Done everything save: Pass at the Clergy (not a young lion anymore, they wouldn't be interested), Have Kids, Smack Carson Daly, tattoo in the Philippines, and the Congressional subpoena.

Oh, and it wasn't a classic convertible, but a Japanese Sports Car. Close enough, I suppose. Oh, and 100 over the posted limit. Does that count for two? :)

I don't know about eating at "Mom's." That stands in direct violation with the 3 simple rules you need to remember whenever you're drunk: Never eat at a place called "Mom's." Never sleep with a woman who has more problems than you do. And never play poker with a guy named "Doc."

You don't seem like the kind of guy who would abuse his authority. But I have some goals of my own:
Whup Bob Barker in a fair fight (Adam Sandler found out that he's no pushover!)
Have a posterity as numerous as the seed of Abraham
Turn an enemy into a friend*
Write a best-selling book
Confront a bigger man until he backs down"

Items left off the list due to space limitations:

Nail a cheerleader* Continue to not write sonnets Knock the damn battery off his shoulder

And if you ever do play poker with a guy named "Doc," don't ever even think of accusing him of cheating.

All seven deadly sins in a single afternoon?

I thought that was a blueprint for every afternoon.

Do you get bonus points for venal sins as well?

Try for four in one night ... does it still count if it's with the same woman?

And you missed "Violate each of the 10 commandments. In order."

Hmmm...drinking my own age in Jell-o shots would, at this point in my life, be courting alcohol poisoning...

"Try for four in one night after age 30"

All I can think to say about that is to quote master Yoda: "Do, there is no TRY"

My additions:
-Visit Red Square and moon Lenin's Tomb
-By God, as unrealistic as it is, you still have to add Go Into Space
-See a game at Yankee Stadium, Fenway, Wrigley, Dodger Stadium, Lambeau, Soldier Field, Texas Stadium, Cameron Indoor Arena, and Pac Bell (yes it's new and named after a corporation but already a classic ballpark)
- Eat at a southern Waffle House at 3 in morning on a weekend.
- Vacation at the Redneck Riviera.

More additions - one lifetime is hardly enough:

Walk the Appalachian Trail
Drink Purple Jesus at Disneyland(-world)
Ride horseback in rural Mongolia*
Pee on a National Monument*
Dance at my daughters' weddings
Be subpoenaed, period.*
See Antarctica

Always nice to drink the wine on someone else's tab, eh Stephen?

Did that myself, back in 1981. The same wine is about $500 nowadays, if you have it at a restaurant.

Now that most states have come to their senses and raised the limit to reasonable speeds (none of them border the Great Lakes) it's getting harder to be "bad", morally or physically. Hell, most non-Euro cars top out before you can get 50 over.

Me? Seventy over in a Swede sedan with the a/c cranked up, behind a frustrated Porsche pilot who couldn't shake me off.

How am I supposed to do something gentlemanly for a hooker????

Your wife could give you a pedicure.

I'm still working on getting my husband to have a facial. He really, really needs one.

Russ - only from the outside. Can't moon him inside.

-Visit Red Square and moon Lenin's Tomb-

My husband walked in w/his hands in his pockets and they gestured to him to remove them.

Dever: I think you're referring to some of "Canada Bill's Laws:" 1) Never eat at place called Mom's (although I _have_ eaten at a place called "Eats" which I don't recommend, either); 2) Never buy a used car from a man called Frenchy; 3) Never play cards with a man called Doc, and 4) Never, ever go to bed with anyone who has more problems than you do.

They are all good advice

Spend a year with Zevon's "Lawyers, guns, and money" as your credo.

I better drink my age now, because it's only going to get harder.

Of course, I may have done it already - it's not like I would remember right?

Here's my ongoing list of things to do when I start University in a few weeks. Those of you who've been there, feel free to suggest additions:

Take Ecstasy and dance all night

Seduce an authority figure

Two guys at once.

Steal something valuable

Destroy something beautiful

Break every clause of my dorm contract

Publish an essay

Sleep outside

Deliver a speech to a large crowd

Lose a fight

Win a fight

Gamble more than I can afford

Lie about who I am

Get religion

Some of mine:

See your son take his first deer.
See your father take his last.

Ken: It's not hard to find a place where you can go 50 over the speed limit. Just stay off the interstates and do 75 in a school zone.

Well, my kid, who I love to death (figuratively) just got back from Canada with a bottle of real absinthe. It was a Mountain Dew bottle; the original was discarded before crossing the border. Amazing stuff.

