (and Congresswoman's daughter) Alexandra Pelosi. Bush apparently took a liking to her and her HandyCam during the 2000 race, so she got a look at Bush without Mike Deav...oops! without Carl Rove there to take care of the look and the message. No word yet on when or where the documentary will be released, but I'll keep an eye out for you. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Airport Security Joke #1,000,006 Theives PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 12:08:49 PM ----- BODY: Airport Security Joke #1,000,006 Theives made off with six million bucks from Heathrow Airport. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: NATO Can't Even Make the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 12:37:31 PM ----- BODY: NATO Can't Even Make the Trains Run on Time The call grows amongst the bloggers to kill NATO. First Steven Den Best and now Sean McCray. These guys run two of my favorite blogs, so I hate to disagree with them, but... NATO is still (marginally) useful. And, while this may be anathema amongst libertarians, we ought to stay in NATO for some of the same reasons we need to keep the UN around. Let's look at the UN first. The UN is like your nosy next door neighbor. She's the do-gooder type who always meddles in business that's no affair of hers. She gossips, she pries, she fusses. Oh, and she's almost always wrong. She tells you your roof shingles aren't quite perfect -- but her yard is nothing but crabgrass, her house hasn't seen fresh paint in a double decade, and her windows are cracked. And at Halloween, she's the one person who hands out trail mix and pennies instead of Snickers. Also, she wastes billions of dollars every single year and her diplomats get all the good parking in Manhattan. (OK, so I kinda lost the metaphor there at the end.) Nevertheless, we should keep the UN. We live in a world that is horribly scarred by two world wars and a century of Holocaust, ethnic cleansing, tribal violence, terrorism, Cold War, nuclear proliferation, etc. Because of all that nastiness, the world sometimes demands the appearence of multilateralism. Clinton was no Napolean (well, maybe a Napolean III), but that doesn't mean the rest of the planet would let him invade Scotland for no good reason and without some permission from the world at large. Now keep in mind, we only have to follow the UN multilateral script during non-vital wars, such as the one against Saddam ten years ago or defoliating France. But in the current war against Saddam, the world can get screwed -- we'll do what we have to. And the world knows it. But I digress. The UN has a few decent agencies, can do the peacekeeping after we win the war, and can give us political cover for the things we want to do but don't necessarily need to do. And NATO is no different. So why keep them both? Good question, I'm glad I thought of it. NATO is the rich, western, democratic subset of the UN. NATO, in other words, is made up of the UN members who actually count for something. (Yes, I'm leaving out Japan and Australia and others, but this is a simplified argument.) For truly European affiars, NATO is the cover we need, not the UN. Remember Kosovo? It was too small to spend our political capital at the UN, but too big to be left to France. Ergo, NATO. The fact that we had to do all the heavy lifting while Italy contributed little more than carping matters not one whit. And I've saved the clincher for last. North Atlantic Treaty anchors Germany to the West. During the Cold War, US V and VII Corps weren't in West Germany just to keep the Russians out, they were also there to keep the Germans in. We seem to remember that less and less as the Greatest Generation dies off. But without a strong US presense in the center of Europe, someone is going to fill that vaccum -- and we've already been down that road twice before. It's either going to be us or the Germans -- and I choose us. Let's not dump NATO just yet. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We Wish Him Well Web PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 05:28:48 PM ----- BODY: We Wish Him Well Web publishing is losing one of its real pioneers. Michael Kinsley announced today that he is stepping down as editor of Slate magazine. Kinlsey was hired away from CNN in 1995, and he made then almost unheard move from Washington, DC to Washington state. Many of the magazine's features have become staples of the blogospere and the web as a whole. I appreciate his work, even on Crossfire, because Kinsley is never (well, almost never) a knee-jerk left-liberal. I hope Slate can keep innovating without him. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But the Iranians Can Probably PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 05:49:20 PM ----- BODY: But the Iranians Can Probably Do the Job Themselves Japan, humiliated by Perry's warships, embraced the Meiji restoration and created the first Western-style empire with an Asian capital. Following the bloody four-year stalemate in France, losing the First World War radicalized the German General Staff -- so much so, they invented the Blitzkrieg and swept through France in six weeks. Having left Vietnam more or less in disgrace, the US Army adopted a long series of reforms, in both training and doctrine, culminating in the 100-hour victory over Iraq. Winners think they'll keep on winning, but bad losses can lead to real restructuring. In the case of Germany and Japan, reform just made them more efficient conquerors -- until a second round of losses forced them to plant both feet firmly in the West. The Arab world has suffered a long string of defeats at the Western hands of Israel. Now, that could be excused by "Jewish trickery" or some such nonsense. But they're most likely about to face a long series of completely disasterous losses. Regime-changing, revolutionary losses -- the kind Israel couldn't inflict for political reasons. But the US can and may and probably will do just that. In Iraq for sure, but also perhaps Syria and Sudan, Egypt and Saudi Arabia. Could these rebukes be the wake-up call the Arab world needs to stop blaming others for their problems and make some real reforms? Could total humiliation serve as the springboard for an Arab Renaissance? I wouldn't bet the mortgage, but it's certainly a nice thought. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He's Still No Letterman I've PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 06:28:16 PM ----- BODY: He's Still No Letterman I've been entirely too serious today, but I'm not finding much to make fun of in the news this evening. So, here's a greatest comedy hit from a week or two ago. Enjoy with a lovely after-dinner cocktail. At Least There Are No Jokes About Warren Christopher Wearing a Halston Dress Former Secretary of State Madeline "This ATM Machine Line is Another Munich!" Albright today criticized President Bush's foreign policy. She was at her most critital on Bush's lumping together of Iran, Iraq, and North Korea as terror-supporting states. "That's like saying bacon and eggs go together, or lumping together the Superbowl with football. Which, by the way, the Patriots will win in a blow-out. 106-3, probably." Albright when on to explain that "the situation in Iran is much more complicated." So much so, that she strained to come up with yet another Munich analogy. "If we encourage the people of Iran to rise up against their government, that would be like... um... giving Prague to Hitler. Somehow." The former SecState, wearing a slinky little Chanel number, urged Bush to turn Gitmo into a real-life "Real World," and release videotape of the detainees there because, "the international community thinks we have lost our minds." However, Albright was unclear whether she was referring to the country as a whole or to herself. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Will They Swap Wives, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 06:44:56 PM ----- BODY: But Will They Swap Wives, Too? Sean McCray has some suitably harsh words for Al Gore in 2004. Everybody has been jumping on this bandwagon, making Glenn Reynolds think Gore must have some good chance left, after all (That's why I like Glenn -- I do my investing counter-market, too). All this leads me to today's Stupid Bar Bet: The Dem ticket in 2004? Lieberman/Gore. Hey, Gore was a good vice president the first time around. He went to all the right meetings, traveled to all the right funerals, served as the butt of all the right jokes -- he's a natural. And Lieberman is MUCH more likeable than Weird Al at the top of the ticket. Who's yer alpha male now, Al? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Costas Sure Has Nice PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 07:34:27 PM ----- BODY: But Costas Sure Has Nice Teeth Junk Yard Blog had some lovely words about the Olympics yesterday -- and a well-reasoned trashing of NBC's coverage of the Games. I covered the same ground this morning, just not nearly as well. Bryan made a point I'd missed, concerning Bob Costas ruining the entry of the WTC American flag into the stadium. Now, Bob Costas is the smartest man on television. Unfortunately, he knows this. So we'll never get him to shut up. FULL DISCLOSURE: I like Costas because we're both St. Louis boys, we both got our starts at KMOX (although I was a mere intern), and we both think we know everything. Bob ended up with the better media career, but I still have better hair. I only pick on him because I have no TV shows and he has, at last count, all of them. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Mentioning Natalija Radic and PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 09:04:55 PM ----- BODY: But Mentioning Natalija Radic and Porn Still Gets More Hits If she keeps being this fun and amusing, I'm going to have to permalink Hawk Girl. As a relative newcomer, Emily Jones might not be a charter member of the Bellicose Women's Brigade, but she's certainly the most gung-ho junior officer. A Raised Glass Salute to Give War a Chance! Ed. Note: It took me over an hour to post this. What's wrong with Blogger tonight? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He Did Come out in PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 09:44:33 PM ----- BODY: He Did Come out in Favor of Tooth Decay and the Argentine Banking Crisis Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle has apparently abandoned his political strategy of praising President Bush's war strategy while slamming him at home. He has also, apparently, abandoned any further political ambitions. In this AP story, Daschle came out against Bush's labeling of Iraq, Iran, and North Korea as an Axis of Evil. With Bush's war numbers in the stratosphere and the American public willing to pursue the War, Dashcle's comments were about as politically inept as coming out against Santa Claus and non-Oval Office oral sex. Daschle may be good at bringing home the bacon, but even so, how long will his Red State voters in South Dakota be willing to put up with him? This could be an interesting show come November. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Last Call Tom Daschle now PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/11/2002 11:54:37 PM ----- BODY: Last Call Tom Daschle now says he supports the war effort "1000%." Well, we know from his economic speech in December that he can't do math, but that sounds like an awful lot more than is actually possible. Especially when he doesn't. At the same time he claimed that 1000%, he also stated Bush was "wrong" about the Axis of Evil. Which is it, Tom? Do you support the President or is he wrong? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Once again, Blogger has eaten PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 12:32:09 AM ----- BODY: Once again, Blogger has eaten my code. Stacy will be working on it ASAP. Meantime, sorry about the bad story links. As Sherman said, "War is Blogger." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He Would Like to Go PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 10:29:48 AM ----- BODY: He Would Like to Go Further out on a Limb and Also Predict There Will be Commercials The Oscar nominations are out, and you know what that means -- it's time for VodkaPundit's Annual Oscar Race Prediction. (Drumroll, please) The show will go on too long, will feature some really bad songs, and few of the winners will have actually deserved it. Thank you. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Another Good Answer is "I'm PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 10:33:02 AM ----- BODY: Another Good Answer is "I'm Too Drunk to Remember" Ken Lay pleaded his Fifth Amendment protection against self-incrimination in tesitmony before Congress today. Since this whole Enron thing blew up, collapsed, choose your own over-used metaphor, Ken Lay has pleaded the Fifth and I've started drinking more fifths. As Les Nesman asked: "Coincidence? I wonder." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Chinese Symbol for "Crisis" PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 10:51:58 AM ----- BODY: The Chinese Symbol for "Crisis" is Actually Two Words -- "Oh Shit" The Washington Times (motto: "The Next Newspaper of Record") reports that China is furthering its crackdown against religious groups. Coming just days before born-again Christian President Bush visits, you have to wonder what the butchers of Beijing are thinking. Perhaps the Party thinks a strong show of force will convince the new -- and certainly young by Chinese standards -- US President of their strength. If there's one thing we learned dealing with the Soviets, it's that repression is the first sign of weakness, not strength. Any regime that feels the need to beat, arrest, torture, and imprison its people just because they don't pray in an officially-sanctioned manner is not, by definition, a strong regime. If the ChiComms can't weather a few Christians, how are they going to last under the openess and legal rigors of WTO membership? I'm not religious, but I know the power of religion in the face of tyranny. Or maybe the crackdown is like Reagan's Moscow summit with Gorbachev in 1986. Just three years before the Fall of the Wall, Moscow was in bad shape -- and looked it. So Soviet Planners, always quite thorough, figured out beforehand each street Reagan would see -- and then re-paved and re-painted all along each route. Wherever Reagan traveled, Moscow looked good. It's no coincidence that "Potemkin Village" is a Russian expression. Now the Chinese are heirs to the Communist throne, to mix metaphors. Is this crackdown a way to make sure Bush doesn't see any nasty dissent while he's in town? The Chinese are fooling only themselves, if that. While it doesn't make the papers, we know of the strikes and protests that occur quite often in China -- away from the media, away from the rich coastal cities. And I'm sure the Chinese don't beleive their own lies, either. They're just going through the motions of a dying regime. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: An Armed Society is a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 11:15:21 AM ----- BODY: An Armed Society is a Polite Society -- Eventually Anthony Swenson asks -- and answers -- the question, "when are you legally entitled in shooting someone?" Having read too much Heinlein myself, I probably have a, uh, more lenient definition than most DA's. So here is VodkaPundit's partial list of shooting offenses: Bringing infants to the movies (they'd be better off as orphans with parents that stupid) Failure to merge Failure to yield Failure to say "Bless you" (Dogma fans only) White wine with red meat Vegetarianism Openly admiring River Phoenix Berkeley Wanting to outlaw cigarettes and legalize pot Being a major-league blogger who never links me no matter how much good material I send over Thinking in platitudes As you can see, this list is far from complete. Use the little comments ("drinks") thing to add your own. This could be fun. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Next Week: A Twelve Step PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 11:49:11 AM ----- BODY: Next Week: A Twelve Step Program for People with Bad Taste Bitter Girl has a hysterical list of Daily Affirmations -- for the maladjusted. Mandatory reading. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Am I the Only One PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 12:04:11 PM ----- BODY: Am I the Only One Who Remembers the "Dueling Brandos" sketch? Dueling op-ed pieces in today's OpinionJournal. Thomas Bray argues that Enron's collapse may lead to Congress to "declare war on capitalism." Just under that, Brendan Miniter claims the hearing will generate nothing more than the usual hot air. Is it just me, or is OpinionJournal looking more like a blog? We'll send Jonah Goldberg to investigate. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Oh Goody! Peacekeeping! Stanley Kurtz PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 12:14:10 PM ----- BODY: Oh Goody! Peacekeeping! Stanley Kurtz nails it. And no, this isn't a continuation of the Blog Porn Wars. Over at NRO, Kurtz says the US is entering a time of "reluctant imperialism." The word "reluctant" perfectly captures almost all of our foreign adventures, from the Barbary Pirate War to the present day. Anyway, go read it already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And Now for Some Shameless PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 12:26:03 PM ----- BODY: And Now for Some Shameless Self-Promotion Also at NRO, Michael Ledeen has a piece greatly expanding on my argument yesterday that the huge anti-US "protests" in Iran were a bad sign for the mullahs in charge of that theothugocracy. Ledeen makes a great point I'd missed wading through the breathless NYT coverage -- 300,000 protesters in Tehran is a low turn-out, believe it or not. Back in the early days of the revolution, the mullahs could get a million or more people out on the streets. Do I need to mention this as more evidence in favor of my Iran First strategy? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Should See What He PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 12:37:31 PM ----- BODY: You Should See What He Writes About Sites He Really Likes Jim Dunnigan is one of the smartest -- and most prescient -- military affairs writers working today. Which is what makes his new article on cyberwar so frightening. Ever thought of assassination by tampering with medical records? Dunnigan has. Or electronically draining bank accounts to make it look like the problem is with the bank's computers? Dunnigan is there already. Wiping vital goverment records? Yeah, Dunnigan again. Also, Austin Bay put together a good analysis of more "conventional" barbarian threats. Both pieces are worth your time. Scary stuff on Strategy Page -- one of the best and most overlooked blogs out there. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Yellow Chicken on a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 12:43:46 PM ----- BODY: A Yellow Chicken on a Field of White French international arms sales have reportedly dropped to an eight-year low. This is surprising, given the recently-demonstrated US military prowess. At a time like this, you would expect demand to skyrocket for weapons with built-in surrender flags. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: They Really Are Watching You PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 12:54:56 PM ----- BODY: They Really Are Watching You Here's a breath of fresh air -- something not about politics, the War, or other bloggers. Instead, get yourself over to Lavasoft and download the latest copy of Ad-Aware. This nifty little (less than a meg) program scans your computer for spy software. The stuff that gathers info on your web habits, feeds ads at you, eats up your bandwidth -- you can now get rid of it in just a couple of minutes. My new computer arrived only a week ago today, and even with my firewall software, two different bits of spyware had managed to install themselves on my system. Ad-Aware axed them. I'm even going to pay to register this shareware. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: At Braves Games, Why Not PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 02:02:24 PM ----- BODY: At Braves Games, Why Not Have a Bratwurst and Some of Those Little Nuts Ted Turner is at it again. Now he's comparing Bush to Caesar and calling the barbarian 9/11 killers "brave" and "a little nuts." Where do we even begin the jokes when Ted Turner uses the phrase "little nuts?" I could prattle off at least three Castration/Time-Warner buy-out jokes without breaking a sweat. Hell, even a Jane Fonda/Castration comment or two. No nuts, little nuts, not much difference. Then there's the obvious "little insane" way to go. But really, what's the point? Ted Turner has become enough of a joke all by himself. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: More Fishbarreling The Washington Post PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 02:07:49 PM ----- BODY: More Fishbarreling The Washington Post also reports that Reuters is cutting 200 jobs. But hey, one man's cruel firing is another man's beneficial restructuring. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Breaking News Pakistan police arrested PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 02:39:15 PM ----- BODY: Breaking News Pakistan police arrested a man who might be the "mastermind" behind the barbarian kidnapping of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl. Go to the real news sites for details. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Having a World-Class Ass Helps, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/12/2002 04:23:01 PM ----- BODY: Having a World-Class Ass Helps, Too Time to do a little shopping with the VodkaFiancé, then Chinese and a movie -- so posts will be light tonight. Gentlemen, if you find a woman who likes action movies, marry her. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Bear with Him Until the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 10:30:56 AM ----- BODY: Bear with Him Until the Coffee Kicks In When Thomas Friedman is right, he can be completely, dead-on, extremely, really quite very, goddamn right. What I'm trying to say here is, you might want to take a quick peek at his column if you haven't already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Did Somebody Say Something? Also, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 10:32:40 AM ----- BODY: Did Somebody Say Something? Also, I think Maureen Dowd wrote something, but it didn't seem worth the effort of linking. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Remember This One for the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 10:38:51 AM ----- BODY: Remember This One for the Water Cooler Michael Kelly gets it, too. I can't resist quoting this line for you: On the other hand, as the foreign minister might have noticed, the French may today enjoy springtime in Paris without the annoying sounds of jackboots all over the place, and the reason for that was the simple-minded determination of the British, the Russians and the Americans to fight the Nazis and to die by the millions, in order to make the world safe for, among other creatures, future French foreign ministers. OK, OK, just one more line: The "street" in any given Arab country consists of 278 state-sanctioned mullahs already preaching death to the Americans and the Jews, five state-controlled newspaper opinion columnists preaching ditto, 577,000 state security officers making sure nobody says anything to the contrary and 73 million people who would very much like to be living in New Jersey. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Next Bombshells Will Be PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 11:01:29 AM ----- BODY: The Next Bombshells Will Be over Baghdad The Philly Inquirer drops a bombshell this morning, reporting that the Bush administration has come out of the closet with its decision to remove Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq. Let's think about that for half a sec. The President wakes up one morning and tells an aide to tell some newspaper that he's going to have a fellow head of state removed from office with military force. Cue Yakov Smirnoff: "What a country!" We haven't done anything like this since Nixon and Allende in 1973. And even that was supposed to be covert. Ed. Note: In researching this story (Googling to make sure I had Smirnoff spelled right) I discovered that Cold War relic comedian has his own theater in Branson, Missouri. I don't want to show too much Blue State snobbery here, but -- Yakov Smirnoff has his own damn theater? What a country, indeed. Anyway, back to the commentary. You might be asking how smart can it be to announce our intentions. Wouldn't it be better instead to simply strike without warning? Perhaps not. Put yourself in the cement shoes of Saddam for a moment. Bush I had you in the crosshairs but never squeezed the trigger. So you feel pretty damn invincible. The next Amercian president just wanted to ignore you, and you mostly let him, while quietly working on WMDs and supporting barbarian killers (my word choice instead of "terrorists," remember). You're fat, squirrely, and happy. Now along comes Bush II. Here's a man who brushed away an enemy regime in a inaccessable, inhospitable country in a matter of weeks. Then he casually announces, through a mere aide, that he's coming after you. Personally. What might that do to your decision-making process? How might you sleep? How long can you maintain your judgement while on constant alert? How long will your generals or security officers allow you to keep power or even live, knowing that association with you could mean their own deaths? A brilliant, brilliant move. And so simple, the French will never get it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: With Apologies in Advance to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 11:31:29 AM ----- BODY: With Apologies in Advance to Rod Dreher Former Vice President and Presidential "candidate" Al Gore emerged from his hole yesterday, didn't see his shadow, and started making foreign policy noises. "As far as I'm concerned, there really is something to be said for occasionally putting diplomacy aside and laying one's cards on the table. There is value in calling evil by its name," Gore told a Council on Foreign Relations audience Tuesday night in New York. Gore then added, "Did I mention that I, too, voted for Bush in 2000? I'm glad to call him my Alpha Male, and it was I who coined that whole 'axis of evil' line for his big speech." Gore chided the Bush team for its relationship to NATO countries, saying that America shows "impatience and disdain" for their views and military capabilities. "Really, shouldn't we wait until Germany and France and Italy develop their own high-tech weapons, then give them a chance to develop the proper training and doctrine for them, before brashly going off and fighting without them and the valuable carping they could contribute?" Gore further explained that with the Germans along, we'd have to pay more attention to environmental concerns, like protecting the forests of Afghanistan from stray bombs. "I told you already I voted for Bush, right?" ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This Story Was Vetted by PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 11:58:41 AM ----- BODY: This Story Was Vetted by the French Consolate Prior to Publication Helen Thomas, the only person whose continued animation is more shocking than Keith Richards, complains that while Bush has met four times with Israeli PM Ariel Sharon, he has yet to meet even once with PA Barbarian-in-Cheif Yasser Arafat. Here's some fun trivia for you: During the entire duration of WWII, Roosevelt met with British PM Winston Churchill on board a destroyer, in Casablanca, at Terhan -- and yet never once met with Mussulini. Can you imagine the effrontary? Roosevelt, the most powerful man in the world at that time, lavished attention on our closest ally while virtually ignoring the tinpot dictator of a small, weak country who was once silly enough to declare war on our ally. It's exactly this kind of short-sighted behavior that gives unilateralism a good name, and we can't have that. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He Could at Least Say PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 12:01:28 PM ----- BODY: He Could at Least Say the BBC Came In First I just got Googled for "TV+NAKED+ANCHORS+M1" and came in second. I don't know what to say to that. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: That Goes Double for Alec PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 12:14:20 PM ----- BODY: That Goes Double for Alec Baldwin If Robert Altman stays in this country, then the terrorists will have won. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Republican Guard Battalion Surrenders to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 02:22:07 PM ----- BODY: Republican Guard Battalion Surrenders to Guy Named Kenny Ken Adelman argues in the Washington Post today that winning a military victory in Iraq won't take the 100,000 to 200,000 combat troops that pessimists fear. He's right. VodkaPundit Bet: We take take Iraq with one heavy division or two armored cav regiments, one light division, and assorted special forces -- all supported by Air Force and Navy pilots. You read it here first. Two divisions worth of troops, compared to the nine we sent over in 1990-91. And that has less to do with the weaknesses in Saddam's armed forces than in the new force multipliers of ours. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Unlike Shays-Meehan, This Would Be PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 03:04:15 PM ----- BODY: Unlike Shays-Meehan, This Would Be a Constitutional Reform I hate to do all this linking to NRO, but James Swan has a delightfully in-depth article on how NBC reporting is ruining enjoyment of the Winter Olympics. Sure, the Games themselves have plenty of problems, such as the apparent Axis of Effete Demi-Evil between French and Russian skating judges. (Full Disclosure: I have an international skating judge as a cousin, and a fiancé in the employ of the US Figure Skating Association.) The IOC is, as I said over a week ago, a hypocritical bunch of Swiss Alp-junketing pocket-liners. And most of the sports aren't sports at all -- they barely register as activites. But there is still some damn fine competition in some damn fine sports. The Games should be a joy to watch, and would be -- were it not for scandals at the home office (IOC) and a worthless PR department (NBC). How do we fix the Games? Any suggestions? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's that Michael Greene Guy PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 03:27:14 PM ----- BODY: It's that Michael Greene Guy Who Really Needs to Relax Two Permalinks that somehow didn't survive the switch to the new template are back in action. Raise your glass to Howard Fienberg's Kesher Talk and Kevin Holtsberry's Ideas, Etc. Kevin is one of those few religious Republicans who doesn't make my teeth itch, and Howard makes my Grandfather Green look like a seriously relaxed liberal Jew -- but both of them maintain damn fine blogs that are well worth your time. UPDATE: If the headline confuses you, skip down to the Drinks section under this post. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Maybe Michael Greene Was Offended PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 04:03:08 PM ----- BODY: Maybe Michael Greene Was Offended When I Made Fun of Yakov Smirnoff Suspected al Qaeda barbarian Sameer al-Hada did the world a favor and blew himself up today in San'a, Yemen. Asked for an official reaction, White House Spokesman Ari Fleischer said, "I suppose that's one less bomb we'll have to drop." Yemeni officials say they're looking forward now to being upgraded from the Axis of Mostly Harmless Yet Annoying to the Axis of Cooperating Under Duress. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We Forgot to Mention to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 04:23:09 PM ----- BODY: We Forgot to Mention to Michael Greene That the Previous Post was Also Satire -- There Actually Is No Axis of Yippee-Kye-Ay Just when I think I'm funny, Dan at Happy Fun Pundit comes along with this. Best line: As we speak, thousands of Canadian troops are marching on Salt Lake City, prepared to deliver one of the most sternly worded letters Canadians have ever written. And if that letter doesn't have an effect, they will write an even angrier one, and they will sign it this time. Just click over and read it already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's a Record Day for PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 04:32:24 PM ----- BODY: It's a Record Day for Permalinks I'm usually more dense than even I'm aware of (which comes as no surprise to regular readers), which is probably why it took me so long to discover Richard Bennet's Omphalos. This is one seriously good blog, and deserved a Raised Glass Salute and a permalink, just on the merits of his Blog Porn Wars Post alone. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He's Also Looking for Hot PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 05:04:44 PM ----- BODY: He's Also Looking for Hot Naked Britney Spears Videos Bob Coleman is an Illinois lawyer running for state Attorney General. He's also a very, very funny man. Courtesy of Brit Hume on Fox News and this Chicago Sun Times story, we learn that Coleman has one TV ad where an unhappy baby throws up on him, and another (my fave) where he attempts to speak in the native language of some of his constituents. And ends up telling them that his uncle's chicken is dancing in his underwear. If anyone can find downloadable video of either ad, please send me the link. I'll buy the next round. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Fun to be Right PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 05:31:07 PM ----- BODY: It's Fun to be Right Way back when this blog was young and fresh -- January 15, to be exact -- I wrote, "the Euro won't [last] for just one hard economic reason: Labor has to be exactly as mobile as a currency is widespread. Are unemployed Germans really going to move to Greece during a downturn in Germany, if Greece is where the jobs are?" It's happening already. Mired in recession, Germany is busting out of the 1997 Stabilty and Growth Pact, which was designed to keep eurozone countries from sinking the new currency by using too much red ink. Originally, some worried that chronic overspenders like Greece and Italy would break the euro's back. But it takes a real powerhouse to sink an entire continent -- as Germany did twice the last century. Only this time, the Germans might scar Europe simply because they refuse to trim down their cradle-to-beyond-the-grave welfare state. Bad news to be sure, but still beats the hell out of the Wehrmacht. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Some of My Best Friends PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/13/2002 08:25:04 PM ----- BODY: Some of My Best Friends Shoot Porn This link, courtesy of Joanne Jacobs, says that porn star Nina Hartley will lecture a Jewish group on sex. Allow me to quote: Rabbi Mark Blazer asked Hartley, who is Jewish, to speak as part of his congregation's adult education series after he met her through a mutual friend -- and later learned about her career as a porn star and sex educator. I think I speak for everyone when I say, Nina Hartley is Jewish? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Insert Your Own “Beauty and PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 12:03:14 AM ----- BODY: Insert Your Own “Beauty and the Beast Policy” Joke Here Thanks to Daily Pundit for linking to this Israel National News Story. In a shocker for the ages, Yasser Arafat now admits that the Karin A freighter was, indeed, attempting to smuggle 50 tons of weapons into Palestine – a clear violation of both Oslo I and Oslo II. Arafat went on to add that he never personally knew of the smuggling beforehand, someone misinterpreted his orders to smuggle in candy, the whole thing was a just a big test for Israeli security, and the dog ate his homework. In a related story, Israeli PM Ariel Sharon announced his so-called “Pinocchio Policy.” From now on, every time Arafat lies, IDF tanks will move one inch closer to Arafat’s Ramallah headquarters. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Smaller, Cuter Iraq Call PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 12:08:12 AM ----- BODY: A Smaller, Cuter Iraq Call the cartographer – I don’t think there will be the same Iraq this time next year. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Mixed Metaphor – Hu is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 12:09:28 AM ----- BODY: Mixed Metaphor – Hu is Actually in the Bullpen, Bill Good, if earnest reporting from Bill Safire on China’s heir apparent, Hu Jintao. The good news is Hu is a trained engineer, therefore, unlike most Communist party hacks, he’s used to dealing with how reality really works. Bad news? Hu was the Party’s go-to guy for propaganda against the US after we accidentally bombed their Belgrade embassy in ’99. The worst news, back in ’89, he was the first regional boss to openly applaud Beijing’s student slaughter at Tiananmen Square. Best line on Hu: He is a Chinese Putin: sharp memory, agile loyalties, openly secretive. So he sounds like less of a hardliner, and more a man we can do business with. Frankly though, it’s a shame he’s not a Gorbachev – Hu, like much of the younger Chinese generation, might prove too much a nationalist to be reasonable on some issues. Worst pun: We all know Hu's on first. Ouch, Bill. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Another Raised Glass Salute Two PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 12:29:29 AM ----- BODY: Another Raised Glass Salute Two overdue permalinks to Junk Yard Blog and Hawk Girl. You'll find them alongside the usual suspects, down and to the left. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We Overslept a Bit. Now, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 12:25:50 PM ----- BODY: We Overslept a Bit. Now, Back to Our Regular Posting Schedule Ken Lay: Innocent Bystander. I'd ask, "have they no shame?" but we know the answer already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But We Still Get to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 12:31:25 PM ----- BODY: But We Still Get to Keep Lady Liberty When Austin Bay writes and article called "French Hiss," you know you have to read it already. Side Note: I got locked in as a Dave Barry fan years and years ago, when he promised that if he were President, the cornerstone of his foreign policy would be playing pranks on France. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Sometimes He Really Likes Being PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 12:46:03 PM ----- BODY: Sometimes He Really Likes Being Tedious It's Thursday, and that means George Will. Today he looks at the hypocrisy of politicans giving your money to pet causes because each is a "vital national interest." You know, like peanut growers -- if they loose money, then the terrorists win. Will gamely turns the argument into a stab at campaign finance "reform" with this: While Congress prepares to spend, every two years, a total of $34 billion of other people's money to cultivate the votes of just this one constituency, Congress wants to limit what Americans voluntarily can contribute to political causes. Read the whole thing. Quick Note: You may have noticed I'm virtually ignoring the whole campaign reform issue. It is, quite simply, an unconstitutional "reform." "Congress shall make no law," means that Congress shall make no law -- so what else needs to be said about it? And I'd hate to be as tedious as those endless high school essays for/against things like abortion and gun control. So I'm mostly ignoring it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Watch as the Amazing Pundini PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 12:53:06 PM ----- BODY: Watch as the Amazing Pundini Digs Himself Into Another Deep Hole! Natalija Radic in a Do Me Red dress over on Samizdata. Looks like I got my Valentine's Day gift a little early -- and it wasn't even from the VodkaFiance. Sorry, honey -- I really do have a thing for those brunettes. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Don't Ask What the Natalija PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 12:56:04 PM ----- BODY: Don't Ask What the Natalija Pic Reminds Him Of That reminds me -- who do I have to start seriously sucking up to in order to get Posh Blogged at Samizdata? Sounds like a brand spankin' new project, and just in time for the weekend. But first, I'd better catch up on the laundry. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He Gets Serious When He PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 01:03:08 PM ----- BODY: He Gets Serious When He Gets Mad As happens at least twice a year, libertarians are attacking conservatives over Lincoln and the Civil War. In a seriously over-caffeinated state last night, I jumped in with the following letter to Junk Yard Blog: Bryan, Here's a non-orthodox, small-l libertarians take on Lincoln, the South, and the Civil War. Legally, the South was correct on State's Rights -- and that, as we all should know, was the real reason for succession. But to have used that excuse to justify the continued existence of slavery? Unforgivable, inexcusable, hypocritical. The South arguing rights? The North had to fight, and the North had to win, and I'm very glad we did both. In that one small sense, Lincoln and George W Bush are alike. I might not care for their domestic programs, but one certainly proved to be the right man at the right time -- and the other one might just prove the same. Let me reiterate that first point. Slaveholders tried to make an argument based on rights? Say it out loud, and with great ingidnance. And, you can use that same line, slightly altered, on anyone trying to preserve their property at the costs of the rights of others. Give it some thought. A bottle of Stoli to the person who can come up with the best modern example of the same hypocracy. And no, I'm not kidding -- a real damn bottle. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Sure Look Pretty in PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 01:06:21 PM ----- BODY: You Sure Look Pretty in that Silky Shirt, Boy The Washington Times on how to pick out figure skating costumes for men: Garishly theatrical, blindingly flamboyant, men's figure- skating costumes operate in a parallel, Las Vegas-like universe where cheese is commonplace, bad taste is the norm and most skaters stand just a rhinestone away from complete and utter sartorial catastrophe. Sadly, long gone are the days when a man could feel confident anywhere with a dark suit and a black fedora. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: What Was the Middle Part PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 01:15:09 PM ----- BODY: What Was the Middle Part Again? Steven Den Best has (as usual) a well-reasoned essaythis afternoon, this time on how to handle Iranian meddling when we finally do invade Iraq. We've been down this road before, kids. We tackle Iran, first. Or rather, we give a big push and let Iran tackle itself. Presto-changeo, a new ally -- or at least neutral -- in the campagn against Saddam. Say it with me: Iran first, then Iraq. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Brian Boitano -- the Mike PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 01:20:45 PM ----- BODY: Brian Boitano -- the Mike Tyson of the Skating World Michael Wilbon, one of the smarter guys opining on the sports scene these days, has this to say about the Figure Skatingization of the Winter Olympics. Wilbon in right -- skating is just like boxing, only without all the sweat and ear-biting. Although I hear a lot of both goes on backstage. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Also, You Should Maybe Read PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 01:28:52 PM ----- BODY: Also, You Should Maybe Read Dr. Frank's Rant Today Do not do not do not miss Dr. Frank's rant today. There's now coffee all over my desk, and a burning sensation in both my nostrils. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Christians Killed MLK and JFK, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 01:37:19 PM ----- BODY: Christians Killed MLK and JFK, But Do We Get to Slaughter Them? Ian Dodge of Dodgeblog has a scary-yet-you-somehow-knew-that-already anecdote on modern, American anti-Semitism. Have these people no shame? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We Can't Print What Georgia PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 02:06:22 PM ----- BODY: We Can't Print What Georgia Said The New York Post reports that AOL-Time Warner officials are having to distance themselves from some of Ted Turners remarks, which one vice president referred to as "a little nuts sometimes." After reading this story, the entire city of Atlanta replied, "And now you know how we feel." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Giant Boob Found in Nebraska PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 02:17:49 PM ----- BODY: Giant Boob Found in Nebraska Police Station The Independent reports that a severed penis was found at a car wash in Hastings, Nebraska. First of all, when you say you've found a penis, then the word "severed" becomes redundant. They do not just fall off. No, not even after a weekend like the VodkaFiance and I had a couple weeks ago. Second, the story says, "According to a press release from the Hastings police, there is no evidence to support that the body part was severed at the location where it was found." What kind of evidence would that be? A man holding his bloody crotch, running in circles, shouting "Where's my penis? I had it a second ago! Right here at the car wash where it just fell off!"? Third. Apparently sick of the word "penis," the story mostly uses the euphamism "body part." But you can be damn sure they put PENIS in big letters right up top in the headline. Fourth. The police are looking into the matter as possible evidence of a homicide. OK, Chief -- first, check the morgue for penisless bodies. Correction: MALE bodies sans dick. Then ask at the hospital for men admitted for penis re-attachment surgery, only they didn't have the penis with them at the time. Failing that, look for men walking really funny. Fifth. The next line is classic: "[The police captain] said, to his recollection, this is the first time a severed penis has been found in Hastings." To his recollection. You read that right. They might have found other severed, cut-off, non-attached penises (penii?) in Hastings, but he'd have to check his files before committing to that 100%. And the paper reports that without challenge, and with a straight face. Tell me again why traditional media are losing readers and watchers? I can't seem to recall. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Ever Tried a Martini without PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 02:32:59 PM ----- BODY: Ever Tried a Martini without Benefit of a Cigarette? I missed it yesterday, so I'll link it today. Walter Williams has a good bit on quotas over at JWR. Give it a read. The only thing I don't like about Williams is that, unlike yours truly, he's brave enough to keep on smoking. Damn, I miss my Camels. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why Does He Keep Calling PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 02:39:05 PM ----- BODY: Why Does He Keep Calling it That? Also worth your time is The Economist's write-up of Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf. They start right off with the most important point: While Musharraf has been a good ally, his country can't be fully welcomed back into the world until it has settled both its past with the Taliban and its present with India. Thursdays give us George Will, a new issue of the Economist, and The Jack and Karen Show. Best weeknight there is. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Thought He Got it PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 02:54:25 PM ----- BODY: You Thought He Got it All out of His System with the Penis Story Even though it's not on tonight, it occurs to me that "Will & Grace" is now straighter than Olympic Figure Skating judging. Both my fiancé and cousin Brett are going to kill me for that one. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: There Is Not One Severed PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 03:09:46 PM ----- BODY: There Is Not One Severed Penis Joke in this Entire Post Note to James Taranto: There is no porn belt from which to dispatch. Hell, they rarely even bother with underwear. Frankly, I'm getting a bit tired of OJ's Best of the Web, and I might stop linking to it. Earlier, I caught them lifting material straight from our esteemed Sergeant Stryker -- something Sarge tells me has happened more than once. And as a Wall Street Journal publication, shouldn't BotW be more concerned with protecting free markets than with bashing Democrats? It gets a bit tiresome. I'm going to keep reading. Just perhaps not much longer. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And Have You Ever Tried PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 04:06:05 PM ----- BODY: And Have You Ever Tried to Find a Decent Taco in Marsaille? Brenda Largent writes in with some keen observations on France (Motto: We surrendered already! Honest!) I'll excerpt a few tasty bits: They refuse to allow their language to grow with the influx of foreign influences (read English) - a stultifying language is a sure sign of cultural decay. The insular approach they are taking to perserve their culture will actually accelerate the rate of cultural decay they experience. Well put, Brenda. Whenever a society attempts to suppress harmless activities, whether word choice (France), pornography (U.S.), or prayer (China), then you know something is not right with that society. The worse the oppression, the more trouble they're in. So China is tottering, France is approaching useless, and we're pretty much all right. More: Due to their insular and disdainful behavior, they are no longer regarded as the center of the word for fashion, food, wine or philosophy - their only (former) claims to fame. They have nothing to offer except a whine! Brenda is right. When Stag's Leap can produce a Cabernet Sauvignon (try the '92 Cask 23, if you can find it) in Napa that's every bit as good as a Grand Cru Bordeaux, then what the hell use is France? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Gonna Finish that Salmon? PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 04:11:29 PM ----- BODY: You Gonna Finish that Salmon? Suman Palit has a write-up of hunter-and fisherman-based habitat preservation that's not to be missed. I'm just sorry he missed mentioning the good people at Ducks Unlimited, who got the ball rolling on this before "environmentalism" was even a word. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Still, Give Him Credit for PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 04:16:49 PM ----- BODY: Still, Give Him Credit for not Mentioning "Brest" in the France Story Thanks to Jackson Murphy for linking me on his Dispatches blog. First time I've seen it, and it's good reading. I'm not sure what I did to earn it, but those severed penis stories always get the links clicking. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: So What Can I Get PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 04:21:35 PM ----- BODY: So What Can I Get Away with in a Story about Natalija Radic? Howard Fineman does everything but break out Monica Lewinski's Presidential Kneepads in this Newsweek write-up of W. Somebody tell Kevin Holtsberry they're damn near doing porn on a family site. UPDATE: When did Shiloh link me, and when did my link to her disappear? Anyway -- thanks, Shi, and I've corrected the mistake. FURTHER UPDATE: Please, Hawk Girl -- call me Steve. LAST UPDATE: The actual link to the Fineman story was missing until just now. Oops. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Wouldn't Like Him When PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 04:59:39 PM ----- BODY: You Wouldn't Like Him When He's Angry When the president of the supposedly market-oriented Club for Growth attacks Tom Daschle for not supporting the pork-barrel "Stimulus Package," then it may be time to give up entirely on so-called conservatives. I expect the President to support economic lunacy like the stimulus package -- it makes people think he's "doing something" about the economy. In modern times, the press grants the President some sort of voodoo power to make the economy grow or shrink, and savages him when he doesn't utter the proper incantations. So W makes noises that wasting our money actually helps us. Meanwhile, from the sidelines, you and me and the groups we form urge the President to ignore the press and do what's right. He strokes the press, we give him cover. That's called politics, and it's how the game has been played since, approximately, ever ago. But goddamnit -- when a group that supposedly supports free markets actually makes the case for Washington bloat, then it's time for us small-l libertarians to shout down the damn business lobby, the Christian Rite, and the Drug Warriors, and take the Republican Party back from them in the name of Goldwater. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Of Course We Need Campaign-Finance PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 05:20:38 PM ----- BODY: Of Course We Need Campaign-Finance Reform -- Look at President Steve Forbes Sensible talk -- as always -- from Thomas Sowell on Enron, campaign-finance "reform," and why Washingtonians should have dogs. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Yet It's Somehow Funny when PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 05:28:10 PM ----- BODY: Yet It's Somehow Funny when VodkaPundit is Mean and Bitter When the byline is Jack Spencer, a national security expert at the Heritage Foundation, but the picture just to the right is Rosie O'Donnell, then it becomes really difficult to read the story without Coke coming out my nose. This kind of thing gave birth to the word "juxtaposition." Believe it or not, I used to find Rosie highly entertaining and really quite funny. She had a unique, sometimes brutal worldview. Then something changed; I don't know what. But she's become increasingly shrill and bitter the last few years. Maybe being the only gay or bi woman with a thing for Tom Cruise has something to do with it. I dunno. But until you get whatever the issue is settled, Rosie, please be quiet. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Hardly Any Mentions at all PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 06:07:38 PM ----- BODY: Hardly Any Mentions at all of the Severed Penis It took far less than 24 hours to get Googled on the Nina Hartley/Jewish Sex Lecture story. But now I'll be afraid to look at my link referrals tomorrow, for fear of how many will involve a severed penis. If I ever share her email address, ask the VodkaFiancé how things get around here when I find something new that tickles me. Better yet, just post your commiserations in the "Drinks" section. For reasons I cannot fathom, the otherwise sensible Melissa actually reads this blog. It must be love. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Insert Your Own Gearbox Joke PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 06:27:49 PM ----- BODY: Insert Your Own Gearbox Joke Here Trolling for hits would be wrong, so I'm just going to quote Matt Drudge verbatim here: "Britney In Panties." This links to a Reuters story on the 19-year-old ingénue's screen debut tomorrow. But hey, one man's teenager in panties is another man's... um... teenager in panties. Wow. That should have been an easy Reuters joke, but somehow my brain got stuck in the Teenager In Panties gear. Since about 1982. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Strange Considering for Dinner He PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/14/2002 08:43:01 PM ----- BODY: Strange Considering for Dinner He Had Moo Goo Gai Pan in Swahili I just got Googled with "iran, iranian, arabian girl porn," and I came in fourth. Did I mention it was a Portugese search? That does it - I've just got to stop looking. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We Can Only Pray it PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:09:09 AM ----- BODY: We Can Only Pray it Doesn’t Go That Far Scientists in Texas have successfully cloned a kitty, an event which could eventually help lead to new human medicines and medical treatments. Ethicists, however, immediately voiced concerns that the same techniques could be used for more sinister purposes, such as a huge increase in the number of kitty-photo based web sites and blogs. This is a lone instance where maybe Congress really ought to pass a law. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Perfect I linked before to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:11:38 AM ----- BODY: Perfect I linked before to the 9/11 TV special CBS will air March 10, but there’s something new worth a mention. We already know the show will feature videotape by French filmmakers – no jokes this time; they were quite brave – who actually got inside the Twin Towers before they collapsed. What we didn’t know is the Oscar-winning actor, TriBeCa businessman, and native New Yorker Robert De Niro will host the show. As the headline says: Perfect. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Does That Mean He’d be PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:18:23 AM ----- BODY: Does That Mean He’d be a Single Woman Again? I’d be remiss if I didn’t pair these links. First, try out Peggy Noonan’s OpinionJournal article on going to war with Iraq. Then try on Sgt. Stryker’s take on the same subject. See which fits better. For my money – forgetting for the moment that both links are free -- Sarge did the better job. Peggy Noonan gets paid many thousands of dollars for her excellent work. Stryker, and the rest of us bloggers, do it largely for the love of the game. The less I read the traditional media, the better informed I feel. Your thoughts? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And They Hog the Good PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:25:11 AM ----- BODY: And They Hog the Good Monkey Bars, Too Daniel Henninger on one of the reasons why I barely talk about Enron – the whole sordid subject is usually little more than a playground for every possible kind of nutcase with a political axe to grind. Check out the whole story. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If You're Looking for Snide, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:35:31 AM ----- BODY: If You're Looking for Snide, Keep Scrolling Looking over Thursday's numbers, let me attempt a very gracious Thank You. We didn't get that many more unique visitors than usual, but the repeat page views and the average time each of you spent reading this blog were both way above normal. Freakishly above normal. I don't know what it was I apparently did right, but I will try to keep doing it. So -- thank you. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Charles in Charge It's Friday, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:45:37 AM ----- BODY: Charles in Charge It's Friday, kids, and you know what that means -- Krauthammer! Finally, someone (other than a blogger) talks sense about Enron. The key graph is this: But there is another story line that has been largely overlooked: the remarkable self-correcting capacity of that same free market. We now have dozens of members of Congress falling over each other to write new rules and regulations -- conflict-of-interest provisions, new accounting standards, etc. -- to prevent the next Enron. But it will be months, years, before any of this will take effect, and the market has already acted with a terrible swift sword. And that, my friends, is why us small-l libertarians must re-take the Republican party from the business interests who, in part, control it. Congress, even when well-intended, is still trying to come up with new toilet paper regulations while the rest of us have moved on to bidets. NOTE: Sorry, was that a bit graphic for so early in the day? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Let's Hope FTD has a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 01:19:42 AM ----- BODY: Let's Hope FTD has a UK Branch A little late for Valentine's Day, but that's my fault. Nevertheless, you really ought to read this touching little note Andrew Sullivan posted from his trip back home. MAJOR UPDATE: Sullivan hasn't just been composing little sweet nothings in Britain. He's also been writing the best stuff since before he discovered that Paul Krugman is a crapweasel. It takes a Brit to recognize an empire, he writes, and he seems to have found one. Now that we've had an accidental tourist, it seems we might have acquired an accidental empire. This is serious stuff, but written with that deft touch that makes me such a fan of Andrew's. Read it while your coffee is still hot. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Say It with Me Now: PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 01:45:24 AM ----- BODY: Say It with Me Now: "I Told You So" The headline reads: "'Axis' Speech Sarts Paying Off." Really, what more answer do the critics need? Well, I'm going to give them more answer, anyway. Had President Bush made the same speech on in late September, it would have been laughable. Imagine, smoke is still coming off the rubble in New York, the missing can't even be counted yet, and he's claiming we can kick ass halfway around the world. Saddam in Iraq and the mullahs in Iran would have stepped up operations against us and/or the Israelis after such seemingly hollow threats. Now, back to the present. Like swatting flies, the US toppled an enemy regime in a landlocked, inaccessable nation on the other side of the world in just a few short weeks. And did so on an improvised shoestring and with barely more casualties than might be expected in a peacetime excercise of the same scale. Suddenly, W's words carry more weight. And he applies that weight in a little speech called the State of the Union, with the whole world watching. And low and behold, both Iran and Iraq are at least trying to pretend to be cooperating with the US or at least the UN. Who woulda thunk it? Frankly -- most of us warbloggers have thunk it and said it for weeks and months now. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We're Announcing the Start of PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 10:46:28 AM ----- BODY: We're Announcing the Start of a New Hangover Cure Contest Nursing a wee bit of a hangover this morning, which might explain one or two of my post-midnight posts -- we get a little sappy and maudlin on the Remy. That's why we're supposed to stick with vodka while working. Anyway. The coffee is kicking in, so expect something decent soon. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This is Progress? The World PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 11:03:11 AM ----- BODY: This is Progress? The World Tribune reports that three Israeli soldiers were killed yesterday when, for the first time, Palestinians succeeded in destroying their Merkava tank. I hate to say this, and I mean no disrespect to the fallen IDF soldiers -- but at least the Palestinians were attacking soldiers instead of civilians. UPDATE: Fred Lapides was kind enough to write in with the part of the story I missed. I'll just quote Fred's letter: Stephen: nice of you to want to minimize the terror attack upon the Israeli tank--how unusual. Soldiers rather than civilians--but in fact here is what you left out: "....The IDF Spokesman said that, before the mine explosion, a roadside bomb had been detonated and shots fired at a civilian convoy of cars and a bus between Netzarim and the Karni crossing linking the Gaza Strip and Israel. When emergency vehicles and a tank arrived, the tank ran over a "very sophisticated anti-armor device," a military source said. The tank crew was driving along a dirt side road when the mine detonated. The turret was blown off, pinning one of the soldiers underneath the tank and setting it on fire, the spokesman said" In this instance, civilians did not die but were merely used as bait, though had the terrorists had their way, those on the bus would have been killed too. There you have it, kids. Even when attacking arguably legitimate targets, the barbarians of the West Bank can't help but use terror tactics. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Last Thoughts on the Blog PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 11:55:25 AM ----- BODY: Last Thoughts on the Blog Porn Wars This is adapted and expanded from a note I posted at Site-Essential.) I was born before the Baby Boomers all started getting hangovers. The product of an early Boomer mother and a Silent Generation father, I came into this world before the dawn of the '70s. And I think my fellow early GenXers might have been the last to have been raised in a world where the parents knew they had to be more grown up than the children. Look around you -- everything is baby-proof and child-friendly and family fun. Theme restaurants outnumber the dive bars. Disney cartoons on DVD outsell Magnolia. And while erotica is more mainstream than ever before, complaints against it almost always involve protecting "our children." Patriotism isn't the first refuge of the scoundrel -- "our children" are. In the '70s in my Midwestern boyhood home, it was always shown to me that the world was made for grown-ups. They did all the work, built all the cool stuff, and so if I wanted to play, I had to act grown up, too. If I wanted to act like a kid, there was always the back yard. Or on special occasions, Six Flags and Disneyland. But public places, whether the grocery store or a fine dinner out -- in those places I could either act properly and have some good times with the adults, or stay home and have kid fun with a sitter. My choice. Maybe memories just grow sweeter with time, but I do not remember eighteen screaming children running around like barbarians in decent restaurants in 1977. I'm sure I would remember, if only out of disdain for my peers. Too many of us have apparently forgotten that in order to turn children into adults, you have to give them some sort of reason to want to. I can't wait until I'm married this summer and we can start working on that first baby. But I'm afraid proper parenting is going to be even more difficult now than ever -- because in addition to the usual job of having to always set a good example, Melissa and I will be constantly fighting all the bad examples our children will see. We baby-proof the world, then wonder why there are so many people stuck in adolescence. It is not normal or acceptable for children to run and scream in office lobbies or shopping malls or restaurants. It is not normal or acceptable to encourage children, if only by implication, that the world is theirs. It isn't. It is ours -- the grown-ups. Let's start acting like it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: How Soon Before the Hate PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:02:10 PM ----- BODY: How Soon Before the Hate Mail from the Prior Essay Starts? You need to read Jack Kelly's column today. Hell, just bookmark JWR and make it a regular stop. UPDATE: If you do bookmark JWR, you are officially encouraged to ingore the hell out of Cal Thomas. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Not Another Milk-Out-the-Nose Joke! Victor PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:09:13 PM ----- BODY: Not Another Milk-Out-the-Nose Joke! Victor Davis Hanson proves again why he's the best paid webster on military affairs. Careful drinking while reading this piece. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Hate Mail Just Started. PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:14:56 PM ----- BODY: The Hate Mail Just Started. Before I Get to that, Read This The Blue Button not only has a great angry rant against Tom Tomorrow and his ilk, but they gave yours truly a warm mention in the same breath they slammed Gary Bauer. I'll be smiling all the way upstairs to the coffe pot. UPDATE: I forgot earlier to link to my own thoughts on the murder-minded Mr. Tomorrow. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Porn Wars Over, We Enter PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:27:19 PM ----- BODY: Porn Wars Over, We Enter the Blog Evolution Wars An Open Letter to Kevin Holtsberry. Kevin, In an otherwise fine post, you make the fairly common mistake of confusing Evolution the Fact with Evolution the Theory. Evolution is the fact that lifeforms change over time. Unless the fossil record is God's Little Joke, then there is no disputing the fact of evolution. Now the theory... Like ANY branch of the natural sciences, there are competing theories as to how evolution works. Look at the physical sciences -- not only can no one agree how quantum mechanics work, there are maybe three people total who understand the fact of it at all. As for evolution, there is classic Darwinism, punctuated equilibrium, etc. -- competing theories to explain the observed fact. The scientific method is how we will eventually choose which (if any current) theory is correct. Creationism, however, is not a theory. It's not even a properly scientific critique. It is Biblical absolutism trying very desperately to wear an ill-fitting suit of scientific clothes. Its claims are easily disputed by the laziest paleontology undergrad. Signed, etc. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Very Little Hate Mail So PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 12:41:07 PM ----- BODY: Very Little Hate Mail So Far, But We'll Keep You Posted Another reason why Hawk Girl is the best new blogger for the month of February. Don't ask, just click. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If it's Not Afghan, it's PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 01:12:12 PM ----- BODY: If it's Not Afghan, it's CRAP! David Boaz in NRO on the Afghanistan-Scotland connection. So obvious, only a Scotsman could see it! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He's Not Kidding Dave Shiflett PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 01:25:18 PM ----- BODY: He's Not Kidding Dave Shiflett on OJ's Taste Page makes fun of some of the "sports" now deemed medal-worthy in the Winter Olympics. Hell, I think we all have. News to me in the story is that Warren Buffett (yes, that Warren Buffett) is leading a group to get bridge (yes, the damn card game) entered as a medal event. I think that's a worthy goal, one I hold in high regard. Well, that is if in exchange for my support, Mr. Buffett will support my bid to form a vodka-drinking team. And I want to captain Team USA. Sure, the Russians will be favored to take the gold, but the doubters know little of my dedication to the sport. You see, drinking is already like an Olympic sport to me. To get good at it, every day you need to drink, drink, drink -- whether you're in the mood to or not. Let me tell you, kids: my liver is aleady in Olympic training condition. Bring on the Russians, bring on the Irish, bring'em all on. We'll drink'em all under the table. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: That Goes Double for the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 03:01:14 PM ----- BODY: That Goes Double for the Belgians The New York Times reports that some of our NATO "allies" have actually offered to act like allies, and help us should we feel the "need" to use force against Saddam Hussein. And what, pray tell, could Europe offer us? Perhaps France might offer us the use of one of their miniature armored "divisions" (about the same size and far less powerful than one regiment of US armored cavalry). Thanks, France -- I guess we'll have to provide the transport to get it there. And the food. And pretty much all the logistics, since you've abandoned your military like you abandoned the Ardennes. Maybe the Germans could offer us some help. For instance, they could stop harping on our foreign policy and start explaining the last "regime change" they tried in Iraq -- a pro-Nazi coup in 1941. In any case, post-war German logistic ability and expeditionary experience are (happily) even less than those of France. The Italians? If we somehow get routed by Saddam, perhaps they could offer us some sound advice on how to sound a retreat. Other than the Brits and the Turks -- the only two NATO allies we can count on -- the best thing our eurofriends can do to help is just to shut the hell up already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Because Trolling for Hits is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 03:09:57 PM ----- BODY: Because Trolling for Hits is Still Wrong Roger Ebert's review of Crossroads fails to mention even one time that star Britney Spears dances around in her panties and underwear teen girl sex. He only gave the new Britney Spears in her underwear movie one and a half stars, so I'm thinking he must've been in the bathroom or buying popcorn during the scene where Britney Spears dances around in her underwear bra panties hot naked coeds. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Battle of the Steves Good PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 03:38:44 PM ----- BODY: Battle of the Steves Good analysis by Steven Den Beste on how we may wage war on Iraq -- and why we may end up using a tactical nuke or two. However, I find him overly pessimistic. Iraqi command-and-control problems will be even worse this go-around than it was in 1991 -- they'll hardly know where their own formations are, much less ours. We're that good now at shutting off enemy communications. Furthermore, I think he overestimates how many combat troops we'll commit to the theater. This won't quite be a repeat of the Afghan campaign, but it will look more like than than the '91 war. Anyway, go read Steven's stuff. Whether you agree or not, it's certainly thought-provoking. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: In a Related Story, Rocket PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 04:03:06 PM ----- BODY: In a Related Story, Rocket Scientists Build Giant Flaming Phallic Symbols Beauty of Gray (a favorite of mine) links to this story from the SFGate. Aquatic researchers in Britain, trying to, ah, inspire celebate sharks to breed, are... I can't type this with the straight face. The scientists are playing Barry White albums at the damn fish. And now I've got this eerie medley going on in my head. It starts with John Williams' famous "Jaws" theme (duhdum, duuuhdum dudumdudumdudum) and then smoothly segues into "Can't Get Enough Of Your Love." Someone please, please shoot me. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Following Post Brought to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 04:32:24 PM ----- BODY: The Following Post Brought to You by Symantec Software More genuinely scary cyberwar info on StrategyPage today. Read it, unless you're subject to losing sleep. And install a firewall on your computer already -- and keep it up-to-date. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: They Even Cheat at Figure PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 04:42:35 PM ----- BODY: They Even Cheat at Figure Skating This item also from StrategyPage: While the Afghan War has convinced France to buy more helicopters and form more special forces units, the French have decided against any increase in long-range strike or aerial tanker capability. My only conclusion is that all these new French special forces will either: A) Be used to force the occassional regime change in religiously-oppressed and terrorist-sponsoring Luxembourg, or; B) have to rely on American forces for transportation and logistics. The "allied" country that wouldn't let a few of our bombers fly over in 1986 expects us to escort their air assualt troops all over hell and gone. Fuck'em. Sometimes, I really don't understand what all the fuss was about when France pulled out of the NATO command structure in 1966. Seems like it would have had all the doomsday effects of Chad pulling out of the World Trade Organization. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Most Types of Sharks Have PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 04:52:02 PM ----- BODY: Most Types of Sharks Have Only Been Around 200 Million Years Juan Gato has a blog I'm just starting to get into -- and if his takedown of The Oldest Living Fossil is any indication of his usual work, I'll be making it a regular stop. Check it out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Friday -- He'll Drink PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/15/2002 05:14:58 PM ----- BODY: It's Friday -- He'll Drink to Most Anything Twenty-five posts so far today, and yet not one mention of the severed penis. I'll drink to that. UPDATE: We just got our first Google for "nebraska penis." I am filled with pride. Or something. FURTHER UPDATE: Thanks to some overly well-informed reader, I now know that under "car wash penis Nebraska" at Google, VodkaPundit is the third item. Scary. FINAL UPDATE: Latest Google search to hit this site? "figure+skating+rules+underwear." I don't want to know. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: My Valentine's Weekend is officially PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/17/2002 10:29:39 PM ----- BODY: My Valentine's Weekend is officially over -- I'm ba-ack! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If A = B and PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 02:30:58 AM ----- BODY: If A = B and B = C then A and C Have Nothing to do with Each Other Western Civilization: Birthplace of Aristotle, father of reason. But sometimes, Germany doesn't listen so good. Editor of the German newsweekly Die Zeit has this to say in today's NYT: In June 1981, Israel's prime minister, Menachem Begin, ordered a posse of F-16 jets to take out Saddam Hussein's two nuclear reactors. With vast petroleum reserves, Iraq had no imaginable need for nuclear energy — except to make bombs. And Mr. Hussein had openly declared his intention to attack Israel. So far so good. For once, an honest assessment of Iraq's intentions and capabilities. He goes on: Publicly, Begin was scorned for his outrageous breach of international law. Privately, however, many politicians agreed: Why not destroy Iraq's potentially murderous nuclear toys? Mr. Hussein did go on to start two wars. But he lost both, and if he had been armed with nuclear bombs world history could have taken a very ugly turn. Wow! A European elite who is willing to face the truth about Iraq during both gulf wars. Fantabulous. However, while the man is dangerous and crazy, we do not know that he has weapons of mass destruction. He seems to have had precious little connection to Sept. 11. His army has been destroyed. Therefore, two decades after Begin's attack, America's European allies would deplore a repetition of the Persian Gulf war. HUH??? How did we go from "He was probably gonna get nukes and use them" to "Well, we don't, like, totally know for sure he has them, so let's sit on our lazy Euroasses and hope for the best"? At what university did Herr Nauman get a gentleman's C in logic 101? Or did he get his Master's in Non Sequitur? Look, Saddam is still a not nice guy. He's still trying to get nukes. We think we have a year or so before he has them. So, please, Euroelites, help us out the only way you can: Shut up already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Yet Another Reason not to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 02:33:25 AM ----- BODY: Yet Another Reason not to Whiz on the Electrice Fence On a much smarter note in today's NYT, read Bill Safire's column on the near-abolition of personal privacy anywhere outdoors in our nation's capital. Have we come to this already? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He's Also not too Fond PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 02:38:21 AM ----- BODY: He's Also not too Fond of White People Breathing In a move designed to removed any last bit of credibility he has with Americans of any color, shade, hue, or pattern, Louis Farrakhan has condemned the US war on terror. Claiming that we toppled a hostile government in a resource-free nation then let them establish their own government was based on "US oil politics," the Nation of Islam leader... Aw, hell. I can't do any satire here. It's already done. Just read the story and try to laugh instead of cry. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Today's Lab Assignment: Turn Your PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 02:45:11 AM ----- BODY: Today's Lab Assignment: Turn Your Head and Cough UC Berkeley has suspended an entire male sexuality class after the professor allegedly had sex on stage and started an after-school orgy as some sort of extracurricular activity. First off, we should not be surprised this happened in Berkeley. In fact, I'm a bit amazed that the home of the Naked Guy didn't see this one happening (you thought I was going to say "coming") a long time ago. Secondly, why the hell does anyone bother teaching male sexuality? We men are simple creatures: Apply friction, repeat until sticky. Really, anything more is just to impress the ladies -- so that they'll help us with the friction part. Class dismissed. NOTE: It took great strength of will not to make a "crack their books" joke. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This Could be Big Iran PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 02:50:11 AM ----- BODY: This Could be Big Iran might have al Qaeda's number two guy in custody. No Robert Wagner jokes, just read the story. If they hand him over, then maybe, just maybe, we won't have to help the good people of Iran to topple the theothugocracy. But we ought to anyway, just on principle. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He's Sorry He Even Mentioned PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 10:51:43 AM ----- BODY: He's Sorry He Even Mentioned It In sadder news, the trial of the woman who drowned her five children starts today in Houston. What do you do in a case like this? All your options are horrible. But -- the first job of any culture has to be to punish those who would kill children. Anything else is ultimately self-genocidal. So I'm just going to pour another cup of coffee and thank Whomever that I don't have jury duty in Texas. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Coffee Gets You Out PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 11:00:32 AM ----- BODY: But Coffee Gets You Out of Bed I just found something better than my morning coffee -- today's Unablogger. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Don't Ask, Just Read Settle PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 11:18:01 AM ----- BODY: Don't Ask, Just Read Settle into a comfy chair, get out your notebook, and put on your thinking cap -- Suman Palit's long-awaited post on the long history of India and Judaism is finally available. If it seems I'm not posting as much today, it's because I'm busy with Suman's piece. This is what the web can be, kids. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I'll Get Mean Again After PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 11:28:28 AM ----- BODY: I'll Get Mean Again After the Fourth Cup of Coffee Read Andrew Olmstead's bit on military preparedness -- and why you aren't ready for combat just because your soldiers can speak in gender-neutralese. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And it Can Bring Two PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 11:56:15 AM ----- BODY: And it Can Bring Two (or More) People Closer Together Kevin Holstberry is back at it again -- this time predictably railing against Colin Powell's sensible comments about condoms, pregnancy and STDs. Says Kevin: "What we do is promote a culture that practically forces kids to see sex as the most important act of ones existencce; a activity that is central to ones being." I hate to break this to him, but dirty, dirty sex is one of the most important acts of our existence. After mere survival, the primary activity of life is to create more life, to extend itself, to keep going, to procreate. "A zygote is a gamete's way of making more gametes," wrote Heinlein, and good ol' R.A. said that might just be the meaning of the whole universe. Certainly, it's the about only order in the chaos with undeniable proof. That's the reason even we atheists scream "oh god" at the critical moment -- at orgasm, we are god, creating life from void, imposing structure on the formless. And you know what one of the best things about being human is? The central fact of our existence is so goddamn fun. UPDATE: Kevin was kind enough to reply in the Drinks section, but I need to add something more. Is it something more than just a strawman that the Christian right is setting up when they claim anyone against them is automatically for kids having sex at 12? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: "General Sagan" -- Say it PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 12:04:46 PM ----- BODY: "General Sagan" -- Say it and Shudder Kesher Talk is back at last -- with great words about "know-nothings with medical degrees." Same, of course, goes for any Ivory Tower type who thinks he can run your life and mine because he went to a lot of school. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Monday Means Morbid! Remember the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 12:38:13 PM ----- BODY: Monday Means Morbid! Remember the old Monty Python movie theater announcement gag? I don't have my print edition handy, so I'll paraphrase from memory: "Management regrets to inform you that there will be no feature presentation tonight, as it eats into the profits." I watch and read about that crematorium in Georgia, and all I can think is they held the same attitude about running that giant furnace. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And You Thought we had PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 01:05:36 PM ----- BODY: And You Thought we had Problems How does Japan fix itself? Simple question, no easy answer. Hell, there might not be an answer. For the last decade or so, Japan Inc. has been caught in a deflationary spiral. For those not paying attention to the papers, that means the economy is in a vicious cycle. Business won’t borrow money to expand because prices (and profits) keep dropping. People don’t buy things because they know that prices are going to be even cheaper tomorrow. So business fires people, so there’s even less money to spend, so they have to cut prices more and… well, you get the picture. The Great Depression was a deflationary cycle, and it took WWII to get out of that. The whole cycle got started when the Japanese real estate bubble burst. Our tech bubble was pretty out of hand by 1999, but in 1990, downtown Tokyo had a book value greater than the Lower 48 states! A few small city blocks worth more than everything from San Diego, CA to Portland, ME. Madness. Well, the bubble burst just as soon as some cashed-strapped companies tried to get the yen for the book value. And that’s part of how Japan got into this mess. Making matters worse, Japanese banks are saddled with enough bad debt to make our early-‘90s S&L crises look tiny. Paul Krugman, back when he was still interesting and thoughtful (i.e., not working for the NYT), suggested the way out of deflation was to purposely inflate the economy. Let the Bank of Japan print too much money – prices would rise and people would have a reason to spend today instead of tomorrow. But there’s a serious problem with what seems to be a sound idea. Japan’s population looks much like Florida’s, albeit with far fewer Jews. Seriously, Japan has a lot of old people. Retirees. People living on their savings. First, inflation destroys savings by making each dollar worth less. That’s an unfair tax on the elderly unemployed. Secondly, old people already own their big TV and car and house – they just don’t spend as much money as people with kids and a mortgage. So, you’ve got a political system where reform is impossible, and a demographic problem where even if the economy was growing, there aren’t enough young people to keep it going up. So what’s the solution for Japan? Damned if I know. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Letters, We Get Letters Very PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 01:22:48 PM ----- BODY: Letters, We Get Letters Very Smart Reader Marc Webster writes in: I can't speculate as to how many of your posts are lubricated in this way [with vodka], but I do thank you for not offering up wishy-washy, caveat-laden posts scientifically designed to offend exactly no one. You're welcome, Marc. And thank you for some of the kindest words ever said for an offensive site. Then Marc asks: "But there is a problem: where's the vodka?" [Emphasis mine] Where is the vodka, indeed. OK, here's how I drink my various lubricants. VodkaPundit martini. Remove bottle of Stoli and five-ounce martini glass from freezer. Pour former into latter. Salud. Summer version: Replace Stoli with Absolut Mandarin. The David Special: Replace Absolut Mandarin with Absolut Citron. Repeat until walking like Frankenstein's monster. The Melissa: Four parts Coke & ice to one part Stoli Vanil. Now shake that thing. The Ouch: X shots of Kettle One, out of iced Russian-style heavy shot glasses. Chase with Fat Tire, if needed. You'll figure out the name in the morning. So what's your poison? UPDATE: For the uninitiated, Fat Tire is a Belgian-style amber brewed in Ft. Collins, CO. From its early days of achingly limited availability, you can now get it as far away as Rolla, MO. Maybe farther now, for all I know. Look for it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: More Interesting than Jonah's Dog! PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 01:51:52 PM ----- BODY: More Interesting than Jonah's Dog! Mandatory reading from NRO. It's the first of a series, so get that bookmark handy. Good reporting, good history, good analysis. And I hope some State Department pukes are reading James S. Robbins, because we're going to need his info on Iraqi tribal structure to help us run the place after Saddam is gone. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We Break Away from Our PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 02:29:33 PM ----- BODY: We Break Away from Our Usual Bitching for an All-New Gripe Blogspot is free, and sometimes worth every penny. Yeah, my peevish little way of saying Blogger is down again. Just testing to see if I can post while I can't read. I want a big "Technical Difficulties Please Stand By" graphic that will somehow automatically post every time Blogger hits the skids. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Or Do Pounds Sterling Still PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 03:03:44 PM ----- BODY: Or Do Pounds Sterling Still Make the Best Bribe? Two cheers for craven materialism by Perry de Havilland on Samizdata! Sure, freedom produces the Backstreet Boys, but it also gives us Hayek and Copeland and... oh, just go read Perry already. Good writing, and a point we small-l libertarians need to make as often, as forcefully, and as loudly as we are able. Ed. Note: I will continue sending traffic and praise Perry's way until he sees fit to Posh Blog link me. And then I will send even more. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Those Who Shall Link Ye, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 03:11:48 PM ----- BODY: Those Who Shall Link Ye, Shall Thee Link -- the Twelfth Commandment For those wondering where your permalinks are, let me just say I'm working on them. They are actually going to have some sort of organization, although I can't promise anything alphabetical. Details tonight. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I'll Have My Martini in PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 06:06:13 PM ----- BODY: I'll Have My Martini in the Doghouse, Please Just because Perry de Havilland asked so nicely, here is the VodkaFiance. Melissa has no clue -- yet -- that I'm trading out hot opera dress pictures for a better link. How deep am I in it this time, do you think?

Yes, I am a lucky man. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He Knows "The Corner" Link PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 08:04:37 PM ----- BODY: He Knows "The Corner" Link Doesn't Work. It's for a Good Reason OK, the new Alcoholic Links Template is up and running. All the same links as before, plus some piping fresh new ones -- all arranged in a totally arbitrary fasion. Top Shelf, Hair o' the Dog, Luncheon Cordials, After Work Cocktails, Warned by the Bouncer, Suspected Teetotalers, Known Molson Drinkers, and Under the Table. Hair, Lunch, and After Work are all listed by the time of day I do the most reading there. Warned by the Bouncer -- well, those are our too funny, too loud, or too naked sites. Suspected Teetotalers are religious Republicans who I read anyway. Molson? We know who the Canadians are, and we're keeping an eye on you people. Under the Table = MIA. Come back, Natalie! Finally, Top Shelf explains itself. Cheers, skoal, l'chaim, salud, prosit! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Is That a Flask in PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 08:26:58 PM ----- BODY: Is That a Flask in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to See Me? Samizdata's other Londoner, Brian Micklethwait, has some fine words on freedom and sport. Great work, Brian -- but no one has yet to explain to me just what the hell is going on in a cricket match. Although I do love any sport that breaks for tea. Any chance of getting a mint julep out on the lawn? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Awful Pat Benetar Reference PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/18/2002 08:43:07 PM ----- BODY: The Awful Pat Benetar Reference Doesn't Come Until the Very End I write a thoughtful critique on the near-bankruptcy of Japan, Inc., but the best responses from you today are all about beer and vodka. You even ignored the male sexuality post and my big thumbs up for teen sex. (OK, Kevin Holtsberry didn't ignore the teen sex, but he never seems to.) But back to the subject, if I ever had one. Oh, yes -- vodka. Marc Webster wrote back, this time with a few cocktail suggestions of his own -- some potent political mixes. I'm just going to quote Marc at length: I thought cocktails in honor of the blogosphere's favorite people could be cool. Ahem. The Fisk: 3 oz. rotgut Vodka (McCormick's?), 1 oz beer, dash of tabasco sauce. Disgusting, and a few of them leave you feeling like you've been set upon by an unruly mob. Also, like with the real Fisk, if someone likes them, you can bet they wouldn't be a good drinking partner. The Vedrine: Nothing, just complain to the bartender that everything he stocks is too "simple" and lacking in nuance or sophistication. The Herold: 2 Oz. Smirnoff, passed off as Stolichnaya Gold, Grey Goose, etc. You can talk all you want about how its rigorously filtered, cross-checked for quality, etc., but you're still guilty of hyperbole/wishful thinking. I don't know...I've had a few shots of vodka tonight, so this may seem incredibly stupid in a few hours. Brilliant, Marc! Keep drinking and maybe you'll think up a few more. Meantime, I'll ask VodkaPundit readers to suggest their own political drinks. Here's one of mine: The Glenn Reynolds: A large shot of coffee spiked with Jolt, espresso, and just enough Stoli to keep hands steady for 24-hour blogging. OK, kids -- your turn. Hit me with your best shot. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Three-Hanky Newspaper Story William PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 12:01:30 AM ----- BODY: A Three-Hanky Newspaper Story William McGurn. Today’s Opinion Journal. Just read it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If He Were a Mobster, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 12:02:37 AM ----- BODY: If He Were a Mobster, He’d Be in Witness Protection Also from OJ, a nice little write-up on Bjorn Lomborg. In case the name doesn’t ring a bell, Lomborg is the Dane ecologist who accidentally proved that most ecologists are, to put it mildly, full of shit. You should pick up his book, The Skeptical Environmentalist, if you want some fun facts to throw in the faces of idiots. It’s been my bedside reading all week – a high recommendation for me. Anyway, read Bray’s piece this morning and decide for yourself. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I’ll Topple Yours if You PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 12:06:53 AM ----- BODY: I’ll Topple Yours if You Topple Mine I keep meaning to link to Bill Gertz’s stuff in the Washington Times, but I keep finding it too late. Not today! In his latest report, Gertz says that US intelligence agencies “have spotted scores of Iranian intelligence and military personnel deep inside Afghanistan working to destabilize the interim government.” How about we make the Mullahs a deal: For every government they try to topple, we get to try to topple one of theirs. Best part is, the good people of Iran have seen the light and will do most of the work themselves. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why Fight When You Can PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 12:10:05 AM ----- BODY: Why Fight When You Can Have Both? As those of you paying close attention are aware, I’m a one-man tilting-at-windmills boycott of NRO’s The Corner. Until Jonah Goldberg admits that his monster is a blog, I won’t link, I won’t read, and I’ll keep poking fun. Then I get this nice note from Robert Bauer of HokiePundit: I don't know if you've noticed, but several of the people at The Corner have been saying that they've been "blogging" and that they're "bloggers." No word from the G-Man regarding his crypto-blog yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Please, Robert – keep me posted. I’ll be true to my word and start linking just as soon as Jonah is true to reality. Then Robert adds, “You should send VodkaFiancee up against Natalija Radic and drive Megan McArdle batty.” Ah, youth! Robert, never never never put two women up against each other. Trust my years of very naughty experience here. The women will conspire and the women will win – and we men lose. Every damn time. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Link of Unintended Consequences PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 12:11:13 AM ----- BODY: The Link of Unintended Consequences VodkaPundit is #12 for “figure skating crotch shots” at Google-Yahoo. Damnit, the one cheap sex joke I haven’t made about the Olympics, and I still get nailed for it. Who searches for this stuff, anyway? Don't answer, I already know -- me in 1986 had there been a Google yet. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Also Featuring Insomnia! Blogger is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 10:20:31 AM ----- BODY: Also Featuring Insomnia! Blogger is down again, so I'm not sure you'll see this -- but here goes, anyway. For the balance of the week I'll be back in my cousin's store as he road trips it to SLC for Olympic hockey. Last minute thing, so I'm helping out again. Anyway, ancient computer with a slow connection -- so expect a greater-than-even-normal number of typos and an extra dollop of crankiness. It'll be a blast. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Who Here Served at Subic PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 11:07:41 AM ----- BODY: Who Here Served at Subic or Clark? I'm glad I caught this Andrew Sullivan post before entering into my twice-weekly ripping of Nicholas Kristof at the NYT. So what are we doing in the Philippines, and what is it we're trying to do there? If it really is just a PR trip, then the entire Bush Administration should be ashamed. Our soldiers are too valuable to be wasted and this war is too important for sidetracks. Answers, anyone? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Let's Please not Accuse the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 11:19:15 AM ----- BODY: Let's Please not Accuse the Brits of Being Europeans Martin Gross on the Washington Times Op-Ed page has an interesting take on the diplomatic divide between the US and Europe. Gross argues that ancient Europe is behaving like our rebellious child. America would love to cooperate with Europeans in eliminating evil dictators who threaten the West. But apparently, the Europeans are more interested in expressing adolescent rebellion than in fighting. Well said. The United States got to take a holiday from history during most of the 1990s. It was nice while it lasted, but 9/11 was an overly-loud wake-up call on why we can't just disengage from the world. Europe, not directly attacked, keeps hitting the snooze button. They, like us, won't get serious until they have to. Or will they even then? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Told You He's Cranky Today PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 11:32:22 AM ----- BODY: Told You He's Cranky Today We might get some sensible copyright law -- but only through the Supreme Court. Is there no constituency Congress won't get on its knees for? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Told You He's Cranky Today PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 11:32:22 AM ----- BODY: Told You He's Cranky Today We might get some sensible copyright law -- but only through the Supreme Court. Is there no constituency Congress won't get on its knees for? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Soon the Parrot Here Will PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 11:40:43 AM ----- BODY: Soon the Parrot Here Will Sound Like a Sailor, Too Using many bad words very, very loudly as Blogspot goes down for the second time today. Last time anything went down this hard twice on me, I'd bought the lobster and several cocktails. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's a Slow Day for PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 11:47:01 AM ----- BODY: It's a Slow Day for Politics If you love movies, read this LA Times story. The classic '60s Cinerama Dome in LA is being refurbished, but with what many film buffs think is the wrong kind of screen. More interesting than I've made it sound. Check it out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It Would Have Been More PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 11:58:32 AM ----- BODY: It Would Have Been More Dignified Had the Judge Worn Clown Shoes Why we need military tribunals, exhibit #1,000,006. Any tinpot or even would-be dictator can turn any court into a sham -- all he needs is a stage and a chance to strut, as Slobodan Milosovich showed in World Court yesterday. Now, whether Slobo is just an especially good grandstander, or The Hague is just unable to run a court with some sort of dignity, is this sort of charade what we want to be involved in? Two word answer: Hell no. We'll deal with our war captives our way. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: "Anything Free is Worth Less PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 12:38:21 PM ----- BODY: "Anything Free is Worth Less Than You Paid for It" It's official -- I'm shopping for a web host. Look for www.vodkapundit.com in the next week or two. Meantime, bear with me and Blogspot. UPDATE: Just as all the coffee and hustling and attempts a wit and sagacity start to build into real readership, Blogger goes and has a day like this. Please accept my apologies. FURTHER UPDATE: There was a Letterman Top Ten list ages ago -- least popular new car features. The one item I remember was "Intermittent Steering." Blogger is having a day like that. If anyone somehow manages to read this, please leave a note in the Drinks section recommending a good, fairly inexepensive web host. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Mastercard: It's Everywhere You Want PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 03:42:26 PM ----- BODY: Mastercard: It's Everywhere You Want to Invade Why Victor Davis Hanson is one of our national treasures: "Noam Chomsky and Susan Sontag are now as likely to be in the AARP as screaming in the campus quad." New computer: $3056 High speed web connection: $45/month Reading a line like that: Priceless. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: An Open Letter to Sarge PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/19/2002 09:51:54 PM ----- BODY: An Open Letter to Sarge Stryker Sarge, let me tell you a little story as it was told to me. Well, not to me. It was years ago, and Lawrence Fishburne was on Letterman promoting some movie or other, and told this to millions of viewers. Humor me here, you'll see the point. Just keep reading. You might not remember, but that was little Larry, barely a teen, on the river patrol boat in "Apocalypse Now." Don't beleive me? Read the credits. Anyway, they were shooting in the Philippines, and Larry really was just a kid, not old enough to drink -- not even back then. So one day when he's not on set, he goes to see a magic show. Some local PI magician with lots of smoke and mirrors and ladies cut in half and whatnot. And he's there with none other than Marlon Brando. Anyway, Lawrence is still young enough to be oohing and aahing over all the "illusions." Then, right after some trick or other, Brando leans right into his ear and says, "Kid, it's all a bunch of crap." I read your response to the latest from the Pentagon, and that story came to mind. It's all a bunch of crap, Sarge. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Also, the Coffee Needs to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 10:13:35 AM ----- BODY: Also, the Coffee Needs to Kick In Finally have the cousin's ancient computer running and connected. Things will be so much nicer next week when I'm back to spending my days at home, working in my bathrobe. Thanks for your patience yesterday -- only 14 or 15 posts, but still lots of readers. That means a lot. OK, now it's time to go back to being cranky and obtuse. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Also, the Coffee Needs to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 10:13:35 AM ----- BODY: Also, the Coffee Needs to Kick In Finally have the cousin's ancient computer running and connected. Things will be so much nicer next week when I'm back to spending my days at home, working in my bathrobe. Thanks for your patience yesterday -- only 14 or 15 posts, but still lots of readers. That means a lot. OK, now it's time to go back to being cranky and obtuse. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If You Outlaw Education, Only PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 10:24:31 AM ----- BODY: If You Outlaw Education, Only Outlaws will... oh, Never Mind Good news is, it's nice to help out family -- I really don't mind pitching in at the store. Bad news is, we have an important Supreme Court hearing today, and I have no CNN, Fox, MSNBC, anything here. So if anyone hears anything interesting about the questioning in the school vouchers case, click on the "drinks" below this post and tell me. I'm a Jeffersonian libertarian, so I support public education -- I don't think you can have a functioning republic for very long without it. I'm the product of a mix of public and private schools, and can't deny there are serious problems in need of serious attention seriously soon at our public schools. But I have mixed feelings about vouchers. I don't worry that public schools will lose money -- they don't and won't. I don't worry that public schools will lose support -- the ones who deserve it are already held in contempt. I worry about our private schools under vouchers. He who pays the Danegeld... What government financing doesn't eventually come with strings? If vouchers become widespread, how long before the US Department of Education has effective control of our private schools, too, and does to them what it's helped to do to our public schools? I shudder at the thought, and so should you. Anyway, will someone please keep me up-to-date on today's case? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He's Trying to Say He PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 10:31:38 AM ----- BODY: He's Trying to Say He Didn't Like It Spent six years in California. Hated it. Hated it. Can't wait until the whole stinkin' place falls into the ocean or (more likely) legislates itself out of existence. But I could move back there just to vote for this guy. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Friedman Finally Untangles from Last PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 10:37:51 AM ----- BODY: Friedman Finally Untangles from Last Week's 69 with the Crown Prince I think it was Jonah Goldberg who came up with The Friedman Formula. The 90% that Thomas Friedman gets right is so right, that it really hurts how goddamn wrong he is about the remaining 10%. There's none of that 10% in his column today. Read it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Got Lost in the Blogspot PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 10:45:52 AM ----- BODY: Got Lost in the Blogspot Confusion Yesterday Kevin, Melissa thanks you for your very kind words about her, and hopes you aren't in too much trouble with the Missus. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: What Other Body Parts Do PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 10:50:22 AM ----- BODY: What Other Body Parts Do They Check? Still playing catch-up here after yesterday's Physical Exhaustion Sleep-A-Thon, so I missed Douglas Tunrbull's excellent post on Blogging until just now. If you haven't read it yet, you really ought to. We won't put AOL Time Warner out of business, but in the wise words of one of our uberbloggers, we will always fact-check their asses. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He Would Have Gotten Away PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 11:00:21 AM ----- BODY: He Would Have Gotten Away with it If Not for Those Meddling Kids Wise words from Swen Swenson on making abortion legal until the 75th trimester. Question: What is it about the Blogosphere that attracts so many Heinleinians? Is it just semi-professional crankery inspired by Jubal Harshaw? And if so, where's my swimming pool full of succulently supple secretaries? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Will She Notice the Camcorder PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 11:22:30 AM ----- BODY: Will She Notice the Camcorder "On" Light in the Dark? This post will show that I don't link to Perry de Havilland all the time just in hopes of getting better positioning for VodkaPundit. Brilliant work on the meta-context from which we get our most basic assumptions. Although I will be posting another hot pic of Melissa soon, Perry. Wink, wink, nudge nudge. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Next on the Ash-Heap of PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 12:12:55 PM ----- BODY: Next on the Ash-Heap of History Why I'll support our President through this war, from the Washington Post: Bush took his campaign against state-sponsored terrorism to within 300 feet of North Korea, flying by helicopter to the Demilitarized Zone, the dividing line between the two Koreas, where combat-ready divisions and miles of razor wire mark the unfinished business of the Cold War. Touring a museum at the 151-mile border, Bush was shown axes North Koreans used to kill two American servicemen in 1976. "No wonder I think they're evil," he said, shaking his head. There you have it. A man willing to call things not just as he sees them, but as they are. And willing to follow through with the necessary actions. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It Really Is Only Wednesday PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 12:23:18 PM ----- BODY: It Really Is Only Wednesday Krauthammer publishes early this week, and with good reason. When you write something so in-their-faces brilliant, you can't sit on it until Friday. Here's the lede: America won the Cold War, pocketed Poland and Hungary and the Czech Republic as door prizes, then proceeded to pulverize Serbia and Afghanistan and, en passant, highlight Europe's irrelevance with a display of vast military superiority. Need I add that we did most of this during a decade when we pretty much ignored the world and refused to take much seriously? Imagine what we can accomplish now that we're paying attention again. Now go read the whole damn column. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Where's Waldo News Department In PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 12:35:08 PM ----- BODY: Where's Waldo News Department In a story most notable for its absence, former MADman James Schlessinger explains why Bush was right to give our six months notice on the ABM treaty. Other than a few screaming ninnies -- the usual suspects -- where's the outrage? Certainly not from Russia. Our "friends" in Europe even shut the hell up. Sound opinion, solid reporting, good reading. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: All Decisions Are Totally Arbitrary PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 12:47:44 PM ----- BODY: All Decisions Are Totally Arbitrary and Mostly Meaningless Will Wilkinson is back, and insightful and incisive as ever. Re-bookmark him if you need to. I'll be adding him back to my links, soon as I get out of here this evening. The only question is: Is Will a Hair o' the Dog blog, or a Luncheon Cordial? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Europe Has Forgotten Moral Outrage PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 01:03:51 PM ----- BODY: Europe Has Forgotten Moral Outrage -- Except How to Cause It InstaPundit linked this story from the Irish Times. The Prof calls it "interesting," but I think a careful reading shows that a European reporter who lives in NYC still doesn't get it or get us. The tone of tolerating condescension is intolerably Eurolefty. The writer takes issue with her eurofriends and their opinion of us as barbarians out for revenge. But Elaine Lafferty's defense of her American friends is essentially, "Of course they are, but right now they think they have good reason to be." Sickening, Prof, not interesting. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Might as Well Compliment My PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 01:20:07 PM ----- BODY: Might as Well Compliment My Red, Curly Hair On yesterday's Blogspot fiasco, Ev writes, "We're back up after a hardware upgrade. It should improve performance and scalability. Thanks for your patience." I have no patience. I'm fresh out. Patience is for people with nothing better to do with their time. I like Blogger. I'm proud to be on Blogger. But I can't stay here, Ev. Yesterday was the straw that broke the camel's back -- and now you just ate one of my posts. Twist the blade, salt the earth, that hurt. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Juan Gato Talks, People Listen PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 01:46:19 PM ----- BODY: Juan Gato Talks, People Listen Juan, a good post is exactly as long as it needs to be. If this is how long your take-down of Michael Moore needed to be, then so be it! Don't worry about cutting the posts down to size, just keep cutting down the idiots. However, there is no cutting Moore down to size. Not without a total federal ban on Cheetohs. UPDATE: The original link was to the wrong story. The error has been corrected. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Like a Ford Focus, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 01:55:31 PM ----- BODY: It's Like a Ford Focus, but it Flies Interesting news item from Steven Cole on Strategy Page: A company called Aviation Technology Group Inc. has developed a new small fighter called Javelin. While it was intended for export, the company is now suggesting that it could be the perfect fighter for homeland defense. Equipped with an ejection seat, radar, spotlight, forward looking infrared radar, night vision systems, and a 7.62mm minigun, it could be bought for only $4 million and operated for a quarter of the cost of an F-16. This Javelin doesn't exactly sound state-of-the-art, but gold-plated air-superiority fighters are hardly what's needed for homeland defense against slow, fat jetliners. My question is the same as Sarge Stryker's from a couple months back -- where do we get the pilots and ground crews? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And a Hearty "Go to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 02:52:34 PM ----- BODY: And a Hearty "Go to Hell" to All My Readers in Kaliningrad Oblast, Too! My first hit (that I know of) from Belgium. I should be flattered, but with all the eurocrat nonsense we've had to listen to out of Brussels since 9/11, the only thing I can think of is an old Monty Python phrase: "Fat Belgian git." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: In the Corporate Jewels? This PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 03:22:26 PM ----- BODY: In the Corporate Jewels? This item, courtesy of Drudge, has me re-thinking my atheism. AOL Time-Warner stock closed down 10% today. AOL is to the web what GOSPLAN was to fashion. (You 30+ Cold Warriors will get the reference.) Time-Warner... well, other than HBO and some nice Time-Life jazz collections, is a company sorely in need of a swift kick to the crotch. Maybe they just got one. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: That's the Pot Calling the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 03:27:02 PM ----- BODY: That's the Pot Calling the Bridal Gown Black What do you want to bet the Egyptian Minister of Transportation denounces the US for being murderers? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He's Back Home and Will PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 05:27:41 PM ----- BODY: He's Back Home and Will Be Drinking Soon The following is the only thing that needs to be said about campaign finance "reform." Ever. "When the legislature controls what is bought and sold, the first thing to be bought and sold will be legislators." We all know that old saw, but let's add a CFR amendment to it. "Any attempt to regulate the buying and selling of legislators will meet with the same success as other attempts to rig markets." There, I think that covers it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: That's Two Cannibalism Jokes Just PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 05:36:16 PM ----- BODY: That's Two Cannibalism Jokes Just this Afternoon No such thing as superior cultures? This sad case of cannibalism from Nigeria disproves that left-liberal notion. For instance, our good Dr. Lecter would have made a tasty foie gras, not some simple pepper soup. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Sure It's Great, But There PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 05:50:05 PM ----- BODY: Sure It's Great, But There Are Still No Cartoon Bunnies with Machine Guns Rejoice, fellow and sister GenXers! Ebert has declared Say Anything one of the "Great Movies." Odd he did that today, considering Melissa and I just watched High Fidelity again last night. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: All Your Hate Are Belong PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 08:36:46 PM ----- BODY: All Your Hate Are Belong to Us! If Ken Layne didn't already steer you to this Tim Blair post, then let me do so. Caution: May lead to co-workers, spouses, and/or signifigant others wondering why you're howling madly at the computer. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Cheap Shot of the Evening PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 08:42:00 PM ----- BODY: Cheap Shot of the Evening Another headline from Drudge: "Utah Leads Nation in Antidepressant Use" And that happened for the same reason there are so many confused young men in Arab countries -- a few hundred guys out in the desert are hogging all the women. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: His Idea of Skiing is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 09:33:18 PM ----- BODY: His Idea of Skiing is to Sit in the Lounge with a Cocktail or Nine Grasshoppa is back from wherever, and so is off the "Under the Table" links list and now under "After Work Cocktails" where he belongs. But that still leaves the question, How long is Natalie going to be skiing? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: More Fun Messes from Blogger! PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 11:04:24 PM ----- BODY: More Fun Messes from Blogger! Blogspot is down again, now returning Internal Server Errors instead of my many beloved blogs. Love what you've done, Ev -- now cut it the hell out. Once again, look for yours truly on his own domain next week. And might I be so forward as to ask Sekimori to help me with the set-up? I still pay well, and in Micheal Graves stuff. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: They're Like Minnesotans, Only Less PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/20/2002 11:39:50 PM ----- BODY: They're Like Minnesotans, Only Less Fierce An overdue link to David Janes and his Ranting and Roaring blog. You'll find David under "Known Molson Drinkers." Remember, we keep track of you shifty Canadians. Probably up to no good with your strange vowels and odd tribal customs. I'd put these links up sooner, only I'm not that organized. It's like chaos here, only without the structure. Seriously, David has a funny, thoughtful site, and you should check it out often. If I keep seeing stuff like this from north of the border, I might start admitting that Dave Foley isn't really American. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I Think That’s Called a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 12:03:55 AM ----- BODY: I Think That’s Called a “Washington Around-the-World” Safire buries the lead -- so deep it's the last sentence of his Thursday column. Read: "Stop pretending [Enron and Global Crossing are] a political scandal and start dealing with the accounting and derivatives scandal." That's closer to the truth than you'll get from CNBC and certainly from CNN, but it's still not the story. The story is that a bunch of would-be crooks almost certainly committed fraud -- and the financial markets bankrupted their company for it, freeing up capital and employees for more profitable and beneficial companies. Now we can only hope that the courts will mete out the individual punishments (jail and fines) that the markets can't. Look, capitalism requires this two-part system. You need free markets so that people can pursue their dreams, and republican government to punish those whose dreams involve theft, fraud, or force – the three ways to deny the dreams of others. Let's call the two sides Money and Guns. Markets have the money, government has the guns. And, ideally, never the twain shall meet. Unfortunately, what we have today is a mixed system, where the guys with the Guns control a lot of what the guys with the Money do – regulation of the airwaves, of medicine, of manufacturing, of office space, etc. Naturally, the Money guys try to buy the Guns guys, sometimes to get out from under the regulations, sometimes to get their competitors legally crippled. I probably don’t have to tell you that nothing is more dangerous than when the two great powers collude. The greater the collusion, the less our freedoms. When Money and Guns are inseparable and indistinguishable, then freedom ends. In fact, a name was coined in Italy for that exact situation about 80 years ago. Mussolini sometimes called it "the corporate state," but you might better know it as Fascism. Enron and GC are being used by a cynical Congress to foist campaign finance reform on the nation. What CFR does is regulate further an already regulated market – the market for speech. In other words, to further meld Money and Guns control over how you or I make our political opinions known. Now, what part of “Congress shall make no law” they don’t understand is a mystery to me, but I gave up on the Congress or the courts paying much attention to the Constitution before my father was even born. 1938, to be exact. But back to the subject. By restricting the power you and I would have to speak if their Guns didn’t prevent us, they protect their own asses and jobs. And the Money guys increase their power because the fewer opportunities we have to express our opinions with our checkbooks and our advocacy, the more important their established newspapers and TV shows become. I’m privileged. I have the time, the energy, and the wherewithal to opine here on the web. For others, they’re too busy, or not inclined, or just not that good at expressing themselves. But they, and you, always have the option of giving some money to a candidate, or a PAC, or a party. CFR would place further restrictions on your freedom to do those things. It's a shame the Founders didn't erect a clearer wall of separation between economy and state. If they had, then we wouldn’t have to worry so much about the menacing offspring of Money and Guns in bed together. Since the Founders didn’t, it’s up to you to be a more responsible citizen. And one way you can do that is to always remember this: In evaluating a new law, ask yourself – would the law further co-mingle Money and Guns? Because if it does, then it will increase the political power of Money and the increase the money controlled by Guns. Which means you get screwed twice. And the best part? You get to pay for your own screwing with your own taxes. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Already One of Those PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 07:52:32 AM ----- BODY: It's Already One of Those Days My firewall ate Blogger. I wish I were kidding. Don't know how to fix this, other than disabling Norton. Anyone have any suggestions? While I work on that, you enjoy today's lovely essay below. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Already No Longer One PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 08:03:52 AM ----- BODY: It's Already No Longer One of Those Days Problem with Norton solved. Also, archeologists have located the Ark of the Covennnt and discovered the 13th Commandment: "Thou shalt not fiddle with thy Firewall whilst enjoying a lovely brandy." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But You're Still Not Free PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 08:16:15 AM ----- BODY: But You're Still Not Free to Leave Say what you will about Communists, but they always make us look good -- if only by setting the bar so low. The Washington Post reports that Chinese Top Whoop-Tee-Do, Jiang Zemin claimed -- right in front of the world press and President Bush -- that China "has freedom of religion." Zemin went on to say, "Since founding of the People's Republic of China, all our institutions, various versions, have provided for the freedom of religious belief." Yeah, the freedom to practice at a state-approved, -licensed, and -run church. The freedom to be beaten, arrested, and killed for meditating in public. The freedom to be martyred. But Zemin makes the same mistake Gorbachev made in the '80s. By paying lip service to freedom, he helps both to corrode and expose his regime. Time will tell for the butchers of Beijing. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's a New High Horse; PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 08:24:37 AM ----- BODY: It's a New High Horse; Let Him Ride it a While Patrice Hill in the Washington Times does some excellent digging, finding the Clinton administration bending over at our expense for Enron. Excellent reporting, but that still isn't the story. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You're About to Read What PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 10:21:15 AM ----- BODY: You're About to Read What Happens When Posting Before Coffee AP wire from Drudge: Gumbo forces New Olreans International Airport to close. Man, and I thought I liked mine spicy. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Married, Single, We Pretty Much PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 10:43:35 AM ----- BODY: Married, Single, We Pretty Much Hit on Them All Somehow I missed it yesterday, but Doctor Frank has some wise, funny words on being nice to lovely French women even when they're married, Brit appeasement in the '30s, and Euroweenies. And yes, it's somehow all tied together. Fun! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He's a Man of Few PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 11:17:58 AM ----- BODY: He's a Man of Few Words, but Damn, the Turnover Never having made any sort of study of Special Forces, I never make any hard guesses as to how they might be used. It also puts me at a disadvantage in critiquing Part Four of James S. Robbins series on how to defeat Saddam. So I'll keep my review simple: Wow. Read it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: High Horse, Hobby Horse, Whatever PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 11:53:24 AM ----- BODY: High Horse, Hobby Horse, Whatever I had my long-winded, semi-erudite, somewhat sage say on CFR this morning, but it turns out J Bowen beat me to the punch -- and funnier, too. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Tim Blair May End Up PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 12:38:07 PM ----- BODY: Tim Blair May End Up Owing Me Many Grand for a Ring Melissa just dropped by the store on her lunch, and now has a new reason to re-think this whole marriage thing. I keep cackling and telling her to "put on disco music and dance for the killing!" ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Deadly Serious Business Israeli PM PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 02:27:59 PM ----- BODY: Deadly Serious Business Israeli PM Ariel Sharon announced his new not-quite-war/not-quite-peace plan for the Palestinian territories. Sharon isn't going for the "pull back and build a wall" strategy espoused by some, but close to it. The IDF will first set up "buffer zones" between Israeli and Palestinian communities, followed by the two-prong approach of "a ceasefire with complete Palestinian disarmament followed at some later time by a final drawing up of borders," according to the BBC. Read the full story here. The plan is messy, it won't satisfy the Arab populations -- but it's safer than capitulation and more reasonable than building a wall. So the question is, has Sharon found a middle way to provide enough security for his people that all-out war can be avoided until Arafat is gone and a settlement can be reached? Or, is he just delaying the inevitable and encouraging more terror attacks? I don't have the answer. What are your thoughts? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Nationalist and Socialist? Wasn't There PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 02:43:36 PM ----- BODY: Nationalist and Socialist? Wasn't There Once a German Party with a Name Like That? Do the Chinese not realize that if they don't stop sending missiles out to terrorist nations on rail cars and cargo ships, there might come a day when we have to send them some of our missiles by a more direct route? I'm not saying we should threaten Beijing. Certainly not so directly. I'm not saying I think things will ever deteriorate so far between our two countries. Their government won't/wouldn't last long enough for that. But I am saying that we live in a new world post 9/11, and if you want to be a civilized nation, you have to stop selling weapons of mass destruction -- or their delivery systems, you Chinese Communist Party idiots -- to barbarian enemies of civilization. This is an either/or situation. Communist regimes generally don't deal well with those, thinking that some clever rhetoric or dialectic or just good ol' propaganda can negate the negation. But no verbal trickery can close the gap between civilized and barbaric. They must choose one or the other. Should we someday find that a missile responsible for the death of our soldiers or the destruction of one of our landmarks bears the label "Made in China," then I will rest well, knowing the end is near for the CCP. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Shameless Self-Promotion? There's No Other PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 03:34:20 PM ----- BODY: Shameless Self-Promotion? There's No Other Kind A new edition of The Onion, funny as ever. "Americans Would Be Outraged If They Understood Enron Collapse" leads the pack of fresh stories. Fortunately, I already explained it all here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Moment of Silence, Please PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 04:19:42 PM ----- BODY: A Moment of Silence, Please If this is a clash of civilizations, then one of our soldiers has just been murdered by our barbarian enemies. The State Department confirms that Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl is dead. If Danny's murder stirs more of our press to join the battle against barbarians, madmen, religious intolerance and deceit, then his death will not have been in vain. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: I Am Not an Animal! PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 05:28:33 PM ----- BODY: I Am Not an Animal! I Am a... OK, I AM an Animal. But You Knew That A long but worthwhile post on Christianity, John Derrick-style, from Bellicose Woman Kathy Kinsley. Good reading for us nontheist-types, and you Thumpers ought to take a look at it, too. We can get along with you politically on some issues, but on others, you're truly medieval. Or primeval. Sometimelong-before-now-eval. Enough of my drivel. Go read Kathy already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Honor Them Twelve American soldiers PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 05:31:25 PM ----- BODY: Honor Them Twelve American soldiers feared dead after a helicopter crash in the Philippines. It's just been a shitty day for losing heros. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Just a Bad News Day PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 06:44:42 PM ----- BODY: Just a Bad News Day Andrew Olmstead is a guy whose blog keeps proving itself smarter and better informed that this one -- not that that always means much. His latest proves it again. And since I don't feel like posting much tonight, I'm mostly going to provide links to other worthy blogs. We'll see if that changes after dinner and a cocktail. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: First the Pentagon It's a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 07:59:28 PM ----- BODY: First the Pentagon It's a worse day than I thought. This policy would make all of us complicit when the next Daniel Pearl is killed. Goddamn them. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Wow. I Mean, Wow. Michelle, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 09:47:48 PM ----- BODY: Wow. I Mean, Wow. Michelle, Bronze. Irina, Silver. And 16-year-old American dark horse Sarah Hughes takes the gold after a fiece and exciting competition. Say what you will about the bad judging, the silly "sports," and Salt Lake City -- nights like tonight are why I'll always watch the Olympics. UPDATE: Putting politics in its proper place. Post victory, pre-medal ceremony interview with Sarah: Interviewer: "Who was that on the cell phone?" Sarah: "Someone just handed it to me, I think it was a Congressman or something." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Just Fun to Type PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 11:04:45 PM ----- BODY: It's Just Fun to Type "Mental Masturbation" Thomas Sowell (why don't more bloggers link to his work?) on what was once George Washington's birthday, and the sad ignorance most Americans have of our country's history. Ayn Rand said she studied history to learn how we got here, and philosophy so we'd know where to go. Whether you agree with Rand's philosohpy or not -- and I have major issues with large portions of Objectivism -- I don't think it's arguable that philosophy ungrounded in the reality of the past is nothing more than mental masturbation. Certainly that has something to do with why most philosophy departments add a negative to the sum of human knowledge. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Thanks, Kids Yesterday was a PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/21/2002 11:13:01 PM ----- BODY: Thanks, Kids Yesterday was a record-setting day for total page views, and today more individual readers visited VodkaPundit than ever before. After just seven weeks, we're on track for 18,000 hits for February. I know that's a mere fraction of what the big kids score in a single day, but you've all found your way here without a single mention, much less a link, from Andrew, Glenn, Virginia, Tim, or James. I figure that means I must be doing something right -- or at least entertaining. I'd like to think I amuse, but it's my hope that we're making each other think a little more, or at least a little harder. And I wouldn't be doing it without all the great responses in your emails and the "drinks" discussion areas that Seki set up for us here. Tomorrow is Friday -- let's shake some people up. UPDATE: Spoke too soon. Turns out we set records today for both total hits and unique visitors. Wow. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: An Open Letter to Pearl's PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 12:04:41 AM ----- BODY: An Open Letter to Pearl's Murderers Do you fuckers think you scare us with your cowardice? Do you think your little butchery home movie will give us pause? Do you think any god, even a real Old Testament asshole of a god, could smile on slitting the throat of a husband, a son, father-to-be? You will not be brought to justice. You will not be read your rights. You will not receive POW status, nor a fair trial. Odds are, you’ll be turned in for money by someone you trust. Some small number of US dollars that wouldn’t pay one month’s mortgage on an average house in this country, but which is a fortune in yours. Your end will be swift, it will be merciless, and it will be without regret. But the only hate we feel will be a brief flicker at ourselves, for letting you make us so angry today. Then we’ll forgive ourselves the slip and get back to the business of keeping the good parts of the earth safe for civilization. That’s just one of the differences between us and you. We forgive, then build, and somewhere in between we’ll exact a little revenge. You hate, then kill, and then kill some more. But not for much longer. Danny Pearl’s family will never get him back. His unborn child will never meet its daddy. But we will regain our peace of mind, and soon. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Is Dave Sure He Didn’t PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 08:50:00 AM ----- BODY: Is Dave Sure He Didn’t Mean St. Louis? Dave Barry, on the differences between Miami and Salt Lake City: “I come from Miami, where we NEVER obey traffic lights. Sometimes we shoot them.” ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: German Expressionist KitchenAid Ads? Even PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 10:22:23 AM ----- BODY: German Expressionist KitchenAid Ads? Even white guys haven't thought K-Mart was cool for a decade, if ever, and now Spike Lee is going to direct their TV spots? It really has been all downhill for Spike since "Do The Right Thing." Sad, just sad. Maybe later Jackson Pollack can do some radio spots for L.L.Bean. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: They Like Jerry Lewis Over PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 10:30:32 AM ----- BODY: They Like Jerry Lewis Over There, Too Jimmy Carter rips Bush's "Axis of Evil." Where do we start? Jimmy, Bush took down an entire enemy regime in a few weeks after the start of this war. Your peanut ass dithered for months over our hostages held in Iran, then screwed up the infiltration of just a couple helicopters. The Soviets invaded Afghanistan, and your response was to punish American athletes and farmers. W is arresting and damn well killing the perpetrators of 9/11. On your watch, the Soviets started adventures in Central America and all over Africa -- which you left unanswered. On Bush's watch, al Qaeda can't get a good night's sleep anywhere, because we're increasing our presence everywhere. W has ruined "progress" with North Korea, Iran, and Iraq, you say? Oh, right. I forgot -- you and your buddy Clinton got weapons inspectors back into Iraq, North Korea to stop exporting missiles, and a democratic regime in Iran. And poor dumb George just pissed all that away when he uttered three little words. Jimmy, might I suggest a Cheese Tour of France? Be sure to keep your mouth too full to talk. Incompetence is just a lamer form of evil, Mr. Carter. Don't make me go there. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Sam Donaldson's New Book: "Hold PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 10:45:09 AM ----- BODY: Sam Donaldson's New Book: "Hold on There, Mr. Dictator!" Instead of the by-the-numbers reporting we usually get on summit-type, more-choreographed-than-deflowing-a-virigin, dual-world-leader press conferences, The Times (UK) has a funny look at the Bush-Jiang press... uh, encounter yesterday. Read it, and you'll see why I've changed my mind about the Chinese being ready for democracy. Well, at least not Mr. Jiang. I'm now convinced we would have won the Cold War ten years sooner had Brezhnev ever been forced to take questions from the White House press corps. