Hello Mullah, hello Fatwa
Here I am at Camp al-Qaeda
Camp is very entertaining
But when I'm home I'll have to do some 'splaining
I went hiking with bin Laden,
He has got this kidney problem
You remember that guy Omar?
He got hit last night by some Air Force bomber
All the bombsmiths hate the fighters
And the caves have no escalators
All that climbing makes me throw up,
But they say it's either that or we get blown up
Don't go thinking I'm some fairy,
But my cave mate has dysentery
You remember Brother Hamel?
We caught him late last night with an old camel
Take me home, oh for the Jihad!
Take me home, I hate al-Qaeda!
Don't leave me out in the desert,
Where I might get shot by a Canuck!
Take me home, I promise that I won't steal planes
Or destroy stuff and cause you pains
Oh please don't make me stay;
Now I see the One True Way!
Dearest Fatwa, darling Mullah,
I have met a pretty Bella
We'll both come home if you miss us;
I hear she's even hotter sans that moustache
Wait a minute; the bombs stopped falling
Guys are shooting, guys are mauling
My gal just left me, how much I hate her
Mullah, Fatwa I won't be home 'til much later!
A (dare I say it) disarming poetic endeavor, while you might not be a "weird al yanko..", it's better'n average.
Actually, Steve, I find this highly intellectual, in a sort of vague, weird way. But damned funny anyway. But, Steve: "Don't go thinking I'm some fairy..."? Should I, er, be offended? Oh, guess not. Never mind. :) And the God debate still rages, and will continue for several days, at least. And some more folks will probably join in (a "raving" somebody or other included). So feel free to join in whenever you want. How many drinks did you have while writing this wondrous work, anyway?
Here's a lost verse:
The camp coun'slor gave us raisins
Said they'd turn into lots of virgins
We'll be martyrs for the ummah
Bein' splodeydopes for Palestine in'shallah
oh my lord. help! someone! i think he must be sober! oh the humanity.
You give Laurence Simon the password to your control panel?
Tom Lehrer? Not quite, but pretty damned funny anyway.
I'll toast you if I can have a bit of whatever you've been drinking.
Chortling...
I like all my poetry with a twist of lime.
Nope, not Tom Lehrer. Alan Sherman. I miss his musical wit-- it was much gentler than Lehrer's. (I like Tom Lehrer's stuff, too, but sometimes it's just so..... acid....)
Thank you, thank you very much!
(HaHaHaHaHa!)
It would be funnier if it scanned better. But a valiant try.
There once was a country called US
And they thought they were the best
Then along came a country
With the best ladies and gentry
And that country was France.
France!
Go France!