I have changed a stranger's flat tire; I have given dozens of strangers jump starts.

I've changed careers, eaten at "Ma's Diner", learned not only to paint but also to plaster and hang cabinets, and pilfered office supplies. Not much else on the list I'm ever likely to do.

Sean--

I've been in University a few years and I'd shoot down a few on your list, and add some.

Don't destroy something beautiful. There's already enough s*it, and if you don't know that now, you'll find it out.

If you're going to break clauses on your dorm contract, remember this. RAs don't care about what they can't see (or hear). Anything they can see you'll probably have to pay for.

Get religion. Then question it like all hell. You'll probably lose it again. Spend the rest of your life finding it.

Drive somewhere at three in the morning with a full tank and come back with an empty tank. Sleep through classes the next day. This cannot be planned.

Find the professors who will buy you drinks.

Learn to cook, if you don't already know. I have the reputation of a genius (?!) in both my majors and am one of a few students incredibly tight with the residence life staff to the point of oddness, but what really gets people to bow down to me is my ability to make something that isn't Ramen.

I'm pretty sure I've managed the "50 over" task, but can't say for certain since my old Crown Vic's speedo only went up to 85mph. Average speed for the trip was 110mph, distance was 55 miles, with a bit of normal street-level driving on either end. Speed limit was 65mph on the interstate, since this was over the Bonnie Carrie Spillway.

Drink your age in Jell-O shots
I refuse to consume Jell-O, period. The stuff is congealed Kool-Aid. I dont' even want to think about the side effects of 42 shots.

Pilot an airplane
A P-51 Mustang would be cool.

Make a pass at a clergyman or woman
I've been kissed by an elder's daughter - does that count?

Comfort someone who is dying
Was a hospice volunteer once.

Spend a summer as a Renaissance Fair geek
I used to be in the SCA - close enough.

Abuse your authority
Problem: that first requires having authority.

Ok, how do you commit the sin of "sloth", in an afternoon,
when you've managed to get six other deadly sins done in the allotted time frame?
I mean, procastinating, or lounging around an afternoon,
isn't sloth; it's just time management issues.
And the other six were work you intended to get done...

Destroy something beautiful

Here's hoping you meet your Howard Roark soon, Sean.

Jack London recommended only four: build a house, plant a tree, father a child, write a book.

You can't do all seven deadly sins in one afternoon.

After the first six envy is impossible to pull of.

There are all kinds of beauty in the world. Nobody here is going to be burning any paintings or beating up supermodels - but some forms of beauty can only be appriciated because of their fleeting existance. Like those sand drawnings that are blown away as quickly as they are made. Creation and destruction are two sides of the same coin. At least, that's my philosophy.

So.... *looks around at blank stares*

...who likes to Drink? Yea!

That was a close one...

50 over is a morning commute on a motorcycle. (Only 75 in a 25, takes about 3.5 seconds.)
Try forty over...on a bicycle.
How about:
Go down rapids, without a boat.
Speak to an audience of over a thousand people.
Spray paint your own car.
See a solar eclipse.
Make your father proud.
Conduct business on the phone while naked.
Commit a children's book to memory.

dennymack

"Win over a hostile crowd?"

I incited one, once. Does that count?

Hal - one of my minor goals in life is to be accused of incitment to riot. I would consider it the ultimate proof of rhetorical skill.

Last I looked, it only took a handful of people to legally constitute a riot. The charge might wind up conspiracy instead.

Stephen, once you have those kids that you will love to death, kiss goodby to any and all not yet completed item on your list.

things I have done:
Change careers
Have sex in public without getting caught
Get caught
Do something regrettable in Vegas (unrelated to any of the above)
Fail completely at something big
Succeed at something even bigger
Build a fort
Spend a day at a spa (well a half-day!)
Sneak into a movie
Jump in a river/lake/ocean fully dressed
Win over a hostile crowd
Spend a summer as a Renaissance Fair geek (does SCA count?)
Laugh because it hurts
Eat at a diner called "Mom's"
Look for buried treasure
Learn how to paint
Comfort someone who is dying
Commit all seven deadly sins in one afternoon
Drink a $500 bottle of wine
Roll down a hill of freshly-cut grass
As an adult
Pilfer office supplies
See a movie at a drive-in
50 over the posted limit
Do something gentlemanly for a hooker (or, just polite, if'n you are a chick too)
Eat all the green M&Ms
Try for four in one night after age 30
Sleep in until at least Tuesday

Where's the skinny dipping with thirtyfive people? Eating an entire meal made of chocolate? flipping off a public servant? ;)