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Maybe We Should Also Federalize PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 10:53:20 AM ----- BODY: Maybe We Should Also Federalize the State Department Fraud in the National Guard? Our security left wanting by people with low pay and bad hours? Sounds like we'd better federalize the Nati... oh, yeah. Oops. Never mind. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Heterodoxy Reigns at VodkaPundit Rich PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 11:05:58 AM ----- BODY: Heterodoxy Reigns at VodkaPundit Rich Lowry makes the point on today's NRO that Shays-Meehan will mostly harm the two main political parties, by legally forcing donations away from Dems and Reps and towards advocacy groups like the NRA and the NEA. That's a bad thing, kids. Having two main parties is generally good for freedom. Since splinter groups (such as my love them/hate them Libertarians) don't have a chance in our system, forcing big coalitions. Big coalitions mean I have to get along sometimes with Christian conservatives. And that means that the Republican party is too splintered to do anything much against abortion or in favor of churches. And with the Democrats, the Greens and DLC are forced to get along, preventing either of them from going too far. Freedom is protected by governmental intertia. Not always, not perfectly, but usually and generally. So when we harm parties and support smaller groups, we discourage that big-tent non-ideology which keeps all the factions in line. And so CFR would encourage the sort of parliamentary-style mess you see in Italy and Japan. Shays-Meehan is bad in all sorts of ways I hadn't thought of yet. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Don't Ask and Sometimes Ye PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 11:35:45 AM ----- BODY: Don't Ask and Sometimes Ye Shall Receive Anyway Yeah, we pick on journalists -- sometimes so much we forget what a noble profession journalism is. Daniel Pearl's murder should make us remember for a long time. Sort of related, the big increase in traffic this morning is due to a kind mention from Tim Blair. Thanks, Tim. Only I'm not sure just how controlled that fury was last night. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We Really Need Steven Den PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 11:56:01 AM ----- BODY: We Really Need Steven Den Beste and Game Theory I'm not sure what to think about this one. The White House announced it's scrapping a decades-old policy pledging not to use nukes against non-nuclear nations. On the one hand, the old policy made a lot of sense. Since you can't nuke us, we won't nuke you -- which removes a possible motive for countries to want or feel they might need nuclear weapons. On the other hand, dictators wanting nukes is like 14-year-old boys wanting Britney Spears -- they're popular and temptingly, seemingly possible. Add to the mix that nukes aren't the only weapons of mass destruction -- and we DO promise to use nukes against anyone using chemicals or biologicals against us. Are we encouraging new nations to join the nuclear club, or are we just recognizing reality with this new policy? Discuss. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Because Gray is So Wishy-Washy PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 12:03:15 PM ----- BODY: Because Gray is So Wishy-Washy Also from the Washington Times (MOTTO: "The Red, White, and Blue Lady"), comes a report that the Administration wants Saddam out of power by 2005. Um... do we have anything more important on our platter taking up the next three years? 2005? I was hoping Special Forces would give Saddam's head on a platter to W for Christmas -- this year. Easter of next at the latest. Even optimists say we have maybe a year before Iraq has the Bomb. Waging an unpopular-with-Euroweenies war beats the hell out of trading mushroom clouds with a paranoid maniac. Let's get with the program. Or perhaps it's all disinformation. We'll know before it's over. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Not Hemingway, Because I PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 12:16:57 PM ----- BODY: But Not Hemingway, Because I Can't Afford That Much Jack D Random Thought: One of these days, I'd like to sit down for a serious bullshit-and-whisky session with Robert Kaplan and Ralph Peters or even just listen in. Would be a helluva good talk. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Wasn't He "Master of the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 12:25:19 PM ----- BODY: Wasn't He "Master of the Slide Whistle"? Dan at Happy Fun Pundit does it again. I mean, how many gun control pieces can wedge in references to Enya and Zamfir? Twice as funny as Dennis Miller, and only half as cloying. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Easier If You Just PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 12:43:39 PM ----- BODY: It's Easier If You Just Do As He Says Michael Fumento, one of the best reasons to buy Reason, has a forceful, disturbing column on deceitful war reporting from the Washington Post. Read it, but not on an empty stomach. I tell myself Ben Bradlee would have had Molly Moore's head on a stake. And be sure to click on the Reason link above. I first subscribed in '94, during the Virginia Postrel heyday, and haven't missed an issue since. Twenty bucks gets you 11 issues of the best sensible-shoes libertarianism there is. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Taste of Kaplan's Bleak PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 12:52:23 PM ----- BODY: A Taste of Kaplan's Bleak Future, Coming to a Hemisphere Near You Either the Colombian Army wins this, and Colombia gets to muddle on as before -- only slightly more distracted and broke. Or they lose, and what's left of that sad country ceases to function as a nation-state all all. Put your money on the latter. Other than the big coastal cities and mineral deposits, Colombia is finished. Jive Miguel is in from Bogota. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Rappin' Granny Started the Slippery PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 01:26:31 PM ----- BODY: Rappin' Granny Started the Slippery Slope Courtesy Drudge: "Elderly Woman in Wheelchair Smuggled Ecstacy." Next thing you know, our old people will be mainlining Geratol and doing drive-bys from the Silver Key volunteer transport van. And she had almost 10,000 doses! Damn, all I ever got from my grannies was fresh fruit and hard candies. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If You Outlaw Hate Speech, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 01:28:53 PM ----- BODY: If You Outlaw Hate Speech, Then Only Hate Will Outlaw Speech Have. Or Something Europe has a plan to outlaw all hate speech. No word yet on punishments for the "crime," but you can be damn sure the law won't cover eurocrats trash-talking the US ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Just Thought It Was Worth PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 01:31:50 PM ----- BODY: Just Thought It Was Worth a Mention You probably don't need the link, but here it is, anyway. James S. Robbins has posted the fifth and final part of his series at NRO on toppling Saddam. NRO is having a good day. That's three links from here to there today, and I haven't even had a chance to bitch and moan about the G-File yet. Stay tuned. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Flattery Will Get You Anything PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 02:23:56 PM ----- BODY: Flattery Will Get You Anything To those -- apparently hundreds -- of you visiting VodkaPundit for the first time today after following Tim Blair's link, let me thank you. I'm seeing a big upsurge in unique visitors, and an even bigger increase in overall hits. That means you're clicking the links -- and coming back here for more. I won't try to guess if you're doing it out of pleasure or masochism. But while you're here, bookmark the site. What you see today is what you'll see here every week day. Thanks, and salud! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The They Still Don't Get PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 02:43:49 PM ----- BODY: The They Still Don't Get It Department I may be late finding this one, but here it is. Bill Gertz reports that China shipped off yet another collection of missiles to Iran. This time they got a nice little boat load of naval anti-air missiles. An old college buddy of mine flies F-18s for the Navy. His life just got a little bit cheaper, thanks to Iran's terrorism and China's complicity. What part of "with us or against us" do the tyrants in Beijing not understand? If they're that hard up for money, they can always sell us more pocket calculators or household tools and whatever else it is they're making these days -- we'll buy them gladly. But how long do they think the dollar tap will stay open, when they continue to arm those who would do us harm? Forget what Washington might do, Mr. Jiang, and think of what the US consumer might do. We are the lifeblood of your regime. Without our dollars, you can't prop up your debt-riddled banks or stave off the bankruptcy of your state-owned enterprises. Without us, you are a blot on the sidewalk under the feet of an angry mob. This is not a threat; our government has nothing to do with how many of your trinkets we buy. But we are united and we are pissed and we will defend our interests. Now put your little missiles back in your pants where they belong. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Sharing the Wealth Let's send PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 02:53:07 PM ----- BODY: Sharing the Wealth Let's send some of you new people over to Sean McCray's Next Right for his excellent article on slavery reparations. I promise full restitution for every person of every color I have ever held in bondage. And get your mind back in the gutter -- that is exactly what I meant. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Cracking the Whip -- Not PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 03:06:57 PM ----- BODY: Cracking the Whip -- Not That We Suddenly Have a New Theme Here I certainly can't tell someone else what to write, especially when they already do it so well and for free. But let us all hope the blogosphere's Poet Laureate, Will Warren, is working on something appropriately moving for the family of Daniel Pearl. Just a thought, Will -- and I'm sure I'm at least a day behind you. UPDATE: I should know better than to try to give ideas to other bloggers. My last great suggestion was for Dan or Steve at Happy Fun Pundit to write a novelty song based on "At Long Last Ebola." I promise to stay on my prose barstool in the corner from now on, to use a really very awful metaphor. Prose barstool? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: You Read It Here First, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 03:19:05 PM ----- BODY: You Read It Here First, Kids Nothing to complain about in the G-File today -- except that Jonah stole my second-best rant from earlier today, then went and made it longer and with bigger words. Oh, and using little things like research and facts and stuff. Good reading. Check it out. Damn thief. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Special Notice If you think PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 03:26:02 PM ----- BODY: Special Notice If you think I'm being rude and ignoring my email, I'm really not. Just no access to my regular account until 5:30 Mountain Time. Bear with me. Or if the VodkaFiancée has been trying to write, then bare with me. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Holy Shit No Way Department PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 03:33:22 PM ----- BODY: Holy Shit No Way Department My bad. I missed Ken Layne's very kind link and even kinder words about me last night. You read here often, Ken? I had no idea -- and I'm very deeply flattered. For all the bombast here, I hope you know that's sincere. First Ken, then Tim. I feel like I've been given an Oscar and Olympic Gold all in 24 hours. Once Glenn links, I'll have that Nobel Prize for Blogging. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: To Dream the Impossible Dreeaaaam PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 04:11:11 PM ----- BODY: To Dream the Impossible Dreeaaaam Found the link to this one on InstaPundit. The European Union wants to form a 100,000-man "rapid reaction corps," which would be the spear head for a heavier, 250,000-strong multinational corps capable of two years of sustained operations. Really. OK, kudos to the eurocrats for being realistic enough to make the spearhead mostly Brits -- at least they have an actual standing army with some actual combat power and power projection ability. But the rest? By the time the EU has studied all the issues from all the angles, studied the studies, reported back to the proper commissions in triplicate, filed the environmental paperwork, and apologized to the unions for whatever imagined offense the unions take from all this... well, by that time, human nature will have been perfected and there will be no more war. And you only think I'm kidding. We'll see the New Soviet Man made real before we see a multi-national EU field army capable of traveling thousands of miles and staying there for months on end. NOTICE: VodkaPundit makes this solemn vow -- no more singing headlines. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Is That a Bottle in PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 05:59:37 PM ----- BODY: Is That a Bottle in Your Fly, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me? Taking a quick break from Olympic hockey to correct a serious omission. Will Wilkinson's Fly Bottle deserves some serious linkage, and has for longer than I've been around. You'll find him under After Work Cocktails -- because I need an entire day's worth of thinking before my brain is warmed up enough to handle one of the smartest blogs anywhere. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Caution: This Post Begins with PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 06:13:08 PM ----- BODY: Caution: This Post Begins with a Painfully Bad Pun Ebert gives "Queen of the Damned" a good rogering. Shame, too, because it sounds like the movie could have been campy fun. I gave up on Anne Rice about 10 pages into Memnoch the Devil. Poor woman started taking herself seriously and her readers for granted. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Jingoism Ahead Russia goes down, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 06:25:31 PM ----- BODY: Jingoism Ahead Russia goes down, 3-2. Not exactly the stuff miracles are made of, but exciting hockey. Olympic hockey gold will be between the US and Canada. Good thing Melissa works tomorrow night, because my skinny ass will be planted in front of the TV. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Wiley Strikes Again Missed this PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/22/2002 06:38:16 PM ----- BODY: Wiley Strikes Again Missed this Non Sequitur on Tuesday. Check it out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: They Didn't Mean to Obliterate PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/23/2002 11:36:58 AM ----- BODY: They Didn't Mean to Obliterate Seattle, Honest Bill Gertz again, this time with a report on Russian nuclear weapons and material "security" in today's Washtington Times. The usual scary stuff here, only with more detail than we usually get out of the Russian military. Gertz writes, "an unauthorized or accidental missile launch is 'highly unlikely' as long as the current safeguards are enforced and the central political authority exists." And now you know why I don't worry about Putin's sometimes heavy-handed ways. Until there are some real human institutions undergirding Russian society, they need a semi-authoritarian center. And a strong Moscow is safer for us, too. For a better explanation of why, go read Andrew Sullivan's Book Club for February. Or better yet, pick yourself up a copy of Robert Kaplan's The Coming Anarchy or Warrior Politics. I haven't read his Eastward to Tartary yet, but that's next on the bedside reading list. Kaplan makes excellent reading -- if you like scary peeks into the future. His fraternal twin in the world of fiction is the equally-excellent Ralph Peters. His novel Flames of Heaven is quite simply some of the finest literature of the '90s -- and sadly out of print. Worth the hunt for a used copy. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: That's All, Folks Chuck Jones PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/23/2002 11:49:42 AM ----- BODY: That's All, Folks Chuck Jones is dead. Remember before Bugs Bunny was given redeeming qualities? Remember when Daffy Duck was actually daffy? Remember when cartoon weren't just for children and weren't so PC? Remember when they were actually drawn? That was the work of Chuck Jones, the manic genius behind all the classic Warner Bros. cartoons of the '30s and '40s and '50s. By the '60s, it was all over. But that cartoon heyday was quite a ride. We missed you long before you left us, Chuck. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If You Ban Scientologoy, Then PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/23/2002 11:54:49 AM ----- BODY: If You Ban Scientologoy, Then Only Scientologists Will Have Bans. Is This Joke Old Yet? This one thanks to Drudge. A French prosecutor wants the courts to shut down the Paris-area "Church" of Scientology. Liberty, Equality, Fraternity? The French don't know the meaning of the first word in their own slogan. By trying to ban a church, you've admitted defeat -- but you cheese eating surrender monkies know all about that, don't you? Play from a position of strength, instead. Ridicule the silly bastards. UPDATE: VodkaPundit is no longer sure if he was referring to the French or Scientology when he wrote, "Ridicule the silly bastards." But does it have to be either/or? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Not Saying Much, But PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/23/2002 12:00:45 PM ----- BODY: It's Not Saying Much, But He Means Well Natalija Radic takes on Danial Pearl's killers a lot better than I did. Read it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: We're All the Same Height PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/23/2002 12:08:17 PM ----- BODY: We're All the Same Height Lying Down, and Other Bad Lines Megan "Makes Steve Wish He Were Taller" McArdle led the way to one of those silly and useless web personality tests. Except that this one seems neither silly nor useless. Fun, really -- and accurate. This one attempts to figure out which Great Philosopher you most adhere to. I scored 100% for Hobbes and 94% for Rand, so the test is pretty much dead-on. Take it. S'fun. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Damn, I Love the Blogosphere PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/23/2002 12:24:49 PM ----- BODY: Damn, I Love the Blogosphere Will Warren picked up my gauntlet and ran with it, to seriously mix up some metaphors. Go read his Daniel Pearl, R.I.P. Moving. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: They Really Don't Get It PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/23/2002 06:57:17 PM ----- BODY: They Really Don't Get It Department Thanks to InstaPundit for the link. Read this after breakfast Sunday. Read it twice. I'm going to go have a weekend now. Salud. UPDATE: The link went stale, but is somehow returned to piping hot fresh. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Hungover and Without Coffee, He's PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/24/2002 10:59:51 AM ----- BODY: Hungover and Without Coffee, He's Already Blogging George Will looked at Joe Lieberman's presidential prospects a couple weeks ago, and now turns his eye towards North Carolina Senator John Edwards. Worth your time. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Return of the Son of PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/24/2002 11:07:33 AM ----- BODY: Return of the Son of the Revenge of So What Do We Do with Them, Pt XVIII Excellent reporting -- not commentary -- from Tom Friedman at the NYT, ending his travels through Saudi Arabia. The upshot? Saudi is held hostage to its own tribalism. The odds of reform look scarce. Also, I think maybe Maureen Dowd wrote something, but I just wasn't up to clicking. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Balm for Itchy Trigger PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/24/2002 11:22:00 AM ----- BODY: A Balm for Itchy Trigger Fingers Disturbing report in the Washington Post on our lack of military readiness to tackle Saddam Hussein. We're looking at a minimum of six months, and more probably a year or longer before we'll have all the toys we need. (And before you skip this post, it is not yet another Look-What-Bill-Clinton-Did-to-Our-Armed-Forces lament.) The story did not indicate whether the 12-month timeframe included deployment -- which took six months to get everything in place for Desert Storm in '90-'91. However, reporters Walter Pincus and Karen DeYoung did say that basing in Saudi could be a problem. If we don't get permission from the Saudis, there simply is no other border nation that can duplicate their logistic support. From wide open spaces for maneuver, to all the diesel an army could ever desire, Saudi Arabia has it all. So things are going to get pretty exciting sometime next summer. If the Saudis don't cooperate on basing like they did n '90, then we're going to have to either topple that regime, or put a helluva lot of soldiers into the tiny territory of Kuwait. And bunching up armor like that -- we called it a "target-rich environment" when the Soviets did it -- is completely against US Army doctrine. I think Colin Powell is going to stack up some serious frequent flier miles between Washington and Riyadh before August. UPDATE: I agree with Pat -- see the "drink" below -- that we should take the Caesar Option with Iraq. You know, "All of Gaul is divided into three parts." Give oil-rich Mosul (with Kurdish autonomy) to the Turks, the Shi'ite south to a democratic Iran, and the Sunni center we'll turn over to the UN for a thorough Marshall Planning. Here's why. The Turks are going to take a swift kick to the economic groin helping us in this war. The '91 Gulf War set them back a decade, and we didn't do much to help. So, the oil fields of Mosul go to them. They can bootstrap themselves into the 21st Century in a way the Arab oil states either can't or won't. Of course, there must be firm protections for the Kurds, along with revenue sharing. Perhaps some sort of federal system. Assuming we follow my Iran First strategy, we'll have a friendly-or-at-least neutral Iran to work with. Their reward for democracy will be custody of their Shi'ite brethren in the south of Iraq, the so-called "marsh Arabs." The best part? Imagine a democratic Iran that also borders Saudi. Would the 7,000 princes shit themselves before or after booking one-way flights to Switzerland? The Sunni Arab middle of Iraq will start learning Canadian English and Walloon as UN peacekeepers move in, set up a constitution, hold elections, etc. We'll Marshall Plan them into 2003. Or at least into 1953, which is still a huge step up. At this point, the "government" of Syria will probably have collapsed. Perhaps we should fold that country into Baghdad rump of Iraq(it's been discussed before), creating a UN-administered Arab democracy from the Tigres to the Mediterranean. The Israelis can handle Beirut and Ramallah -- Egypt can wait for another campaign. Sadly, the Administration is not quite daring enough for this approach. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Another Hero Felled in the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 12:03:57 AM ----- BODY: Another Hero Felled in the War This one is just too sad to comment on. It seems there are fools and heroes in equal numbers. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He Also Claimed There'd Be PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 12:06:19 AM ----- BODY: He Also Claimed There'd Be Only One Tiny Post about CFR VodkaPundit is going to ignore, mostly, the whole Aaron Sorkin/NBC/White House/Stupid Remarks brouhaha. The VodkaFiancée got me to watch an episode of the dreadfully silly The West Wing a few months back, and once was enough. Here was a show, praised for its wit and supposed knowledge, getting a most basic fact wrong from Poli Sci 101. Some smart and pretty person was trying to get the President to back some bill that would give Congress power to regulate driver’s licenses or some such Leviathan silliness. Some other smart and pretty person retorted, “Giving Washington that power would be federalism run amok!” Need I say more about Mr. Sorkin's brains? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Tom Ridge Is Still Useless PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 12:11:39 AM ----- BODY: Tom Ridge Is Still Useless Reuters (Motto: “One Man’s Wire Service is Another Man’s Unfunny Laughingstock”) reports a tunnel has been found under the US embassy in Rome. The tunnel is new, and officials believe it was dug in order to plant a bomb under the compound, in “days, or even hours.” Does this mean that Homeland Security has made the US such a tough nut to crack that the barbarians are now just going after our overseas offices? Or just that Italian is just a bit easier to break than ours? Or that they just had the opportunity? If you guessed a combo somewhere between the second and last guesses, then you win a dollar. Homeland Security is mostly a joke, and will remain so. I don’t mean that because of laziness or incompetence, but just that real security is incompatible with freedom – and we’ll keep out freedom. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And That Ululating Is Damn PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 12:14:43 AM ----- BODY: And That Ululating Is Damn Annoying, Too Head over to Opinion Journal and read Victor Davis Hanson’s contribution. Anything under the subhead “They hate us because their culture is backward and corrupt” is automatically good reading. Thanks to Mr. Hanson and a select few bloggers, I’m happy to report I’ll never corner the market on In Your Face punditry. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Paging Kolkata Has Suman Palit PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 12:17:21 AM ----- BODY: Paging Kolkata Has Suman Palit read this one yet? I’m curious to read what he has to say about the current influence of Hindu nationalism in India. It’s always messy trying to help politically even your friends in other countries. And when nationalism is the problem, the best thing outsiders can do is probably just butt the hell out. UPDATE: Suman has read this, and replied with a yet another incisive post at Kolkata Libertarian. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: In Other News, Arab Alchemists PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 12:25:30 AM ----- BODY: In Other News, Arab Alchemists Fail to Create Gold -- Again! Safire gets it right Monday, with the (not so shocking) revelation that, “The way to end the Palestinian guerrilla war against Israel is to demonstrate forcefully that such a war cannot be won.” Part of the reason Germany launched World War II was they never experienced firsthand the horrors of modern war, like, say Belgium and northern France did in WWI. After getting their entire nation leveled and then divided in '45, they’ve finally settled down to a posture not much more aggressive than Denmark. So, Safire nails it when he says the US should step back and let the warring parties, well, war it out a while. That’s one way to make sure the Palestinians get tired of hitting their collective head against the Wailing Wall. But. The masses of the Arab world still live in a pre-Renaissance mindset. Reason and logic are in a distant tie for third place behind mysticism and faith. How do you prove futility to a mind unwilling to accept any proof outside the Koran? How does one demonstrate resolve to a “street” unwilling to accept evidence they don’t like? Remember, these are the same people who claim to believe that Jews/the CIA/Bush/anyone-but-Arabs committed the 9/11 atrocities. Second, even Western Europe only begrudgingly accepts Israel’s existence, and would probably be happier if that “shitty little country” just went away. Not that they want another Holocaust or anything, but… let's be kind and just say that Israel gets in the way of France really kowtowing to Middle East oil sheiks. Pity. Anyway, the point is this: With global acceptance of Israel damn near zero outside the US, how far up can Israel crank the heat before the whole planet demands another halt to the "cycle" of violence? We don’t have to listen to the whining, but the US will pay an increasingly higher political price the closer Israel gets to forcing an equitable settlement. That’s right -- the better the chances for peace, the more support we’ll lose for our War on Terror. How’s that for a nice little mess? And why does it take a cranky insomniac blogger to see the stuff that Safire should have put in his column? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Jetlag, Hangover, It's All Good PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 12:30:28 AM ----- BODY: Jetlag, Hangover, It's All Good Andrew Sullivan is apparently fully recovered from his jetlag, and has some seriously good blogs this morning. While Krugmanwatch is up to two posts, neither one involves Enron -- breathe a heavy sigh of relief. Good reading. Get to it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Insomniacs Should Never Look at PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 12:35:30 AM ----- BODY: Insomniacs Should Never Look at the News After 4pm The Washington Times reports that two US senators beleive there may be 100 al Qaeda operating still in the US, and that another terrorist attack "is probable." And people wonder why I can never sleep. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why Self-Infatuate When You Can PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 12:39:12 AM ----- BODY: Why Self-Infatuate When You Can Have an Intern Do it for You? A Tim Blair post I missed Sunday, but you should read it right the hell now. I won't say much, other than this: Clinton is apprently projecting the hate he knows he deserves onto our entire nation. His self-infatuation really knows no bounds. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Closing Unceremoniously VodkaPundit's final words PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 12:54:59 AM ----- BODY: Closing Unceremoniously VodkaPundit's final words on the 2002 Winter Games: I still love the Olympics, but they sure as hell don't make it easy. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Drives You Over the Clift PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 10:16:31 AM ----- BODY: Drives You Over the Clift Eleanor Clift, last seen trying to proposition both the 42nd president and his wife, now asks if the War on Terror is just a re-election ploy for President Bush. When President Clinton lobbed a few missiles to retaliate against terrorist attacks on U.S. embassies, the punditocracy shouted “Wag the Dog!” President Bush is traveling the globe beating the war drums and there’s barely a scintilla of skepticism. Eleanor, do you see those smoking ruins in Manhattan? Yeah, there went my skepticism that this is a real war. “Bush says U.S. plans no attack on North Korea.” What kind of insanity would such an attack actually be? Does North Korea supply missiles to terrorist states like Iran? Yes. Does North Korea starve its own people by the millions? Yes. Is North Korea probably the most vile and oppressive regime on the planet? Yes. Is Eleanor Clift capable of non-carping, non-shrill, rational thought? No. Yet the pronouncement is treated with sober reflection, as if Bush had just made a major foreign-policy statement. When the commander-in-chief of the world's paramount military says in time of war that he has no plans to attack a nation, you better damn well believe it's a major foreign policy statement. Bush's numbers are so high he could probably announce he was sending the Marines in to Eleanor's Georgetown condo and get cheers. Hell, I'd cheer for that myself, but only if there was a lot of collateral damage. Most pundits and policymakers in Washington figure the Bush administration will take military action against Iraq within six months—just in time for the fall elections. That would smash Democratic hopes of turning the country’s attention to domestic issues where Bush might be vulnerable. There you have it -- Clift comes out full bore with the Wag the Dog scenario. Look, you Marxist Shrewpixie, W is not a man with a sex scandal brewing or some criminal revelation about to come to light. He is, whether you like him or not (and I have some big issues with the man) our wartime leader. Iraq is a nation that every decade or so invades its neighbors, gasses its own people, and is working on WMDs with which to kill our people. Furthermore, Iraq is not in compliance with the ceasefire they signed in 1991 -- reason alone to resume the war we won the first time. Bush is vulnerable on the environment and his handling of the economy, but the reputation he once had as a shallow party animal was left behind in the dust of the World Trade Center. Bush will continue to keep the war on terrorism front-and-center. He believes in it, and it works politically. Read that last part over again. Clift sublty makes the claim that there's no difference between the smoldering ruins in NYC (I think most all of us believe in that) and what "works politically." In other words, if Bush's numbers weren't so high, he'd be pulling back from the War. We need people like Clift to drag us back to "reality" so that we won't support the President's re-election effort, er, war. Eleanor Clift wants to convince you that stopping those who would kill you is less important than the Democrats re-taking Congress in November. Your life is less important that Eleanor Clift's political desires. We have not had a total war since World War II, and it could happen again if Bush continues on the path he has set toward reshaping the geopolitical world into an American global empire. Having out cities gutted and our civilians killed is preferable to total war? Look, babe, we didn't start this total war -- they did years ago; it just took us a while to notice. 9/11 woke us up. If we don't "reshape the geopolitical world," then it will continue to reshape our downtowns. With bombs or passenger jets or nukes. And isn't an American global empire (which the world can't become, for mostly domestic reasons) preferable to the murderous disorder we have now? The president who used to get that deer-in-the-headlights look is now so confident that he could be his own worst enemy. Afghanistan was easy. But war without end is not a policy; it’s asking for trouble. Once again, we didn't ask for this trouble -- it crashed into our skyscrapers and our military HQ. And this is not a war without end -- it ends when the other side either cries uncle or draws its last breath. UPDATE: A quick reply to Bill's post in the "drink" just below. Now wait, Bill -- Eleanor didn't make a single quagmire reference, so we have to give her 18 Brownie Points. Add those 18 into her current total, and she stands at -1,000,006. So she's not quite out of the hole yet. On the other hand, I think we might have to take back those points if we work from the assumption that she didn't mention quagmire because she's afraid we'll win. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Is it 2004 Already? Longer PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 10:32:04 AM ----- BODY: Is it 2004 Already? Longer than your usual web offering, but Howard Fineman does some excellent Internet-only reporting on the 2004 presidential race. Hop to it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: No, He Made Up "Shrewpixie" PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 10:41:39 AM ----- BODY: No, He Made Up "Shrewpixie" Himself Found this site through Sekimori, my dedicated web designer and all-'round great gal. The Creative Vulgarian's Lexicom. Read this one at work, but keep the text small and be careful of coffee nose shots. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Technical Difficulties. Please Stand By PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 10:46:23 AM ----- BODY: Technical Difficulties. Please Stand By Blogspot is having one of those days again. I can -- and will -- keep posting, but your load times might be a bit longer than you like. But stick around. There will be a quiz later. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Was it for Calling Eleanor PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 10:48:55 AM ----- BODY: Was it for Calling Eleanor Clift a "Marxist Shrewpixie?" Wow! I just made Sgt. Stryker's Red Dye #5. That's his blog of the day or week -- can't remember which. Sarge, I'm very, very flattered. Also, I'm thankful for the temporary promotion from "luscious caramel." That one made me feel kinda dirty. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Raised Glass Salute Back PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 10:57:42 AM ----- BODY: A Raised Glass Salute Back at Ya The world wide blog has probably all linked to Andrew Sullivan's "A Blogger Manifesto" already, but I see no reason not to join in the pile-on. Andrew writes: It was, I realized two years ago, the nascent Napster of the journalism industry. Just as Napster by-passed the record companies and brought music to people with barely any mediation, so Blogger by-passed established magazines, newspapers, editors and proprietors, and allowed direct peer-to-peer journalism to flourish. He's half right. Most of us don't have the resources to do our own reporting. But we can do the cheap version -- punditry -- every bit as well as the pros. Those who actually make a living at it, like Sullivan, provide the red meat the rest of us feed on, then pre-digest for the general public in short, witty snippets which sometimes include the word "shewpixie." Seriously, the entire article is -- unlike other recent pieces -- true to the spirit of blogging. It's also a joy to read and a great reminder why so many of us have taken this little hobby far too far. Sullivan is one of the guys who got this whole thing going -- you owe to him to read his manifesto. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Much Scarier than al Qaeda PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 11:45:57 AM ----- BODY: Much Scarier than al Qaeda -- Pakistan Already Has Nukes Go read this post of Little Green Footballs. Self-abnegation and national failure as excuses for nuclear holocaust. Frightening, and all too plausible. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: VP Promises to Lay Off PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 01:44:24 PM ----- BODY: VP Promises to Lay Off Jonah for Maybe 12 Hours Good words from Jonah Goldberg to Pat Buchanan: "Race isn't the point, so drop it. Now." ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: That Is a Telescope and PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 02:49:24 PM ----- BODY: That Is a Telescope and I'm Happy to See You One of the most popular websites pays good money to pollute the web with Eleanor Clift -- while we have to visit labor-of-love amateurs like Steven Den Beste for the real news. If you've ever looked up at a summer sky on a moonless night and thought, "Oh, pretty," then you need to read what the crew of Space Shuttle Columbia is doing to Hubble. We ain't seen nothin' yet. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Pro at Work Today's PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 03:30:31 PM ----- BODY: A Pro at Work Today's G-File offers a takedown of Pat Buchanan so large as to be matched in scope only by Pat's mouth. Read: "To be able to say something that wins applause from racists and bigots without technically saying anything racist or bigoted is a great gift, for want of a better word." Jonah Goldberg usually frustrates even us small-l libertarians because of his willful misunderstanding of our beliefs. But when he's willing to take down a fellow right-winger -- and does it so masterfully -- you'll understand why we keep reading his stuff. Keep it up, Jonah. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why Third World Nations Need PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 03:55:35 PM ----- BODY: Why Third World Nations Need First World Standardized Testing From Reuters (motto: "One Man's Trusted News Source Is Another Man's Bladder Control Problem") comes this story: "Chinese police have detained a student who poured sulphuric acid on five bears in Beijing Zoo as part of an experiment to test their intelligence, state media said on Monday." First off, you do not taunt bears, poke at bears with sticks, or pour burning things on bears. They are bigger than you and have sharp claws. There is the possible exception of panda bears, which are cute and cuddly and would probably rather gnaw your skull than breed. Second, are we sure the test wasn't designed to determine the lack of intelligence of certain undergrads? Third. "Liu was a student at Beijing's prestigious Tsinghua University, often called China's equivalent of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States." I've never been a student at MIT or any Ivy League school, but after a brief tour of their campus 20 years ago, I will make the bold prediction that the students there do not pour acid on bears, throw rocks at bee hives, or charge at lions. Fourth. Not even students at our goddamn community colleges meddle with dangerous wildlife. Much. Fifth. "Causing injury to rare animals in China is punishable by a fine and jail terms of up to or exceeding 10 years, Xinhua said." Assuming, of course, they can identify the remains out of the tiger droppings. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Why We Love Our Readers, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 04:37:46 PM ----- BODY: Why We Love Our Readers, Reason #1,000,006 Extremely Smart Reader John Yundt-Pacheco has been doing extra credit homework and comes up with couple of links that become juicy when mixed. Try this starter from today's Jerusalem Post: "Sounding more like an Israeli than an American politician, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton last night lambasted Palestinian Authority Chairman Yasser Arafat and said he has failed as a leader." Wow. Clinton hit that one out of the Yankee Stadium she's visited maybe twice. It's not exactly a eureka! moment, but for the woman who (as John reminded me) once publicly kissed Suha Arafat, it's a nice little bout of honesty. Now, let's set the wayback machine for 1999 and FrontPage Magazine. Here are a couple snippets from a Lowell Ponte column: Jewish-born former Clinton consultant Dick Morris and Arkansas Clinton guard Larry Patterson have told of Hillary saying things that sound shockingly anti-Jewish. While Hillary chaired the New World Foundation from 1982 until 1988, it gave a $15,000 grant to Grassroots International, which, according to Olson, "had direct ties to the PLO." On December 6 [1999], Hillary plans to host a $500-per-person gala fundraiser in Manhattan for Americans for Peace Now. This group, writes Gregg Birnbaum in the New York Post, not only works to create a Palestinian state but also one with part of Jerusalem as its capital. I usually don't jump on the Hillary- or Bill-bashing bandwagon very often. Others do it better -- and it's been done to death. But the contrast -- not to mention hypocrisy -- was brought into such sharp relief by those two stories that I couldn't resist. Speaking out of both sides of the mouth is a common affliction among the jabbering class, but when it concerns a vital ally in a time of war, it can't be ignored. SPECIAL: Bonus extra credit points to anyone who remembers the "million and six" reference in the headline. Here's a hint -- it's from the late '70s and I was way too young to be listening to that guy. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Our Long National Nightmare is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 04:47:40 PM ----- BODY: Our Long National Nightmare is Over It's official -- Sarge Stryker is back in business and back with a vengeance. Check out the Universal Translator and his live dissection of Nicolas Kristof. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Yet Another Bit of Shameless PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/25/2002 06:42:15 PM ----- BODY: Yet Another Bit of Shameless Self-Promotion Jackson Murphy takes the news networks to task: CNN, MSNBC, FOX hello are you listening? Please for the love of god, take stupid shows like “Talkback Live” off the air and give us our own show. (Just a thought) Want me to run the numbers on this? Take Bloggers and other newsies in North America and you could bury the other shows with ratings. Might I add to Jackson's rant that I'm quite telegenic and have broadcast experience? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He Was So Close to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:00:40 AM ----- BODY: He Was So Close to Being Right The NYT’s Nicolas Kristof is quickly becoming their Bizarro Friedman. Friedman is the guy who is so dead on 90% of the time, that the 10% he gets totally backwards is completely frustrating. Now here comes Junior P-Man Kristof, who has the formula backwards. As readers of Sgt. Stryker know, Kristof can’t get much right. Let’s say 90%. And today demonstrates that the 10% he gets right, he gets so amazingly right that your head spins. Today Kristof tackles North Korea, where the US really hasn’t had a policy since Eisenhower, Nicolas is correct to point out. Well, no policy much other than to stick an infantry division on the DMZ between the two Koreas and hope like hell the North Koreans never march south again. It’s not that they’d win, but they’d set South Korea back economically a double decade and politically even further. What it comes down to is that Clinton’s ill-advised 1994 light-water reactor deal isn’t going to, well, hold water. Basically, Clinton offered to feed the Democratic People’s Republic and provide two light-water plants in exchange for unverifiable promises not to build a weapons production-capable nuclear plant. That deal is not going to stick. Unsurprisingly, the Dear Leader doesn’t trust W and President Bush (surprise!) doesn’t much trust East Asia’s last hard-line Stalinist dictator. Writes Kristof: "The moment that North Korea is convinced that the light-water reactors are not going to be delivered, they will explore alternative avenues" — meaning reviving the nuclear program, said Han S. Park, a political scientist at the University of Georgia who is a regular visitor to North Korea. So far, so good. Could we put something on the table to get the North to play nice? Sure – if we’re willing to give them everything they want. Bad idea. One, it would show we’ll cave to dictators in search of nuclear weapons. Two, we’d be propping up a regime that has so many of its 22 million subjects go hungry that the capital city is bare of vegetation, including grass. Three, there’s no way to verify any deal with a nation as hermetically sealed as the DPRK. But then Kristof goes back to being himself: The only practical measure I can see is to press ahead on engagement with North Korea. That helped tame another Asian Communist regime, beginning in 1972 when an earlier Republican president showed the courage to initiate a real, high-level dialogue with China. China, already armed with nukes, was needed as a counterbalance to the Soviet Union at a time when the US was brought low politically, morally, and militarily by the pullout from South Vietnam. North Korea is a tin pot country trying to get nukes. The trick is to keep them from doing so without doing much to keep that rotten dictatorship functioning. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If They Don't Have to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:09:47 AM ----- BODY: If They Don't Have to Join, Why Do We? Wish them luck, but don't count on them winning. From Drudge, this Times (UK) story of a small group of brave Swiss, determined to keep their country free and neutral -- by keeping Switzerland out of the UN. Cute. I hope they get their wish. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Following Is Fiction, But PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:14:35 AM ----- BODY: The Following Is Fiction, But That Doesn't Make It Any Less True SorkinWatch Update: It's just after 11pm Pacific Time. No bouts of verbal diarrhea or political Tourette's Syndrome this evening, but he's only on his first bowl and Leno isn't on yet. The baggie of shrooms lies untouched next to the Cheetohs on his nightstand, so visual acuity is still sharp and grounded in reality. We'll try to provide more details if he lights up again during the Gilligan Marathon. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Following Is Fiction, But PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:14:35 AM ----- BODY: The Following Is Fiction, But That Doesn't Make It Any Less True SorkinWatch Update: It's just after 11pm Pacific Time. No bouts of verbal diarrhea or political Tourette's Syndrome this evening, but he's only on his first bowl and Leno isn't on yet. The baggie of shrooms lies untouched next to the Cheetohs on his nightstand, so visual acuity is still sharp and grounded in reality. We'll try to provide more details if he lights up again during the Gilligan Marathon. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Raised Glass Salute to PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:21:11 AM ----- BODY: A Raised Glass Salute to Blorg(?) I don't know who Dan Rector is. I'd never heard of his Blorg blog before just now. But Dan has a wonderful take on Olympic hockey, funny names, and what it means (or doesn't) to be an American. Check him out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: How Many Toasts Is That? PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:27:33 AM ----- BODY: How Many Toasts Is That? Just found another blog that hasn't been around very long, but is surely worth a read or three. Check out Sine Qua Non Pundit by Charles Austin. If I keep this up the Raised Glass Salutes, things are going to get very wobbly here soon. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: If You Outlaw Arms Merchants, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:38:53 AM ----- BODY: If You Outlaw Arms Merchants, Then Only Laws Will Mechants Out-Arm. Or Something An ex-Soviet Army officer may be the merchant behind the madness. The Washington Post reports that Victor Bout runs an arms empire out of United Arab Emirates, and US and European intelligence agencies say they're thwarting his operations. This is part of the story I thought of briefly, ages ago, then promptly forgot about entirely. Click for details. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Caution: The Following Post Is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:55:09 AM ----- BODY: Caution: The Following Post Is Designed to Annoy Republicans. And Democrats Another story we should see on our front pages every day but don't, is Colombia's new offensive against FARC guerillas. In case you haven't been following, FARC is an old Latin-style Marxist group, so flush with drug money that they carved out their own mini-country the size of Switzerland inside of Colombia. Three years ago, Colombia was so desperate and broke they negotiated a so-called "peace zone" which FARC could "govern" unmolested by the Colombian army, courts, police, you-name-it. Imagine if Taiwain were in the middle of China, instead of an island. Better yet, make it the other way around. While Bill Clinton was busy getting his knob polished, Colombia was fighting for its very existence -- and losing. So, forgetting for a moment the delicious irony of a rich Marxist group buying their own jungle dictatorship, let's look at what's going on now. A few days ago, Colombia President Andres Pastrana ordered the army back into FARC's territory. You can read my earlier comments here, complete with an obscure Steely Dan reference. The reason I say we need to pay more attention to this mess is shown in today's LA Times. Reporter T. Christian Miller writes that Colombia discovered terrorist training camps, a maintenance yard, and pretty much everything else your modern rogue state needs to dysfunction. We know IRA barbarians trained there -- who else might have? While I doubt Colombia has much future as a genuine nation-state, in this fight they deserve our help and our attention. NOTE: Oh, and if you want to take FARC's drug money away, don't count on reforming junkies, Aaron Sorkin, or half my old college buddies. Just legalize the crap and watch those ridiculous profit margins wither away like the Marxist state. SECOND NOTE: Hah! The Marxists states have mostly withered away -- it's the capitalist states that are thriving. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Please Note I Did Not PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 01:02:41 AM ----- BODY: Please Note I Did Not Use the Word "Cakewalk" Jim Dunnigan -- one of the guys who invented modern war-gaming -- has a good look at the Iraqi military we face today. And how, exactly, we might face it. Finally, something cheerful. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: SorkinWatch Update -- Midnight Edition PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 01:23:55 AM ----- BODY: SorkinWatch Update -- Midnight Edition Sorkin has passed out upright on the sofa with a tumbler of Jack on his belly and a Camel Light filter burnt out between his fingers. The television is still on and showing bits of Leno. Sorkin let out one brief screed using the mysterious phrase, "touch me, Rummy," but it is believed that was a dream and not a conscious outburst. The shrooms remain untouched, but the last of the Cheetohs are gone. Our spies have yet to uncover any further details. Stay tuned for further reports just as soon as Aaron has slept it off. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Steal This Column Link courtesy PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 11:06:30 AM ----- BODY: Steal This Column Link courtesy Andrew Sullivan. Exposed by Michael Lewis, the greed of Enron employees. No, not the bosses, the employees. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Maybe Not That Soon Yes, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 11:35:40 AM ----- BODY: Maybe Not That Soon Yes, kids -- Blogger is cranky again today. I offered it some of my coffee, but to no avail. Hang in there -- I'm sure Ev will have the problem fixed before there's a new Pope. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Caution: Many Bad Puns Ahead PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 11:46:40 AM ----- BODY: Caution: Many Bad Puns Ahead From Reuters (Motto: "One Man's Wire Service Is Another Man's Rectal Exam") we learn that Ohio's Renegade cow has, after 11 days on the run, been captured. In case you hadn't, um, heard, the cow escaped from a slaughterhouse before it could, uh, meet its maker. Kowtowing to its new celebrity status, a Ken Meyer Meats representitive said they have decided to let bessie live. Then this, "Marge Schott, the former owner of the Cincinnati Reds' baseball team, has said the cow can have a new home on her farm. " Asked for comment, the cow simply walked back into the slaughterhouse. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: SorkinWatch -- Midday Edition Our PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 11:52:27 AM ----- BODY: SorkinWatch -- Midday Edition Our Los Angeles Celebrity Spy Network has the following notebook entries on "The West Wing" producer Aaron Sorkin's latest activities. 9:00am No political talk, still asleep upright on sofa. "Today Show" blaring on TV. Jack D spilled 9:37am Shuffles off sofa. Searches bedroom for bong, finds it on sofa in living room. Quick morning pick-me-up. 10:17am No shower, yesterday's clothes, puts on baseball cap and heads to Starbucks. Impossible to determine if that was a lowfat halfcaff latte or a regular latte. Will be sending intern in to dig through trash for reciept. More exciting details on the life and times of this political dynamo/TV genius coming soon. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Juan's Bucket O' Really Fine PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:01:13 PM ----- BODY: Juan's Bucket O' Really Fine Rants I just didn't have the emotional energy to deal with Pual Krugman's latest Brush with Idiocy today -- so I'm extra-glad Juan Gato did such a smash-up job of it. A takedown of Krugman better than even Sullivan has done in weeks. Worth your time. Check it out. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Right About NOW I'm probably PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:20:32 PM ----- BODY: Right About NOW I'm probably the last blogger to link to the latest Wendy McElroy on Fox, but I needed an excuse to use that semi-witty headline. If I'm late with the links, it's because like Ken Layne, I don't believe that getting to work early -- or even waking up before brunch -- is a virtue. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: So What Are You Still PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:25:21 PM ----- BODY: So What Are You Still Doing Here? Hypertext novelty songs! Yes, the latest from Will Warren serves not just as great entertainment, but further proof that he is a genius. On the other hand, I'm a semi-philistine, so take my opinions cultural with a grain of salt. Or perhaps an entire salt lick. But whatever you do, read Will's Such A Disagreeable Man. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: SorkinWatch -- Special Edition 11:40am PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:40:20 PM ----- BODY: SorkinWatch -- Special Edition 11:40am Conspiracy theorists, take note. Starbucks employee Condoleeza (not her real name) claims to have no recollection of Sorkin saying anything treasonous while giving his order or while standing in line. She also claims not to remember whether he asked for a "little" cinnamon, or "a dusting" of cinnamon. Certainly sounds like a cover-up. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: "The Amazing Kristof" Early this PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 12:51:58 PM ----- BODY: "The Amazing Kristof" Early this morning I took issue (surprise!) with Nicolas Kristof's Tuesday NYT column. For an even smarter (although less smart-ass) appraisal, get your self over to Smarter Times. Thanks to Sarge for that headline -- but I'm gonna figure out a Kreskin joke one of these days. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And That Includes the Ones PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 01:00:47 PM ----- BODY: And That Includes the Ones Aaron Sorkin Doesn't Know Headline from Drudge (although the link wasn't working last time I checked): Teens Drink Quarter of All Alcohol Consumed in U.S. So explain to me then why I still found it damn near impossible to get laid in high school. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Tom Clancy Drool-Fest Alert Now PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 01:16:33 PM ----- BODY: Tom Clancy Drool-Fest Alert Now this is just cool. Steven J. Cole writes in Strategy Page: The US Navy has now decided to convert four (instead of just two) Trident missile submarines to carry conventional cruise missiles. Moreover, it is studying new kinds of warheads and payloads for the missiles, as well as new missiles. Some possibilities include a supersonic missile to hit targets that are likely to move, an unmanned recon drone that could be lofted over the target by a cruise missile and then extend wings and cruise like an aircraft, and various kinds of bomblets, penetrating warheads, or fuel-air explosives. Boomers are big (the size of a WWII aircraft carrier), they're slow, and they steer like an Ohio cow. But there's not a nation on earth that can find ours. Hell, we usually can't even find ours. A guy I knew briefly back in my Arcata days used to work sonor for an advanced Los Angeles-class attack sub in Squadron 22 out of Groton, I think. He had a great little sea story... The were on mock patrol, hunting for an Ohio-class missile boat that was doing the world's best impression of falling into a hole and dragging the hole away. The sonor guy thought he maybe heard something that might have possibly somehow been the boomer, then it was gone. The Captain logged it -- and later they both got very nice marks in their dossiers. You see, when the two sub skippers had their notes compared after the exercise, it turns out they had heard the boomer -- they just didn't know it at the time. So our very best hunter-killers can maybe sometimes find one of our SSBNs under ideal circumstances, but surely no Axis of Evil country can. And when coverted for "conventional" attack work, there's not a nation on earth they won't be able to sneak up on, hurt badly, and then slink away. Cool. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's Just that Kind of PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 04:39:08 PM ----- BODY: It's Just that Kind of Day The new issue of Time just arrived in my mailbox. The cover asks, "Can Bono save the world?" Punchline A: I dunno. Can smoking cure cancer? Punchline B: I thought he died skiing. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: SorkinWatch: The Banality of... Um... PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 04:48:27 PM ----- BODY: SorkinWatch: The Banality of... Um... Banality Spy notebooks list the following 12:01pm Aaron returns home from Starbucks. Drops empty latte cup on sidewalk 12:10pm Two hits off bong. Sitting in front of typewriter and small mirror with razor blade. 1:15pm Two "West Wing" scripts and "A Return to Sports Night" pilot script complete 1:20pm Phone call from agent. Unintelligible, other than repeated use of phrase "you can't make me." 1:30pm-2:48pm Watching TVLand. Once shouted an obscentiy at Wilbur, but still nothing even remotely seditious. 2:48pm-3:48pm Watching TVLand with a fresh bottle of Jack and a crumpled softpack of Camel Lights. We're all up to date now. More exciting details as our spies report in! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: This One Will Generate Some PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 07:19:15 PM ----- BODY: This One Will Generate Some Googles Mandatory reading from Dick Morris (no, really) in today's New York Post. I would have found this hours ago, were I not wasting time with the silly SorkinWatch and Drunken Teen Sex Debate. Where has the day gone? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: So Do Recycled Newspapers Go PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 07:23:31 PM ----- BODY: So Do Recycled Newspapers Go In the Debit or Credit Column? We've read that some environmental groups use junk science -- but junk bonds? William Quick points the way to this unusual story that's not getting a lot of play. That's right, Ken Lay thought he could use the Kyoto Treaty to slam you into paying Enron more money while crippling the rest of the economy. Still mad that Enron Tanked? Seems more like sweet justice to me. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Those Feisty Brunettes Do It PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 08:02:42 PM ----- BODY: Those Feisty Brunettes Do It to Me Every Time Maybe I just like watching Julia Louis-Dreyfus run around in a hot little red dress. Maybe I just like watching something new and fresh. Whatever, I just like Watching Ellie. Julia is gorgeous and funny as always, and -- I never knew! -- has a lovely voice for jazz standards. I hope every show features a song. Even her band was tight. The Daily Show's Steve Carrell was perfectly annoying as the ex-boyfriend, and Darren Boyd as the current boyfriend looks and sounds like a young, blonde John Cleese. I watch maybe four TV shows a week. Now it's five. Good stuff. Set your VCR. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: SorkinWatch Evening Edition Our spy's PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 10:04:48 PM ----- BODY: SorkinWatch Evening Edition Our spy's notebook contains the following entries: 5:15pm Munchies strike. Early dinner of Stouffer's Five-Cheese Lasagna, eaten with spoon. 5:31pm Turns on CBS News on kitchen TV. (We figured he'd watch Rather) 5:33pm Talking at TV, calls Bush an "asshole." Still, no traitorous reamarks. 6:00pm Turns off TV, plots overthrow of all existing order. (Sorry, we made up that last one just to spike things up a bit) 6:14pm Tells telemarketer to screw off. 6:48pm Finished doing dishes, takes a hit and then takes nap 8:25pm Hits snooze alarm and misses premiere of Watching Ellie Once again, readers, we'll keep you informed of all the amazing activites in the average day of a high-powered TV executive! ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Drunken Teenage Sluts Part II PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 10:10:45 PM ----- BODY: Drunken Teenage Sluts Part II DailyPundit brought to my attention that the study I quoted earlier claiming that 25% of all booze in this country is consumed by teenagers, is woefully incorrect. The actual figure, according to the New York Times, is under 12%. Three things: 1) The initial figure was probably accurate from 1982-1989. VodkaPundit was born in 1969 -- you do the math. 2) The initial figure will probably be correct again within a few months of the onset my midlife crisis. 3) Even if neither of the above two items come true, a man can still dream, can't he? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Just Don't Drop the Soap PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 10:16:51 PM ----- BODY: Just Don't Drop the Soap Once again, Dan's super-fine ass shines through at Happy Fun Pundit. Just click and you'll understand. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: The Czech Judge Didn't Approve PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 11:21:42 PM ----- BODY: The Czech Judge Didn't Approve of Our Uniforms SatireWire out-onions The Onion. The story kicks off with, "Despite making what most observers agreed were "obvious technical errors," such as surrendering, the Taliban were awarded victory in the Afghanistan war last night after the French judge said they won on presentation." It gets funnier. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Roll Out the Blogger, We'll PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/26/2002 11:26:22 PM ----- BODY: Roll Out the Blogger, We'll Have a Blogger of Fun For his unusually well-reasoned posts, for his love of a good single malt (I'm an Oban guy myself), but mostly for his ability to work multiple Steely Dan song titles into a single sentence, Charles Austin's Sine Qua Non Pundit is officially blogrolled. Since I prefer my heavy news early, you'll find Charles under Hair o' the Dog. NOTE: I know I promised no more singing headlines, but what the hell -- it's late. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: A Long Post, But Size PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 12:03:59 AM ----- BODY: A Long Post, But Size Does Count. So Read It Already If it’s Wednesday, it must be Tom Friedman. An acquaintance here in Saudi Arabia told me this story: He was touring the countryside by car and got slightly lost. He saw a car down the road and approached it to ask directions, but each time he drew near, the car sped away. Eventually he caught up to it, the car pulled over, and a terrified driver jumped out to flee: it was a Saudi woman dressed like a man. In a country where it is illegal for women to drive, that's the only way for a lady to get behind the wheel. Great narrative lead, but you used it the other night on NewsHour. This story is a good reminder that not everything here operates in real life as it appears on paper — which is what makes predicting Saudi Arabia's future a very inexact science. As such, I've concluded that there are two possible models for Saudi Arabia's future. I call them the "Soviet school" and the "China school." Now we’re getting somewhere. Interesting theory. Can you back it up? The Soviet school argues that Saudi Arabia is an Islamic version of the Soviet Union: an absolute monarchy that is, like the Soviet Union, ultimately unreformable. The core of this regime is an alliance between a modernizing, but corrupt, theocracy led by the al-Saud family, and the ultraconservative Wahhabi religious establishment, which provides the al-Sauds with legitimacy, and the minute you try to reform it, the whole system will come unglued. The problem with this part of the theory is that unlike Communism, people actually believe in Islam. And the heart and soul of Arabia, the Bedouin tribesmen, seem to believe in the worst form of it, very, very fervently. This is how the Soviet school sees it: The ruling al-Saud brothers are like the old Soviet Politburo; the 50,000 al-Saud princes and relatives are the equivalent of the Communist Party. Wahhabism, the puritanical Saudi Arabian brand of Islam, is used by the al-Sauds to unite the 40 fractious tribes of the Arabian Peninsula, just as Communism was used by Lenin to unite the 100 fractious nationalities of Russia and its neighboring republics. Osama bin Laden is just the evil version of Andrei Sakharov — the insider who steps outside the system to declare that the king has no clothes. Sakharov was exiled to Gorky for that and bin Laden to Kabul. And ultimately, both systems went into decline after unhappy encounters where? In Afghanistan. Here’s why I like reading Friedman. How many other writers on international affairs would be ballsy enough to call bin Laden an evil Sakharov? But again, the theory doesn’t hold sand. In the early, Lenin days of the Soviet Union (it wasn’t even called that yet), people believed in Communism. Or at the very least, they welcomed it as a change from the Czar, hunger, and endless losses to the Germans. By the time of Brezhnev, no one believed anymore. By the time of Gorbachev, they no longer even feared. The intense Saudi competition with Iran for dominance over the Muslim world — which involves financing competing conservative Moslem schools and mosques from Pakistan to Indonesia — is identical to the Soviet competition with China for influence over the Communist world. This part I buy, but it isn’t germane to the argument. It just adds some nice color. The Soviet school concludes that Saudi Arabia has about five more years before its population boom, declining per capita income, need for education reform to create skilled workers and attract foreign investors, excessive defense spending and influx of satellite TV and the Internet combine to explode the Saudi system, just as they did the Soviet one. Huh? By all accounts, I thought the USSR was at best holding steady in population by the late ‘80s, thanks to ecological disaster, alcoholism, fear of the future, etc. And so far as I know, there was no Internet revolution in 1991. Boris Yeltsin’s people were sending out faxes while he stood on the tank. Furthermore, Russia did and does have first-rate universities, especially in engineering and the physical sciences – areas Communist ideology couldn’t really mess with. Today still, Russia is probably the best-educated third world nation ever. The China school, by contrast, begins with the assumption that Saudi Arabia is a country that makes no sense on paper but in real life has a lot more cushions and ballast, which enable it, like China, to pursue two seemingly contradictory policies at once. In China it's Communism and capitalism, and in Saudi Arabia it's Wahhabism and rapid modernization. Oil is to Saudi Arabia what huge direct foreign investment is to China — a natural resource that allows the system to buy off a lot of discontent and enables people to cheat on the system, and thereby let off steam, behind closed doors. Ahh. Now maybe we’re getting somewhere. Let’s keep reading. In the China school, Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Abdullah is the equivalent of China's reformist Prime Minister Zhu Rongji. In particular, like Zhu, Abdullah is trying to push Saudi Arabia into the World Trade Organization to create external pressure for more rule of law and transparency — but this move is resisted by more corrupt elements of the elite who benefit from the status quo. I can’t argue with that, so I won’t. Finally, like China's rulers, the Saudi ruling elite knows how to stay in power and will do whatever it takes to do so. In China's case that meant bringing capitalists into the Communist Party and crushing students at Tiananmen, and in Saudi Arabia's case it will mean confronting the radical Islamists — just as the al-Sauds did before when they wanted to introduce radio, television and women's education. Like China's leaders, the Saudi monarchy can garner support from the middle class — not only by buying them off, but also by arguing that the alternative to their rule would be chaos or extremists. I need to quibble here. The House of Saud stays in power by supporting Radical Islam both at home and abroad. That’s why 15 of the 9/11 barbarian killers were Saudis. If Friedman means they’ll reverse course to keep the United States happy, I think he’s living in a dream world. Caught between a domestic threat and a foreign one, Saudi will choose to risk the wrath of the foreigners. The China school dismisses the idea that Saudi Arabia will collapse in five years. It notes, instead, that for 50 years, someone has come out with a study every five years that says Saudi Arabia has only five more years. Which school would I bet on? Ask me in five years. I can answer that one after this next sip of Scotch. (Slight pause) Saudi is a modified China. But Friedman left out the third school – the one run by the United States Marine Corps. One off-loaded division on Saudi’s Persian Gulf coast, and they’ll get quite an education. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: To Whom It May Concern PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 12:21:09 AM ----- BODY: To Whom It May Concern Someone is becoming a very frequent reader from the Popsite domain. I know this, because you're Googiling me every time you visit. I appreciate the engine hits, I really do. But do yourself a favor and bookmark VodkaPundit. You'll find it much easier to find it that way. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It Only Sounds Harsh Because PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 12:37:00 AM ----- BODY: It Only Sounds Harsh Because He Means It That Way Thanks to cloning techniques and embryonic research, and otherwise against the odds, a baby was born without the Alzeimer's gene. The 30-year-old mother, who is not named, carries a form of Alzeimer's that will surely strip her of her mind sometime in the next 10 years. This dominant version was certain to be passed on to any child she might bear -- without the help of medical science, that is. So will you anti-science weasels please now shut up? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Would You Like Curry With PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 12:43:42 AM ----- BODY: Would You Like Curry With That? More good news from the biggest potential member of the Anglosphere, courtesy of Fred Pruitt. According to this Times of India story, President Bush seeks to "intensify economic and defence collaboration with India." You can find my original hope for a very close and friendly relationship with India by clicking here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Does Frank Have Any PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 12:51:42 AM ----- BODY: But Does Frank Have Any Short Jokes About Robert Reich? Just when I thought I was El Supremo of the celebrity one-line put-down, here comes Dr. Frank. In this fun post, he calls Noam Chomsky a "senile academic demagogue gnome." And that's one of the nicer things the Good Doctor says. Read the whole thing. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: For MY 16th Birthday, I PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 01:25:55 AM ----- BODY: For MY 16th Birthday, I Wanted A Nice Bottle of Red, Not Too Tannic For those who missed last night's post: Yes, I was made aware that the drunken teens statistic was a damn lie. You can read my apology here. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Such a Nice Little Neighborhood, PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 11:03:13 AM ----- BODY: Such a Nice Little Neighborhood, Too Moving a little slowly right now. Woke up to the sound of the car alarm. Yep, a break-in. No damage, no one hurt -- but I still need some coffee and to settle down a bit. Twenty minutes VodkaPundit will back back to normal business. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Happy Happy, Joy Joy Alex PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 11:27:19 AM ----- BODY: Happy Happy, Joy Joy Alex Del Costillo alerts us to "How China Might Invade Taiwan" from the latest Naval War College Review. After reading this, I hope Taiwan is on the short list to buy F-35s. And lots of them. For the US not to recognize a legitimate democracy while continuing to lend legitimacy to the butchers of Beijing is beyond me. Listen closely: You do not get to kill your students with impunity. And we need to remember that American consumers hold more power over China than the PLA. And back to the NWCR for a second. Military publications have some of the best, most far-ranging, forward-looking articles you'll find on world events. Also check out the Army War College quarterly, Parameters. The Spring issue should be available soon. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: He Will Be Missed Spike PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 11:32:58 AM ----- BODY: He Will Be Missed Spike Milligan is dead. From him we got Peter Sellers, Peter Cooke & Dudley Moore, and Monty Python. And from Python we got the equally irreplaceable Kids In The Hall. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: It's a Little Early for PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 11:40:57 AM ----- BODY: It's a Little Early for a Drink, But What the Hell Richard Bennet is paying more attention to VodkaPundit than I am. Apparently, I outposted the Überblogger yesterday. Thank you, sir! A Raised Glass Salute to Omphalos. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And You Belgian Gits Better PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 11:50:42 AM ----- BODY: And You Belgian Gits Better Watch Yourselves, Too From Matt Welch. The URL says it all. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Back to the News, Right PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 12:17:16 PM ----- BODY: Back to the News, Right After This If reminiscing is the first sign of senility, then I probably don't have much longer before I'm drooling on myself and wearing Depends. In any case, some morbid curiosity got me to collect some celebrity one-line takedowns from the past few weeks on VodkaPundit. Jimmy Carter: “Incompetence is just a lamer form of evil.” Bono: “I thought he died skiing.” Paul Krugman: “He used to be a fair-minded an interesting economist. Now he just works for the New York Times.” Eleanor Clift: “Is Eleanor Clift capable of non-carping, non-shrill, rational thought?” Anne Rice: “Poor woman started taking herself seriously and her readers for granted.” Tom Ridge: “Tom Ridge is still useless.” On Michael Moore: “There is no cutting Moore down to size. Not without a total federal ban on Cheetohs.” Helen Thomas: “The world’s oldest living fossil.” Cal Thomas: “You are officially encouraged to ignore the hell out of Cal Thomas.” Rosie O’Donnell: “The only gay or bi woman with a thing for Tom Cruise” Howard Fineman: “Howard Fineman does everything but break out Monica Lewinski's Presidential Kneepads in this Newsweek write-up of W.” Brian Boitano: "The Mike Tyson of the Skating World." Robert Altman: "If Robert Altman stays in this country, then the terrorists will have won." Alec Baldwin: "And that goes double for Alec Baldwin." Al Gore: "Former Vice President and Presidential "candidate" Al Gore emerged from his hole yesterday, didn't see his shadow, and started making foreign policy noises." Bob Costas: "Costas is the smartest man on television. Unfortunately, he knows this." If we're not safe in our office towers, I don't see why celebrities should be safe anywhere. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: US Invades Georgia, Accidentally Bombs PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 12:33:07 PM ----- BODY: US Invades Georgia, Accidentally Bombs Carter Center Not in my wildest Cold Warrior dreams back in '84 did I ever think we'd have units speckled about the vast spaces of Soviet Central Asia. And now we might be sending up to 200 soldiers to help out in post-Soviet Georgia in the Caucasus, too. The Los Angeles Times reports that Georgia President (and former Soviet foreign minister) Eduard Sheverdnaze has asked for US assistance in battling al Qaeda, and President Bush has agreed. However, no formal agreement has been worked out. Also, no word yet on exactly how fast Stalin is spinning in his grave. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: "Jurassic Park: Special Edition" Will PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 12:38:07 PM ----- BODY: "Jurassic Park: Special Edition" Will Be Much Less Exciting This from the Washington Post: T-Rex wasn't so fast, after all. There's a whole bunch of science stuff involved, but biomechanist John R Hutchinson thinks Tyrannosaurus Rex was a slow walker, and not much of a runner. The six-year-old in me refuses to believe it. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: One of These Things Is PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 12:57:02 PM ----- BODY: One of These Things Is Not Like the Other David Broder in today's Washington Post: "What has happened, I think, is that the war on terrorism has so overshadowed everything else in the news from Washington that other subjects have virtually disappeared." The "other subjects" so important to Broder are the silly education reform law recently signed by President Bush, campaign finance reform, and state budget problems. The education law won't accomplish anything, Americans have never considered CFR important (and rightly so), and state budgets will be quickly fixed by the improving economy. So, yeah, we're still fucking "fixated" on the damn war that's blowing up our financial centers. The question isn't why Red America thinks the war is so important, the question is how David Broder can think his little nip'n'tuck policy wonk issues are. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: VodkaPundit: Episode II -- the PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 03:03:04 PM ----- BODY: VodkaPundit: Episode II -- the Next Round Back from running some errands -- and with big news for fanboys like myself. AICN got hold of the script for the new Star Wars flick. Verdict? "Oh hell yes!" seems to sum up the reaction. Check it out if you're interested. Meantime, cut me some slack. I was an eight-year-old boy when the first movie came out, and I got hooked young. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: But Still Not as Cool PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 03:07:23 PM ----- BODY: But Still Not as Cool as the New Star Wars Pejman Yousefzadeh doesn't just take down Noam Chomsky's latest idiocy, he looks at our real-life Ellsworth Toohey's entire history. Go there. Now. Click already. ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: Tom Friedman Can't Figure Out PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 04:25:38 PM ----- BODY: Tom Friedman Can't Figure Out This Stuff? The more I look at Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah's Middle East Peace Plan, the better it looks for Israel to return to its 1973 borders. Yes, I am just being an ass -- because the plan is so flawed as to be worthless. There are only three reasons why the diplomats are all scurrying around so busily, depending on their nationality: Americans: Setting the Plan up for a fall so we can get back to the business of supporting Israel. Arabs: Setting the Plan up for a fall so they can get back to the business of killing Jews. Europeans: Setting the Plan up for a fall so they can get back to the business of pretending the Arabs aren't killing Jews. Did I miss anything? ----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Stephen Green TITLE: And You Thought You Were PRIMARY CATEGORY: DATE: 02/27/2002 04:29:47 PM ----- BODY: And You Thought You Were Enraged Before I had no id